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Worst live band you've ever seen

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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby A Landing Craft on Sun Jul 01, 2012 5:18 am

Back when The Junction in Stokes Croft was a nasty spit 'n' sawdust punk dive, I saw some really bad acts (I worked behind the bar for a while - loved it, mind), but I don't think it's fair to slag off amateur bands...there's too many. I do remember the metal night where every band covered "Hammer Smashed Face". And I remember the UK Subs were bad, with Charlie Harper singing a rude Xmas medley - god, that was like watching your granddad play with himself.

All-time worst experiences? Well, there's only three significant ones that come to mind.

3rd place: While in my last band, we were supported by a band called Atriaxis Vibration. They said they loved Blue Cheer so that sounded okay. Maybe I was hearing things, because they must have said "we love 3rd-rate Hendrix and Level 42". Ooohh, I'm cringing at the memory.

2nd place: Rosie Red Rash at Portishead's ATP way back in 2007. Seriously dreadful, but in a way I felt sorry for them because everyone seemed to exit after the first song. Still, it was painful and they deserved it.

1st place: Brian Jonestown Massacre in 2008. I went with some friends just for a social thing, so I only have myself to blame. The place was sold out, the band were so lifeless and dull, and since most of the audience had seen 'Dig!', the show ground to a halt before the end because Miss Newcombe can't deal with hecklers. I told a pal (who is a massive BJM nut) that I thought they were fucking atrocious, and he replied "maybe you were just in the wrong part of the audience". No. I kept going outside and chain smoking, walked around the venue - it was tripe wherever I stood, and I can never forgive myself for being dragged along to see them.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Wood Goblin on Sun Jul 01, 2012 9:23 am

BClark wrote:
Isabelle Gall wrote:
famousjunkie wrote:
Isabelle Gall wrote:Cohen's lyrics are more immature than Richman's


How so?

In the way they encapsulate the florid pretensions and rote misanthropy of young, sensitive men.

i'm not going to pretend that i like all his lyrics, but this is a pretty silly assessment of them. absurdly reductive to say the least.

and he's more immature than the something about mary guy?


I'm not going to rank Richman's lyrics against Cohen's, because I'm only slightly familiar with Cohen and like some of the lyrics I've heard, but Richman is a great lyricist in general. I've maintained for years that he's a better lyricist than Lou Reed.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby llllllllllllllllllllllll on Sun Jul 01, 2012 10:19 am

Heath wrote:
Isabelle Gall wrote:In the way they encapsulate the florid pretensions and rote misanthropy of young, sensitive men.


I completely agree with this.


Yeah. Wow.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Isabelle Gall on Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:07 am

I don't have any problem with Cohen. Like quite a bit of his music and only mentioned him here as holmes had already done so and it seemed like an interesting contrast to Richman, one as supposedly sophisticated and the other childish. Also, Cohen has said similar about the lyrics to many of his songs over the years.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby segerandpriest on Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:06 pm

Eugenius wrote:
Angus Jung wrote:
segerandpriest wrote:Loch Lomond from Portland, OR. They make the Decemberists, with whom they share a member or an au pair or something, come off like Hanoi Rocks.

It was like if Enya was comprised entirely of prep school kids from the prep schools where rich kids go after they have already been tossed from a "better" class of prep school (for web porn.) A lotta khakis. Stonewashed jeans. Keyboards and piano, a bass with too many strings. Flunkie English major lyrics delivered like the Ten Commandments by the lead khaki douche while a couple stonewashed "background singers" chirped. On the choruses they sang in the round. So meaningful.

There are about 152 other bands in Oregon just like this. In 2012.


FYP for Wider Relevance


I love that state way more than my family and most of my friends, but yeah, that's the fucking problem with OR. It was always a great larf living and playing in Eugene though, where there were indeed bands I liked and almost all of them bore 1-6 degrees' worth of connection to the (Cherry Poppin') Daddies. That never stopped being hilarious to me. However, hearing that there are li'l Loch Lomonds infesting the I-5 corridor and points east makes me wanna piss shit. They better stay the fuck out of Sisters.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby mufkin taskellsz on Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:45 am

hylje wrote:
bishopdante wrote: SCARY AWESOME STORY TOO LONG TO QUOTE


Holee shit. HoF.



Seriously. Some of the best writing I've read in a long time! Thank you!
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby mufkin taskellsz on Mon Jul 02, 2012 10:56 am

holmes wrote:Slint, at 'atp vs the fans' in 2007, for example, was so crushingly depressing that I actually left half way through. I was listening to a lot of slint at the time, and it was remarkable how boring they made such interesting music. 3 minute gaps between songs, all kind of looking bored, and a massive sense of detachment between the performers and the music being performed.


Back in "the day" when I was fairly obsessed with Slint, I heard many people speak of their legendary live boringness. I was appalled that anyone in the same room with those songs could've been bored. Eventually, I heard some bootleg cassettes, and all but one of them captured what sounded like halting, uninspired performances. So, I suppose I was partially prepared when I saw that same show you saw. That setting surely didn't help- it was like a giant hospital waiting room- and I agree that the band was anything but engaging. I would wait and wait between songs, and my feet would itch to move on, but then they'd go into one of those gorgeous songs and I'd be pinioned. It was a weird experience. I guess they're just more suited to the studio.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby SecondEdition on Fri Jul 20, 2012 9:19 pm

The worst live performance I've ever seen was Nobunny. He opened for Girls, who merely dialed it in. Christopher Owens looked like he would rather have been anywhere but on that stage. That whole night was depressing.

Nobunny's performance was consumer fraud, plain and simple. This gawky, eyeronik, squeaking douchelord was standing up there in a banana hammock, a blazer with no shirt and fake bunny ears hacking at a grievously out-of-tune Epiphone SG destroying a (fucking great) song by the Human Beinz named "Nobody But Me" that he'd oh-so-cleverly rewritten as "Nobunny But Me," which he was squeal-shrieking in a cartoon falsetto. Ha Ha! Ho Ho! Hee Hee! Haw Haw! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PRICK!

The whole goddamn set was like that. Witless, tuneless novelty garage rock, and the most notable song was plagiarized to boot.

Predictably, and depressingly, the hipsters lapped it up and tried to do something that might once have been moshing in a senile librarian's imagination, but amounted to jumping in place, their haircuts flapping to and fro, with smiles so fixed and so placidly stupid they almost seemed medicated.

Just thinking about it makes me angry.

I've also seen unrehearsed high schoolers give better and more artistically worthy performances than Iceage. What a lame, terrible, amateurish band. They played punk rock like it was something you learned from a manual. The Madison powerviolence band that opened, Deep Shit, blew them off the fucking stage. And the little I saw of Pleasure Leftists that night was amazing too, which made Iceage suck even more by comparison.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Luzwei on Sat Jul 21, 2012 4:28 am

SecondEdition wrote:The worst live performance I've ever seen was Nobunny. He opened for Girls, who merely dialed it in. Christopher Owens looked like he would rather have been anywhere but on that stage. That whole night was depressing.

Nobunny's performance was consumer fraud, plain and simple. This gawky, eyeronik, squeaking douchelord was standing up there in a banana hammock, a blazer with no shirt and fake bunny ears hacking at a grievously out-of-tune Epiphone SG destroying a (fucking great) song by the Human Beinz named "Nobody But Me" that he'd oh-so-cleverly rewritten as "Nobunny But Me," which he was squeal-shrieking in a cartoon falsetto. Ha Ha! Ho Ho! Hee Hee! Haw Haw! FUCK YOU, YOU FUCKING PRICK!

The whole goddamn set was like that. Witless, tuneless novelty garage rock, and the most notable song was plagiarized to boot.

Predictably, and depressingly, the hipsters lapped it up and tried to do something that might once have been moshing in a senile librarian's imagination, but amounted to jumping in place, their haircuts flapping to and fro, with smiles so fixed and so placidly stupid they almost seemed medicated.

Just thinking about it makes me angry.

I've also seen unrehearsed high schoolers give better and more artistically worthy performances than Iceage. What a lame, terrible, amateurish band. They played punk rock like it was something you learned from a manual. The Madison powerviolence band that opened, Deep Shit, blew them off the fucking stage. And the little I saw of Pleasure Leftists that night was amazing too, which made Iceage suck even more by comparison.


That's quite funny. Btw, Nobunny is big in Cro hipster movement.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby jojobongo on Sat Apr 20, 2013 12:30 pm

mufkin taskellsz wrote:
holmes wrote:Slint, at 'atp vs the fans' in 2007, for example, was so crushingly depressing that I actually left half way through. I was listening to a lot of slint at the time, and it was remarkable how boring they made such interesting music. 3 minute gaps between songs, all kind of looking bored, and a massive sense of detachment between the performers and the music being performed.


Back in "the day" when I was fairly obsessed with Slint, I heard many people speak of their legendary live boringness. I was appalled that anyone in the same room with those songs could've been bored. Eventually, I heard some bootleg cassettes, and all but one of them captured what sounded like halting, uninspired performances. So, I suppose I was partially prepared when I saw that same show you saw. That setting surely didn't help- it was like a giant hospital waiting room- and I agree that the band was anything but engaging. I would wait and wait between songs, and my feet would itch to move on, but then they'd go into one of those gorgeous songs and I'd be pinioned. It was a weird experience. I guess they're just more suited to the studio.


Y'know, I actually forgot I'd seen them live at this very same gig, until I saw mention of it here; I guess thats how unmemorable it really was. Might as well have stayed in the chalet listening to the CD, it would've felt less awkward. There was even a tangible feeling of discomfort amongst the crowd :|
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby danno on Sun Apr 21, 2013 4:52 pm

The Red Hot Chilli Pepprs at the v fest 2001 i saw them with navarro in 94 and was quite impressed but this was shocking stopping in between songs to argue arrangements, a singer that won't sing and a guitarist that gazes up into space feed backing to something completely different. but weirdly enough the full moon rose in front of that stage on both occasions :?
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby danno on Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:16 am

Chilli peppers at v 2001 completely abysmal apart from chad smit. bad sound, forgot songs
and had no stage communication at all :(
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Colonel Panic on Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:20 am

Probably Fun Club.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Ike on Wed Apr 24, 2013 9:38 am

Annathallo. They are the worst band I've ever seen by a long, long shot. Danko Jones still ranks up there, but this Annathallo were abysmal.

They opened up for the Constantines and just absolutely stunk the joint up with the worst emo/art school/fucking Polyphonic Spree bullshit. Private school strikes again.

J. Burns, please tell me more about the above band.

What a fucking horrorshow of a band, right there. Did they perform in actual blackface?
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby unsaved on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:33 am

Went to see Cracker at the Metro 20 years ago and the goddamned opening band was Counting Crows. christ.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby zom-zom on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:36 am

Jody Foster's Army

B'last

Two of the worst bands I had to do sound for. Just awful, sloppy garbage.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Eugenius on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:48 am

I saw the Inspiral Carpets once (although it may have been twice), dear god they were awful.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Dave N. on Wed Apr 24, 2013 11:51 am

hylje wrote:
bishopdante wrote: SCARY AWESOME STORY TOO LONG TO QUOTE


Holee shit. HoF.


Outstanding. How did I miss this the first time it came around?
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby hellholiday on Wed Apr 24, 2013 12:07 pm

Jay Reatard. Everything I enjoy about his recordings (melody, personality, dark fun) was stripped live. He played, looked and sounded bored.

Peelander-Z. Terrible music with annoying kiddie props.

Jucifer. Whats the point in a literal wall of amps when they are all set to 1? I could have taken a nap during their set.
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Re: Worst live band you've ever seen

Postby Otto Parts on Wed Apr 24, 2013 1:22 pm

(1) Palace. I too have seen a bad Palace show. This was doubly disappointing as it was the tour for "Viva Last Blues", an album I really liked. Will was in his Members Only jacket/mirror shades/pencil mustache attire, and the bassist obviously didn't know the songs (I was told he had just joined the band a couple days prior) and was watching the guitarists and trying (unsuccessfully) to follow along. Plus some dickhead in the crowd was shouting for "O Paul" at the top of his lungs between every song. People just gradually left.

(2) Atari Teenage Riot, opening for Jon Spencer Blues Explosion circa 1996/97. Absolutely cleared the room with maybe 3 songs. This was at a club where the band was in one big room and the bar was in a big adjacent room, and everybody just headed to the bar. I heard that the next night they were at a place with only one big room that was sold out and the crowd had nowhere to go, and by mid-set they were getting the YOU SUCK, GET OFF THE FUCKING STAGE type reaction.

Some of you mention Violent Femmes - I saw them back when their first album had just come out and they were great. One of the best shows I've ever seen. Go figure. I also saw a really good Cat Power show a few years ago. Go figure again.
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