DasWiso wrote:Pelicans are quite alright by me. In fact i think they are fantastic! I love watching these big bastards from afar, flying, diving, eating, floating, sitting - whatever, i love watching these big bastards. Salut Pelican's - you're alright by me.
Well, why don't you invite one to live in your house with you if they are so wonderful?
Have him sit next to you on the couch while you watch televsion. Toss him potato chips and laugh. Have him sleep next to you at night. Make a little sleeping cap with moons and stars sewed onto it for him. Ask him to join you in the shower. Teach him to poop in the toilet. Walk him to the dog park on a leash and tell the other housewives how lovely he is to have around and how you can't imagine life without your glorious god damn pelican sex buddy.
How about running up and giving one a big hug and a dozen kisses on the top of his ugly fucking rotten distorted knobby parasite ridden pelican head?
No, I doubt you'll be doing any of that.
You know why? Because pelicans are fucking disgusting mistakes of nature that's why. You know it as well as I do. Mean little flying aquatic wobbly ass hobgoblins. Like E.T. if E.T. was severely physically, mentally and sexually abused as an adolescent. That's what a pelican reminds me of. You think they are 'fantastic'
Give me a fucking break with that shit. Blow your smoke up someone else's chute. Save it for the greenpeace picnic this summer. We are talking reality in this thread, not your fantasy world where pelicans make your bed for you in the morning and tuck you in at night.
A pelican would just as soon cut your fucking throat as it would look at you. Don't mean shit to a pelican to take a man out. A pelican has a heart about the size of a pea and it has the feel and consistancy of beef jerky. Rough and leathery with no give. None at all.
You go ahead and buddy up to one, see what happens.