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Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby uglysound on Sun Nov 05, 2017 10:50 pm

Batman_Jones wrote:This rockin' Neil Hamburger litho is pretty sweet

Image


Imagine if there was a Faxed Head website with that much merch. Instead we have Joe's Crap Shack. This is truly a dark timeline.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Bill Flaig on Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:11 pm

The baffle deserves it's own post:

The signature Joe Bonamassa Clear Sonic JB-4 baffle is a must for any musician. For use on stage, rehearsal,studio,practicing,guitar amps,bass amps,keyboard amps,bass drums and much more. The baffle will block harsh sound waves while allowing you to get maximum performance from your amplifier. This unique blend of secret "herbs and spices" optimizes the sound, allowing great tone to be picked up by the amp mic. Blues rock titan Joe Bonamassa has performed over 2000 shows world wide. Blasting his fans with soulful as well as powerful blues rock ripping from his amplifier. As every musician knows, your gear is of top importance to you. Joe noticed that his front row were being overwhelmed by the sound of his powerful amplifiers during his performances. Joe got his first small Clear Conic baffle and fell in love with it. After using it for many months Joe had a custom made baffle to fit his specific rig. These 4 - 1/4" Acrylic Panels stand in front of Joe's rig allowing him to play his amp at full volume while protecting his ears.


My god, those herbs and spices.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:12 pm

“I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man…

“I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!”


Once again I can't be angry; this shit is hilarious.

All these years I spent mindlessly practicing my bullshit pentatonic bedroom blues licks has to count for something goddammit! It takes REAL SKILL AND DEDICATION to be an artistically bereft walking cliché factory like me, and these punks think they can come along and be judged by a completely different set of criteria? Get real!
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby scntfc on Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:25 pm

Anthony Flack wrote:
“I’ve really gotten over pedals. I can’t keep up with this craze of boutique pedals that make you sound like everything but your guitar. I can’t get my head around it. So you don’t want to play a guitar [properly] so you buy a box that makes it sound like an algorithm, like you just fired up your computer and you can spend the night staring at your fuckin’ shoes? C’mon man…

“I know I’ll get shit for saying this, but it’s fucking lazy. It’s insulting to people who spent 35 years playing and learning, like a lot of players. And we continue to work at it! These guys can barely play a chord but call themselves soundscapists. Get the fuck outta here! It’s bullshit. There’s so much masking and spin going on there. Can we get real for a minute? What do you actually play? Pick up an acoustic guitar… try that!”


Once again I can't be angry; this shit is hilarious.

All these years I spent mindlessly practicing my bullshit pentatonic bedroom blues licks has to count for something goddammit! It takes REAL SKILL AND DEDICATION to be an artistically bereft walking cliché factory like me, and these punks think they can come along and be judged by a completely different set of criteria? Get real!


<cough> what was that again, Joe Bananahammock?*
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*there are more pedals on page 2.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Me Again on Sun Nov 05, 2017 11:47 pm

bishopdante wrote:
phpBB [media]


Watch the face.


Looks like someone needs to introduce Mr. "Sloe Gin" Bonamassa to Mr. "Cold Gin" Stanley. That'll cheer him up.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Nov 06, 2017 12:10 am

scntfc wrote:<cough> what was that again, Joe Bananahammock?*


He just means blip-blop digital pedals. The Fuzz Face doesn't count because its pure unbuffered analogue circuitly transmits your soulful blues tones directly from your desk drawer to your filing cabinet. It doesn't use masking! and spin! to disguise the fact that the person playing can't even rip out a respectable Layla.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bigsky on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:46 am

bishopdante wrote:If I was casting a cocaine addicted southeast-asia-scouring dive-bar-dwelling sex tourist for a movie, he'd be hired.


It’s always nice to read a line that is more blisteringly funny and succinct than anything you could have come up with.

Bonnamassa is fucking terrible. Blues sent through a fax machine that’s running out of ink. He somehow makes late era Clapton seem edgy and relevant.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bishopdante on Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:10 am

numberthirty wrote:
bishopdante wrote:If I was casting a cocaine addicted southeast-asia-scouring dive-bar-dwelling sex tourist for a movie, he'd be hired.


While this is a bit frosty, it's also dead on. He would not be at all out of place in this scene...

phpBB [media]


This is the sort of environment I was referring to.

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Boombats on Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:36 am

A friend who knows more about Bonamassa than he should, says that the JB fan club and merch department are run by an army of 50 housewives who are soldiers in Joe's army of worship.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Zorg on Mon Nov 06, 2017 9:14 am

The rivalry between two great consumers of gear, the lawyers and the shoegazers conjurs up some kind of epic mods vs. rockers internet message board throwdown.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Tommy on Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:28 am

Zorg wrote:The rivalry between two great consumers of gear, the lawyers and the shoegazers conjurs up some kind of epic mods vs. rockers internet message board throwdown.


Ha! Amazing analogy.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Redline on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:14 pm

phpBB [media]
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:27 pm

Zorg wrote:The rivalry between two great consumers of gear, the lawyers and the shoegazers conjurs up some kind of epic mods vs. rockers internet message board throwdown.


Instead of too many mirrors on their Vespas, it's too many pedals on their pedalboard.

Boombats wrote:A friend who knows more about Bonamassa than he should, says that the JB fan club and merch department are run by an army of 50 housewives who are soldiers in Joe's army of worship.


This story just keeps getting better. I suppose it was their initiative to start the dogwear section.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby duskyamp on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:49 pm

There's a "Fall Collection".

Holy shit.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby 154 on Mon Nov 06, 2017 3:56 pm

I had never heard of this Dad Version of Kenny Wayne Shepherd until seeing dozens of sponsored/'recommended' facebook sidebars for him over the last year.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby brephophagist on Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:20 pm

soulful as well as powerful


Guess everyone needs a side gig nowadays
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Nov 06, 2017 4:45 pm

Redline wrote:
phpBB [media]


Oh, that video is great too.

Hey, I'm just here to pick up this way overpriced guitar for Joe and they said I had to make this video. I don't know WHY since I'm not even in a band any more but whatever. What do you want, some of that bluesy shit? A couple metal riffs? I dunno man, can't I just drink my coffee? Yeah, the guitar sounds great, I mean it's fine, well, I don't really care to be honest.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby rappard on Mon Nov 06, 2017 5:08 pm

Anthony Flack wrote:
Redline wrote:
phpBB [media]


Oh, that video is great too.

Hey, I'm just here to pick up this way overpriced guitar for Joe and they said I had to make this video. I don't know WHY since I'm not even in a band any more but whatever. What do you want, some of that bluesy shit? A couple metal riffs? I dunno man, can't I just drink my coffee? Yeah, the guitar sounds great, I mean it's fine, well, I don't really care to be honest.

YouTube's "Up next" suggestions after this video lead to even more entertaining material.

If you can make it through all 459 seconds of "Joe Bonamassa sound check: backstage tips" (no way I'm linking that) you should really move to your natural habitat.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:25 pm

Bill Flaig wrote:Blasting his fans with soulful as well as powerful blues rock ripping from his amplifier.


Code for fart
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Nov 06, 2017 8:35 pm

rappard wrote:YouTube's "Up next" suggestions after this video lead to even more entertaining material.

If you can make it through all 459 seconds of "Joe Bonamassa sound check: backstage tips" (no way I'm linking that) you should really move to your natural habitat.


Aw, for me YouTube just throws up a bunch more videos of Hamer guitars. Google must believe that you like Joe Bonamassa more than I do.
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