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Metallica and Lou Reed

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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Frank Decent on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:46 am

Major wrote:Just started listening to this. How Lars manages to become WORSE as time goes on is beyond me.


Someone was asking me recently, "how is he a bad drummer?" and it was difficult to explain because he's not overtly bad, as if he were completely incompetent or some shit. But he drums like an asshole. Some fucks drive like assholes. They're all over the road, they don't signal, they speed up the right, they ride your ass, and then brake at the last second, spread half-way over the crosswalk. That's how Lars drums. He doesn't seem to play with the band, he plays on them. Jaymz presents some riffs and Lars rolls around on it like cat nip. Flailing and blurping and licking himself. Fuckin' arsehole.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby MF on Thu Oct 20, 2011 7:57 am

"If you make others feel like jam, pour it on a piece of charbroiled lamb."

Oh yes!
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Major on Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:05 am

There are some instrumental, drum-less stretches that are somewhat compelling. I like the beginning of "Cheat on Me" and the strings in "Junior Dad".

Lou Reed sounds like he's suffering from dementia and Jaymez sounds like he's making fun of him.

Frank, you nailed it: Lars is "The Prick on the Freeway with the Dumb Sports Car" of drummers. Fantastic analogy.

I could see a big Lou Reed fan digging this. I think die hard Metallica fans will be pissed.

This wasn't nearly as bad as I imagined. But I'll never listen to it again.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Neuloveyou on Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:21 am

Bar the line which seems to go something like "Don't show me mercy, my name's not Percy" I......................... quite enjoyed this.
As a big Lou Reed fan, I feel like I've suffered through worse. I can't put my finger on exactly what that would have been, but I definitely feel like I've suffered through worse.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby whoisalhedges on Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:22 am

Neuloveyou wrote:As a big Lou Reed fan, I feel like I've suffered through worse. I can't put my finger on exactly what that would have been, but I definitely feel like I've suffered through worse.

The Raven, perhaps?
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby MF on Thu Oct 20, 2011 8:43 am

"chance" and "romance" are rhymed in the FIRST song. I didn't think shit like that was still possible in 2011.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby The Flying Ninja on Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:23 am

Fuck me if Lou Reed doesn't sound just like Abe Simpson at times.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby MF on Thu Oct 20, 2011 9:32 am

The Flying Ninja wrote:Fuck me if Lou Reed doesn't sound just like Abe Simpson at times.


LOL! So true.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Justin Foley on Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:02 am

I've been unsure if it's really that bad or just wonderfully ambitious with an unfortunate outcome.

Hetfield's first "Why do I cheat on me" at about the 4.30 mark in Cheat On Me confirms that it's awful.

It seems like it would be terrible to have to manage Lou Reed's use of a microphone. It sounds like he keeps looking away while he's singing.

Does anyone remember that movie "Heat"? Like, it was supposed to be a big deal that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro were appearing onscreen together at the same time, but then, when you actually watched it they didn't really, except for this one scene in a restaurant where you only see the back of one while the other's talking at him and it actually could have been a stand in's back and they maybe could have done the thing by never even being in the same room? I was just reminded of that.

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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Justin Foley on Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:29 am

Made it up through about 9 minutes of Dragon. I just couldn't take any more.

Oh man.

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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby The MayorofRockNRoll on Thu Oct 20, 2011 11:53 am

scott wrote:Musically this album might be the best thing they've done since their cover of Whiskey In The Jar, but that's not really saying much.


Remember that episode of Star Trek, where the android short circuits after Spock says, "Everything I tell you is a lie."

That above sentiment almost did about the same.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Ptommydski on Thu Oct 20, 2011 1:45 pm

Justin Foley wrote:Does anyone remember that movie "Heat"? Like, it was supposed to be a big deal that Al Pacino and Robert DeNiro were appearing onscreen together at the same time, but then, when you actually watched it they didn't really, except for this one scene in a restaurant where you only see the back of one while the other's talking at him and it actually could have been a stand in's back and they maybe could have done the thing by never even being in the same room? I was just reminded of that.

This is exactly right.

The actual record is impossible for me to listen to since I no longer have any patience for Reed and always hated Metallica. However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out. It's an interesting but ultimately ridiculous experiment. That's fine though. I'll bet the five dudes who made it really like it. Good for them.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby madmanmunt on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:31 pm

Ptommydski wrote:However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out.

I rather think it is.

Listening to the samples, I get the feeling Metallica are unable to play music anymore, all they can do is to play at being "Metallica".
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby dvockins on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:34 pm

Ptommydski wrote:However, it's nowhere near as comically awful as people are making out.


Lou Reed wrote:pumpin bluuud

pumping blooouuud

pmpin blud

...

if I'm pumping blud like a common state workah <china cymbal>
if I waggle my ass like dark [unintelligible] prostitiute coagulating heart
<riff>
come on james


It is as comically awful.

It's worse than the songs that are supposed to be mocking it.

That's a sign of top shelf garbage.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Ptommydski on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:36 pm

Metallica are bad because they are numbskulls who play awful music. This is not a new thing. Lou Reed makes them borderline tolerable in places, somehow. I think Mark Lansing is right.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby tallchris on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:41 pm

J. Burns describing it as a "heavy metal Jandek" has me way more curious.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Marsupialized on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:46 pm

I think it's twice as bad as I could have ever imagined, listened to the whole thing in the car today and I am not exaggerating one bit when I say it's worse than Tune Yards. It is literally the worst music I have ever heard in my life. I cannot envision, even if professional musicians were set out TRYING to make the worst album ever recorded, the most unpleasing music to the ear, that they could possibly conceive of something like this. Every single thing, every step of the way, unbelievabley God awful. Every single second.
Metallica has teams of lawyers, label people, hangers on and nobody said 'what the fuck are you doing? This is awful, literally not one human on the planet would ever willingly listen to these sounds you've made for enjoyment or any other reason'
It is the audio equivalent of that video of that dude being fucked to death by the horse, you just never, ever wanna even think about it again. It was a terrible idea from the get-go and you just want it to be taken and thrown off a bridge.

If Lou Reed was buried in the mix, with a ton of echo and reverb and shit on his voice, all atmospheric and whatnot, it would just be a shitty 'experimental' album. No big deal. The way it is, the way it's mixed now? Lou Reed TWELVE Times louder than anything else? Sounding like he's messing his diapers repeatedly? Unfathomable that anyone would hear it and say 'Boys, I think we got it. People are gonna LOVE this shit, gonna blow some minds!' Absolutely insane.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Mr. Chimp on Thu Oct 20, 2011 2:56 pm

Marsupialized wrote:I think it's twice as bad as I could have ever imagined, listened to the whole thing in the car today and I am not exaggerating one bit when I say it's worse than Tune Yards. It is literally the worst music I have ever heard in my life. I cannot envision, even if professional musicians were set out TRYING to make the worst album ever recorded, the most unpleasing music to the ear, that they could possibly conceive of something like this. Every single thing, every step of the way, unbelievabley God awful. Every single second.
Metallica has teams of lawyers, label people, hangers on and nobody said 'what the fuck are you doing? This is awful, literally not one human on the planet would ever willingly listen to these sounds you've made for enjoyment or any other reason'
It is the audio equivalent of that video of that dude being fucked to death by the horse, you just never, ever wanna even think about it again. It was a terrible idea from the get-go and you just want it to be taken and thrown off a bridge.



I made it through 50% of four songs. They really made the wrong decision to stream it before the official release. I don't know how they think that anyone would ever listen to this twice.

It is everything I dislike about the act of hearing music.
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby rappard on Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:06 pm

Marsupialized wrote:Unfathomable that anyone would hear it and say 'Boys, I think we got it. People are gonna LOVE this shit, gonna blow some minds!' Absolutely insane.

I think you're missing the point (if there is one). Quoting Ptommydski:
Ptommydski wrote:It's an interesting but ultimately ridiculous experiment. That's fine though. I'll bet the five dudes who made it really like it. Good for them.

It's completely self-indulgent wankery, nothing more.

That said, the YouTube EPK (posted a few pages back in this thread) comes across as totally scripted and insincere. Also, who produced this garbage?
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Re: Metallica and Lou Reed

Postby Marsupialized on Thu Oct 20, 2011 3:12 pm

You think they are not worried about selling any of these? You are out of your mind. There are big posters up in my neighborhood advertising it. It's coming out on a major label. If it was just a fuck around blow off for themselves they would not be promoting it with interviews, posters, specials, a tour, etc... They think people want to hear this shit, not only that but pay MONEY to hear this shit.
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