Metallica and Lou Reed

[MF]

"chance" and "romance" are rhymed in the FIRST song. I didn't think shit like that was still possible in 2011.

[The Flying Ninja]

Fuck me if Lou Reed doesn't sound just like Abe Simpson at times.

[MF]

Fuck me if Lou Reed doesn't sound just like Abe Simpson at times.

LOL! So true.

[Justin Foley]

I've been unsure if it's really that bad or just wonderfully ambitious with an unfortunate outcome.

Hetfield's first "Why do I cheat on me" at about the 4.30 mark in Cheat On Me confirms that it's awful.

It seems like it would be terrible to have to manage Lou Reed's use of a microphone. It sounds like he keeps looking away while he's singing.

Does anyone remember that movie "Heat"? Like, it was supposed to be a big deal that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro were appearing onscreen together at the same time, but then, when you actually watched it they didn't really, except for this one scene in a restaurant where you only see the back of one while the other's talking at him and it actually could have been a stand in's back and they maybe could have done the thing by never even being in the same room? I was just reminded of that.

= Justin

[Justin Foley]

Made it up through about 9 minutes of Dragon. I just couldn't take any more.

Oh man.

= Justin

[The MayorofRockNRoll]

Musically this album might be the best thing they've done since their cover of Whiskey In The Jar, but that's not really saying much.

Remember that episode of Star Trek, where the android short circuits after Spock says, "Everything I tell you is a lie."

That above sentiment almost did about the same.

[Ptommydski]

Does anyone remember that movie "Heat"? Like, it was supposed to be a big deal that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro were appearing onscreen together at the same time, but then, when you actually watched it they didn't really, except for this one scene in a restaurant where you only see the back of one while the other's talking at him and it actually could have been a stand in's back and they maybe could have done the thing by never even being in the same room? I was just reminded of that.

This is exactly right.

The actual record is impossible for me to listen to since I no longer have any patience for Reed and always hated Metallica. However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out. It's an interesting but ultimately ridiculous experiment. That's fine though. I'll bet the five dudes who made it really like it. Good for them.

[madmanmunt]

However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out.

I rather think it is.

Listening to the samples, I get the feeling Metallica are unable to play music anymore, all they can do is to play at being "Metallica".

[dvockins]

However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out.

pumpin bluuud

pumping blooouuud

pmpin blud

...

if I'm pumping blud like a common state workah <china cymbal>
if I waggle my ass like dark [unintelligible] prostitiute coagulating heart
<riff>
come on james

It is as comically awful.

It's worse than the songs that are supposed to be mocking it.

That's a sign of top shelf garbage.

[Ptommydski]

Metallica are bad because they are numbskulls who play awful music. This is not a new thing. Lou Reed makes them borderline tolerable in places, somehow. I think Mark Lansing is right.

[tallchris]

J. Burns describing it as a "heavy metal Jandek" has me way more curious.

[Marsupialized]

I think it's twice as bad as I could have ever imagined, listened to the whole thing in the car today and I am not exaggerating one bit when I say it's worse than Tune Yards. It is literally the worst music I have ever heard in my life. I cannot envision, even if professional musicians were set out TRYING to make the worst album ever recorded, the most unpleasing music to the ear, that they could possibly conceive of something like this. Every single thing, every step of the way, unbelievabley God awful. Every single second.
Metallica has teams of lawyers, label people, hangers on and nobody said 'what the fuck are you doing? This is awful, literally not one human on the planet would ever willingly listen to these sounds you've made for enjoyment or any other reason'
It is the audio equivalent of that video of that dude being fucked to death by the horse, you just never, ever wanna even think about it again. It was a terrible idea from the get-go and you just want it to be taken and thrown off a bridge.

If Lou Reed was buried in the mix, with a ton of echo and reverb and shit on his voice, all atmospheric and whatnot, it would just be a shitty 'experimental' album. No big deal. The way it is, the way it's mixed now? Lou Reed TWELVE Times louder than anything else? Sounding like he's messing his diapers repeatedly? Unfathomable that anyone would hear it and say 'Boys, I think we got it. People are gonna LOVE this shit, gonna blow some minds!' Absolutely insane.

[Mr. Chimp]

I think it's twice as bad as I could have ever imagined, listened to the whole thing in the car today and I am not exaggerating one bit when I say it's worse than Tune Yards. It is literally the worst music I have ever heard in my life. I cannot envision, even if professional musicians were set out TRYING to make the worst album ever recorded, the most unpleasing music to the ear, that they could possibly conceive of something like this. Every single thing, every step of the way, unbelievabley God awful. Every single second.
Metallica has teams of lawyers, label people, hangers on and nobody said 'what the fuck are you doing? This is awful, literally not one human on the planet would ever willingly listen to these sounds you've made for enjoyment or any other reason'
It is the audio equivalent of that video of that dude being fucked to death by the horse, you just never, ever wanna even think about it again. It was a terrible idea from the get-go and you just want it to be taken and thrown off a bridge.

I made it through 50% of four songs. They really made the wrong decision to stream it before the official release. I don't know how they think that anyone would ever listen to this twice.

It is everything I dislike about the act of hearing music.

[rappard]

Unfathomable that anyone would hear it and say 'Boys, I think we got it. People are gonna LOVE this shit, gonna blow some minds!' Absolutely insane.

I think you're missing the point (if there is one). Quoting Ptommydski:

It's an interesting but ultimately ridiculous experiment. That's fine though. I'll bet the five dudes who made it really like it. Good for them.

It's completely self-indulgent wankery, nothing more.

That said, the YouTube EPK (posted a few pages back in this thread) comes across as totally scripted and insincere. Also, who produced this garbage?

[Marsupialized]

You think they are not worried about selling any of these? You are out of your mind. There are big posters up in my neighborhood advertising it. It's coming out on a major label. If it was just a fuck around blow off for themselves they would not be promoting it with interviews, posters, specials, a tour, etc... They think people want to hear this shit, not only that but pay MONEY to hear this shit.

[numberthirty]

You think they are not worried about selling any of these? You are out of your mind. There are big posters up in my neighborhood advertising it. It's coming out on a major label. If it was just a fuck around blow off for themselves they would not be promoting it with interviews, posters, specials, a tour, etc... They think people want to hear this shit, not only that but pay MONEY to hear this shit.

After they've streamed it.

Both parties are clearly tripping balls hard.

[rappard]

You think they are not worried about selling any of these? You are out of your mind. There are big posters up in my neighborhood advertising it. It's coming out on a major label. If it was just a fuck around blow off for themselves they would not be promoting it with interviews, posters, specials, a tour, etc... They think people want to hear this shit, not only that but pay MONEY to hear this shit.

Yeah yeah yeah....so they know they have a rabid fanbase that will basically lap up whatever garbage they put out. But this is such a car wreck that I cannot imagine that at no time during the recording and mixing of this album, no one told them this was utter crap. And yet they persisted....

(Or they're completely surrounded by sycophants, who knows?)

[BadComrade]

This album will be used to torture people in the near future.


This album reminds me of bad pretentious `90s indie rock (vocals especially).

There's a tiny bit of Gastr del Sol / Slint in this, too.

[Marsupialized]

It sounds like you are on the train, one one side of you there's someone listening to their brother's metal band real loud on their Ipod, the other side is a crazy old man ranting and raving at nobody in particular. This is not a situation people search out or attempt to replicate at home.

[andyman]

I can respect that they tried. Parts of it, though, man, wow (see: "Little Dog"). It's like they stuck with the first attempt to mimic "artier" sounding records and just assumed it worked.

Lou Reed's dark/epic vocals sound pretty impotent...