by jimmy two hands on Mon May 02, 2011 10:19 am
Last night was a doozy. I was on facebook and had a bunch of friend requests that were flagged as "special", where I had to go to a warehouse to view them, and the warehouse was full of old tvs playing VHS videos of people. And you had to go locate the tvs with the friend requests on them to respond. There are a few other people walking around trying to find their requests, and I see Bob Weston walking around, so I ask him if he knows who any of these people are. He says they are folks from the Alaskan wilderness, and this is how they do facebook there because there is no internet there. So I decide there's some kind of mistake because I don't know anyone from Alaska, so I leave the warehouse by climbing a ladder to the roof.
On the roof there's a guy having a yard sale and there is a table full of coffee mugs. I notice there is a really fancy looking tea cup with a picture of the flyer from a Red Swan show in 2007. I ask the guy where he got it, because we never did much in the way of merchendise, and he says he made it. I ask him if there's a whole set, because I figure the rest of the band might want one too. I also ask him if he has them in coffee mug form since I prefer coffee to tea. He says no, there are no additional Red Swan cups or any in coffee mug form, but there is another mug I might want. He points out an electrical audio mug and he says I can have both for 2 dollars.
So I give him a dollar for each cup, and as I hand each bill to him, he pulls the artwork off of the cups and sticks them to the bills and puts them in his wallet. I'm like, "what the fuck? Give me my money back, I don't want these cups anymore." He tries to give me back different set of bills, but I insist on having the original bills. He says "don't make me get out of this chair and kick your ass." I say, "We both know you haven't gotten out of that chair in years." He says, "that's it, I'm really gonna get up now," and he puts on this ridiculous samurai helmet that's made of tupperware and is full of ice cubes. So I say, "I'll believe that when I see it, and I need some ice for my drink." and I take out a few ice cubes and put them in my mug, which is now full of a coffee. He says "you better not take my favorite ice cube." and I say "I'm gonna, what are you gonna do about it?" and I take out this really big ice cube, about the size of a rolling pin. I can't fit it in my cup so just hold on to it, and he gets out of his chair and chases after me, and he's about 8 feet tall, so I start running.
I go into this hallway with a flight of stairs at the end of it, and there's a famous actress walking (I can't remember who) down it, and I say "you better get out of the way, because it's going to get violent in here." and she says "You know I jsut told you that!" which was some kind of catchphrase from a sitcom she was on, and a laugh track starts going. And the garage sale guy is standing in front of me and he says "I always hated that show." "Me too" I say. Then he punches her and grabs onto me and gets ready to punch me, and his fists are about the size of my entire head. "Fuck this," I say, and I teleport 3 feet backwards so that his punch misses me and I catch his fist and twist it around a bunch of times, and he starts screaming really high pitched. "Shut up, you sound like a girl" I say, and I smack him across the face with the giant ice cube. Then I awoke.
I.
me.
we.
us.
they.
Stickles wrote:It celebrates the genius of the Northern military strategy and I'm sure that in addition to that they were perfectly nice guys.
