home studios equipment staff/friends booking/rates for sale forum contact

More British Dentistry News

Moderators: kerble, Electrical-Staff

More British Dentistry News

Postby Cranius on Mon Oct 25, 2004 4:02 pm

User avatar
Cranius
World's Greatest Writer
World's Greatest Writer
 
Posts: 10334
Joined: Tue Aug 31, 2004 5:29 am
Location: Bethnal Green, Tower Hamlets

Postby Andrew L. on Mon Oct 25, 2004 9:11 pm

Well, at least he’s building up his resume while unemployed.

Experience

Extracted three and one half teeth from my own mouth with a pair of rusty pliers. I shit you not.
Andrew L.
Eternal Bosom of Hot Love
Eternal Bosom of Hot Love
 
Posts: 3318
Joined: Sun Jun 20, 2004 11:33 pm
Location: Alien Residency

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Sun Nov 05, 2017 6:05 am

Local Bloke jailed for depleting 8% of world’s ozone layer

--Sydney Morning Herald—

A local bloke has been incarcerated for depleting 8% of the entire planet’s ozone layer with his hairspray. “He has enough hairspray in there to send the Hindenburg to fucking Mars and back” stated Judge Gunston in is closing statements. ““His name is Gene-O Monaro. He stands 6”8 and plays A-grade club rugby on the weekends. But that’s beside the point right now. He has enough fluorocarbons in his hair to cause a polar bears pubes to burst into flames from 800,000 miles away.”

Related Articles:

http://gunstonlegal.wixsite.com/legal



Image
Gene-o Monaro: 6”8 rugby player with exploded pubes.

“I added 10 more years to his sentence for the crime of entering my courtroom wearing a comically small jacket tied nonsensically around his waist, an item of clothing that will obviously never fit over the top of the big thick jacket he is already wearing.”

Image
“10 more years!”

“As for the hairspray, when he entered my courtroom, my thick swatch of dashing hair was greying in a distinguished manner” said the Judge. “By the time he left, my skull looked like the Amazonian rainforest had been shot through the flames of Satan’s arsepuck halfway to fucking Hades."

Image
“57 more years!”
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:27 am

Nuremburg Barbie Defects to Mexico.

--NY Times--

Amidst the recent confusion swirling around the US due to the controversial nature of President Trump's governance, Nuremburg Barbie has quietly gone and defected to fuckin' Mexico.

Image
"Hola, cunts."
--Nuremburg Barbie in sunny downtown Mexico.

The blonde-haired reptilian ex-advisor to President Trump tonight explained that "I just cannot afford to donate any more of my fucken hair to the Trumpster. I'm getting dangerously thin up there. Plus, the orange cunt's already fracked my pubes halfway to fucken Tijuana and back and gone and sewn the poor little cunts to the top of his fuckin head."

Upon being informed of the defection, President Trump immediately announced open auditions on the 25th floor of Trump Tower for the vacant position of Presidential Advisor which is "open to all chicks with blonde hair and big blonde frackable pubes."
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Speedie on Fri Nov 10, 2017 1:25 am

^^ Lol'd like a fuckwit at this.

Salut! and welcome, FM Sprague Dawley
Trey wrote:How great must a thread be to miss such a thing? Beans on the penis great, I suppose.



https://thegreenwhistle.bandcamp.com/releases
User avatar
Speedie
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
 
Posts: 3963
Joined: Thu Jan 24, 2008 12:36 am
Location: Downunderyourmother

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Sat Nov 11, 2017 3:33 am

Local Man Wins Big Chair Award.

--Japan Times--

A local man has won The Biggest Daftest Chair Award for the second week running.

Image
"I've got the biggest daftest chair not the longest fucking arms you stupid
fucking cunts. Come a bit closer."


The man said the chair cost him 10 bucks down at the local recycled shop. "Then I souped it up a bit" he said. "I put the vertical extensions on. I call them 'vert extensions'. Sometimes I call them 'racing fins' when I'm half-pissed. Coupla bits of two by four, then I painted the cunt white. You want to sit on it? Sure go ahead, be my guest, it'll only cost you a beheading but that's no skin off my cock."


Image
"Look fuckfaces, I am not coming any fucken closer. You come the fuck over here. That's what we did last week when I won this same award you Alzheimer's memory-loss cunt brigade."


Image
"Ahh fuckit, just give the bloody award to one of the wheelchair hotties and they can roll the fucking thing on over to me... useless wankers."

User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Tue Nov 14, 2017 9:13 pm

Nuremburg Barbie Adjusting To Life In Mexico After Defection.

--NY Times--

President Trump's former right-wing I mean former right-hand confidante, Nuremburg Barbie, is said to be settling in well after defecting to fucken Mexico last month. She is now said to be almost fluent at speaking Mexican.

Image
“Hola cunts, el diablo dildo mein conquistador el gash pubes fracking time.”
--Nuremburg Barbie buying a loaf of bread in sunny sperm-stained downtown Mexico.


Image
“Hola taco-faced cunt, mein Berlin wall spic hombre el paso burrito tortilla?”
--Nuremburg Barbie asking what time is the next bus to fucken Tijuana


Image
“Hola mein sombrero el pubus memorandus Shell Oil Gulf of Mexico el gringo cunthead Pablo Escobar?”
--Nuremburg Barbie in the supermarket asking where the fucken Tabasco sauce is.
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Mon Nov 20, 2017 6:23 am

Local 4-Year Old Crowned King of Jokes.

--USA Today--


"Oh yes, he is definitely the King of Jokes around here" said 8-year old Melissa Gurnedheight. "He just rides around on his tricycle telling his jokes to unsuspecting people, to both adults and children and before they know it, they're pissing mist and spilling scalding-hot Starbucks coffee all over their dicks. Or tipping over their trainer-wheeled chariots onto the grass, engulfed in delirious fits of laughter."

Image
"If I've got 2 girls, 1 cup, and deez nuts then what have I got?"
"Oh shit, you told me this one before and it gets ugly" said young Sarah Peddleman as she sped off on her Schwinn.


"A granny tranny, an octopus, and a chinaman were waiting in the bukkake line when..."
"GAHH, Jesus, not that one" said 5-year old James Brownwaite, as he cupped his hands over his ears, closed his eyes, and ran off head-first into a tree.

Image
"A jew, an arab, and a welshman were donkey punching an orphan mongol child in the 9/11 rubble when suddenly.."
"La la la, I can't hear you, motherfucker."

User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Fri Dec 08, 2017 5:20 pm

Japan demands A-Bomb apology from President Trump.

--TOKYO-—

Japan has urged President Trump to apologize for the U.S. atomic bombings when he visits Japan next. The Commander-In-Chief visited Japan just recently but declined to issue a formal written apology for a-bombing Japan's nutsacks back to the motherfucking Stone Age a few years back.

Community Sponsor: Have Your Say!

http://www.japan-war-apology.proboards.com/


Image
"FUCK YOUUU, GAIJIN TRUMP,
WHERE IS MY WAR SORRY?"

--local MP Mr Kamei.

"Japan Army, I mean, Japan Friendly Aid Unit, was working their way through Asia in 1940's, spreading good cheer and food parcel" said Japanese Prime Minister Shinzo Abe, "when suddenly, in 1945, news comes through from back home that violent war criminal americans have dropped murderous and potentially lethal atomic bombs all over our mums dogs nuts. What the fuck, USA? Cock is meat murder all over our groin gristle."

Image
"Which one of you big-nosed gaijin freak war criminal terrorist cocksuckers is the Trump? ANSWER ME."

"There we were, 1945, minding our own business" continued Abe, "having a good old sing-a-long in Burma, Japanese tea brewing on campfire, live chinaman roasting over an open fire, when hello, we get news from home that ballsacks have gone nuclear, testi's are radiation glowing all over the town, dicks are on fire, and bumcracks are melting all up and down the main drag. What the fuck, USA? Give peace a chance!"

Image
...therefore, here in makeshift Japanese Hague, I today pronounce that you are all GUILTY of war crime against Japanese Imperial Army I mean Japanese Imperial Aid Unit."

"Just working our way through Manchuria" continued Abe, "giving aid to needy dogbreed ching-chong citizens, handing out free chopsticks to those smelly cross-eyed rickshaw motherfuckers, instructing them on the finer points of Japanese bukkake queue etiquette, when what the fuck, a blinding light in the sky and suddenly Code Red, mum's cock has gone thermonuclear. What the fuck, America? If you want chopsticks, just ask for the fuckers!"

Image
"We stop by with free complimentary chopsticks for friendly Pearl Harbour barbeque in 1940's and you repay us 4 years later with nuclear detonation? What the fuck, America? SAY SORRY."

"My Grandfather Kishi and Uncle Tojo were having a peaceful game of mahjong in parlour" continued Abe, "when suddenly bright nuclear burst and grandfather and uncle are both whisked off to War Tribunal Committee and strung up by their nuts by sundown. For what, America? Are you implying Uncle Tojo cheated at mahjong? He was man of honour! Obama must apologize not only for A-Bomb murders but also apologize for impeaching honour of Uncle Tojo as serious mahjong competitor."

Image
"Drinks and refreshments will be served in the foyer afterwards. Thank you."
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Sun Dec 17, 2017 3:00 am

Trump Solves "Non-Existent" Climate Change Issue In 30 Seconds.

--NY Times--

President Donald Trump has today come up with a novel solution for the climate change issue currently manifesting itself globally in the form of rising ocean levels.

"Look, they tell me the ocean levels are rising..." said the skeptical Commander in Chief. "Personally, I don't believe it. Too much water? So what are they waiting for? Just use fire to burn the excess water off. Your local fire department can do that. Send a fire engine to the beach. They can use fire to lower the ocean levels. One beach at a time. Less water means lower ocean levels. That's basic science. Use fire. Fire is a well known heat generator. Fire can burn all sorts of things. Including water. Easy. Problem solved. Next!" 

Image
"Hurry the fuck up, get to that fucking beach,
this global warming shit is a race against fucken time."
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Mon Dec 18, 2017 7:57 pm

Local carpenter forgets to build house

--Sydney Morning Herald--

A local carpenter has slightly buggered up his latest carpentry job by building a roof for a house but forgetting to build the actual house for it first. The stupid cunt is now currently stuck under the fucking roof.

Image
"You stupid cunt. You forgot to build the fucking house."

The man has been described by emergency services as "a nice enough bloke but not the sharpest tool in the kitchen drawer, which he probably forgot to build too."

"He seems quite calm under there" said one member of the rescue unit. "At one stage he did say it was 'a bit dark' and then he wondered aloud if he should 'turn the lights on' but we had to patiently remind him that he hadn't installed any lights. Or, in fact, installed anything. Except the roof."
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby Sprague Dawley on Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:30 am

Govt Minister Spends Japan’s Entire Pension Fund On Corrective Cock Surgery.

--Japan Times--

It has been revealed that a local government minister has recently spent Japan’s entire pension fund on corrective cock surgery for himself and for his dog. “We both needed it” justified the Minister. “We were both born with crooked cocks. No dog and its master should suffer the pain of a lifetime together with identically crooked cocks.”

Image
“Minister, this receipt says you spent 300 billion yen on corrective cock surgery for you and your fucking dog? What the fuck?”
“Not entirely correct. The dog and I actually had a surgical procedure done to exchange cocks. His was slightly bigger.”


The Minister has a history of wasteful spending. Last year he blew Japan’s entire Road & Infrastructure budget on a hairpiece for his dog. The year before that, the annual pension fund allotment was all spent on a solid gold 5-storey shitting castle for the exclusive use of his dog.

Image
“No, of course I did not spend all of the tax money on a hairpiece for myself. Don’t be ridiculous. It was for the dog. He’s a really great dog. The hairpiece perfectly complements the wonderfully straight cock. What the fuck is the problem here?”
User avatar
Sprague Dawley
mayor daley
mayor daley
 
Posts: 100
Joined: Sat Jan 31, 2009 8:59 am

Re: More British Dentistry News

Postby jimmy two hands on Wed Dec 20, 2017 9:29 am

BIG BOOK OF BRITISH SMILES OR GTFO
Image
Image
banjo.comics.pigfuck.stoner metal.rock operas.

AudioTruth wrote:Everything I buy from other brands break after a couple years, this is because they are only interested in making money. I'm only interested in long-lasting eargasms.
User avatar
jimmy two hands
King Shit of Fuck Mountain
 
Posts: 14248
Joined: Tue Jan 24, 2006 10:20 pm
Location: Fortress Jimbotron


Return to General Discussion

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Baidu [Spider] and 11 guests