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Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

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Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby projectMalamute on Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:29 am

A conversation on the Facebook last night introduced me to Joe Bonamassa, and his merch:

https://shop.jbonamassa.com/

It took a generic white person blues rocker to push merchandising beyond the benchmark set by Kiss. Here are some of the items you can purchase:

A Joe Bonamassa silver coin.
Over a dozen different Joe Bonamassa tin pick holders.
A Joe Bonamassa LED sign.
5 different Joe Bonamassa license plate frames.
A Joe Bonamassa signature plexiglass amp baffle.
5 different Joe Bonamassa Christmas tree ornaments.
40 odd Joe Bonamassa pins.
20 different Joe Bonamassa sweaters for dogs.
16 different bandanas for dogs.
3 dog collars.
(there is a 'dog apparel' section)

I haven't even gotten in to the shirts and sweatshirts and jackets.

Who is this guy and what is going on? Please explain.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby numberthirty on Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:24 am

projectMalamute wrote:Who is this guy and what is going on? Please explain.


You sure you actually want to know?
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby elisha wiesner on Sat Nov 04, 2017 9:28 am

Blues Lawyers needed someone younger than Eric Clapton to worship and JB was the next guy in line I guess. The music is as uninspired as you think it is.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Adam Sr on Sat Nov 04, 2017 10:00 am

First result on youtube is a 12 minute version of 'Just Got Paid'...

I daren't.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Me Again on Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:02 pm

Hah, I haven't heard much of his music but once saw a video on Reverb.com in which they showed him in a house of his -- probably not the one he lives in -- full of seemingly nothing but gear. He had a room full of Fender amps with about 50 nearly identical vintage tweed amps in a row, arranged like tombstones in a graveyard with very little space between them. It looked like he was hoarding them. Someone needs to tell him that when he dies he won't be able to take all of that gear with him.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby jbar on Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:53 pm

Man, Melvins got nothing on this guy.


I kinda want those stomp box flip flops.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Sat Nov 04, 2017 2:45 pm

Me Again wrote:Someone needs to tell him that when he dies he won't be able to take all of that gear with him.


But he will be able to be buried in one of a choice of five Joe Bonamassa coffins with a custom Joe Bonamassa headstone.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Me Again on Sat Nov 04, 2017 3:48 pm

Anthony Flack wrote:
Me Again wrote:Someone needs to tell him that when he dies he won't be able to take all of that gear with him.


But he will be able to be buried in one of a choice of five Joe Bonamassa coffins with a custom Joe Bonamassa headstone.


Zzzziiiinnnngggg!

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Redline on Sat Nov 04, 2017 3:48 pm

He has to pay for those Les Paul Standards and Hamers somehow...
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:14 pm

To be honest I've never even heard of the dude outside of this thread so I guess his merch empire still has a ways to go before it rivals the Ninja Turtles. I gather from people's comments that he is a somewhat successful purveyor of the lawyer blues and not just some dude who has sent a lot of image files to Cafepress.

Remember when Garfield was the measure of merchandising saturation? For a while there in the 1980s you could barely cast your gaze around without catching sight of Garfield somewhere. People made jokes about it, all the Garfields. Does anybody still make Garfield branded stuff today? I guess somewhere they probably do in some limited capacity.

And then it wasn't so long ago you could walk into a department store and there'd be a whole aisle of Hanna Montana. Whole fuckin' aisle with the exact same image repeated over and over on everything. Imagine how many tonnes of landfill there are out there now with Miley Cyrus' face printed on. I think about those countless millions of copies of her face all the same, rotting in the earth. No wonder she wanted to dissociate.

Devo always enjoyed selling all kinds of branded nonsense. Anybody get the Devo action figures or "Quack that whip" Devo rubber duckie? I see they still sell energy domes and Booji Boy masks. They used to sell Devo hazard suits and plastic haircuts and all kinds of enticing garbage.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bishopdante on Sun Nov 05, 2017 12:02 am

I started asking "who the hell... what... wait a minute" when I saw an advert for one of his amplifiers on reverb for $78,000 a few years back.

"Am I supposed to know who that is?"

YouTube had a simple answer.

phpBB [media]


Be warned, that video could make you very angry.

It is the most sordid karaoke vibe ever.

If I was casting a cocaine addicted southeast-asia-scouring dive-bar-dwelling sex tourist for a movie, he'd be hired.

______

phpBB [media]


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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby WoundedFoot on Sun Nov 05, 2017 2:43 pm

Of course the area for assorted knick knacks is labeled "Home and Office".
I also enjoy the fact that there is a section for "hats" and "fine hats".
Dude is the epitome of generic white guy lawyer blues. Baby boomers love him.
The merch! She is utterly ridiculous.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Sun Nov 05, 2017 3:53 pm

bishopdante wrote:Be warned, that video could make you very angry.


No man, I'm laughing. That's really something else. Wow. The Risky Business look is just perfect too, is that a common style among blues lawyers or is he going out on his own sartorial limb there?

Fans of this guy get what they deserve. They've been given fair warning.

Dweedley-BLUUUUEEESSS....squeedly-deedly-BEDROOOOOM
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Seby on Sun Nov 05, 2017 4:27 pm

This thread has made my day already, and it is barely 8am in Sydney. Salut!
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Redline on Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:08 pm

Beeewwww!
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby n.c. on Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:15 pm

the thread here, she is zere goot!

is the sunshine of humor for fills a heavy heart!

salut! joe badamanassa for your risky buisness blues attorney faces and merch!

salut! prf! again you have made much fun for me!
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby landspeednyc on Sun Nov 05, 2017 7:53 pm

I know very little about him, other than that he owns a lot of vintage gear and isn't anyone I ever need to listen to, but he's thrown down the gauntlet this week:

Joe Bonamassa: "Using pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar is f**king lazy"
http://www.musicradar.com/news/joe-bona ... fking-lazy
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Batman_Jones on Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:02 pm

This rockin' Neil Hamburger litho is pretty sweet

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Major on Sun Nov 05, 2017 9:45 pm

I can't believe that you can buy a Joe Bonamassa-branded Fleshlight called the Joe Bonamassa Boner Masseur.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby numberthirty on Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:20 pm

bishopdante wrote:If I was casting a cocaine addicted southeast-asia-scouring dive-bar-dwelling sex tourist for a movie, he'd be hired.


While this is a bit frosty, it's also dead on. He would not be at all out of place in this scene...

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