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Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Seby on Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:42 pm

eliya wrote:
Seby wrote:-Shooting handguns with Scarlet Johansson in Amsterdam. She can handle a 1911 well enough.


Yeah, you gotta elaborate on that. I mean, what?


Shooting is a popular pass time in Europe, and Amsterdam alone has several handgun clubs. I was a member of (and occasional instructor at) one of the very small ones. Just a bar, with a couple of fifteen yard lanes through a large window. (Side note - one may drink and shoot in Europe, and it is fun.) It is only open twice a week and the same small tightly knit group of us would have a ball.

One club member, Mark, is a model, and he does a bit of work in the film industry also. One of Mark's friends was friends with Johansson's then boyfriend. One night Mark came in with her, her boyfriend, and his friend, and she shot guns and drank beer just like everyone else. And again, ftr, she's pretty good!

She picked up the club's .45, and shooting cold she put an entire magazine inside a ten inch ring at thirteen yards. There are plenty of long term club members who would not be able to do that.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby tbone on Wed Nov 22, 2017 11:59 pm

One day many years ago, my (now) wife and I were walking into a Walgreens by her old apartment in Lincoln Square. There was a community bulletin on the door about an attempted abduction, and the details were that a woman was walking into this Walgreens with her two young children, and an older woman walked up and said "you have too many children, I'm taking one of them." and attempted to scoop one of the kids up and bolt. This was thwarted somehow (details are hazy now) but the community bulletin was just saying watch out for this kind of shit, in the community. In retrospect, not 100% helpful without a picture of the cray cray old lady.

We were reading this aloud to each other and commenting how fucked up it was, as some SUPER CREEPY old lady, very similar to the "crazy cat lady" from The Simpsons, walked up very close to us and stared deep into our eyes, very crazily, and said "HOW YA DOIN'?" and just kept walking right into the Walgreens without skipping a beat.

Also this was before the pigeon man of Lincoln Square had died. He was a few feet away, feeding the fuck outta some pigeons while all of this shit went down. Click the link and you can see how this certainly does not detract from the surreality of the situation.

To this day, when weird shit happens, I turn to my wife and say "HOW YA DOIN'?" and we both immediately know what I'm talking about.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby total_douche on Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:42 am

Probably the day my godmother died; I felt really detached from reality that day.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby kokorodoko on Thu Nov 23, 2017 9:52 am

Some years ago, I lived on a student campus by the lake, and I used to take walks through the forest. At this time I was experimenting with every mind-altering substance I could get my hands on. Not knowing any drugdealers I bought things off webshops - things fresh out of the lab and not yet scheduled. More curiosity than sense, I certainly had. There was this thing called Methoxetamine making the rounds, and it gave me many interesting experiences, but that's another story.

Anyway, this one evening I was taking my walk through the forest in this altered state of mind. It was late autumn, there was light raining, its sound amplified, making it sound like the ground was crawling. When I was nearing the edge of the forest, where there was a small beach, I could see through the trees the light from a campfire. Moving out of the forest and onto the beach, I saw a group of people standing in circle around the fire. I stopped for a moment and looked at them. One of them waved at me and told me to come over.

There were five or six of them. Middle-aged women. I think they told me they were shamans. They were meeting like this once every month. They were happy that I came by, so that they would get some male energy into the group. They gave me soup and bread, and we sat around the fire doing some kind of sharing. It seemed everyone just spoke for a while about whatever crossed their mind, so I did the same. Then each one threw a rose into the fire. They gave me a sack of wood and I was told that I should light this fire myself some other day.

When I left, one of them gave me a warm hug, and told me that I should take care of my soul, because it is the most important thing.


---

Thinking about this afterwards, I remembered Terence McKenna once gave a slight caution against venturing outside among other people when on psychedelics, because the parameters of reality are suspended, and basically anything can happen. Who knows.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Carl on Thu Nov 23, 2017 10:11 am

Three having to do with religion...

One time after picking me up from Hebrew school, my mom got Muhammad Ali to double over in laughter by slamming our station wagon into a parked van upon seeing him exit Louis Farrakhan’s house. (A couple years later, Mom used the station wagon to accidentally knock our garage into the back yard.)

Inviting an old friend of my grandfather’s to dinner resulting in us dining with the old friend’s son and daughter-in-law, who both had styled their eyebrows with points in the middle…but otherwise seemed very button-down conservative in their dress and demeanor. Over the evening’s conversation, it became clear that the couple were the founders of the Temple of Set.

Sitting on a bus in Pittsburgh, I was looking out the window when a slightly disheveled middle-aged man boarded. He sat down near the front and looked back at me a couple times. Ten minutes into the trip, he screamed “He’s damned! He’s damned! You all can see it!” He then left the bus and I continued my journey into damnation.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby projectMalamute on Thu Nov 23, 2017 12:18 pm

New Years eve, 1996 I think. 709 Pearl St, Ypsilanti, Michigan. Big house that seven friends of mine rented.

My band played the New Years party they had.

Some dudes spent all day setting up a massive installation of Christmas lights covering every wall and ceiling, wired to these hugs boards covered in light switches. Dozens of switches controlling hundreds of chains of lights.

Totally packed room, hot, claustrophobic, overwhelmingly loud, crazy lights.

There was a big vial of high grade liquid LSD. Most people were tripping hard.

My friends ferret died, a portion of the show was a massive communal outpouring of grief. Call and response yelling about the ferret over feedback and such.

Memorable show.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Boombats on Thu Nov 23, 2017 1:28 pm

Adam Sr wrote:Thread putting the 'urea' in 'surreal.'

nice

Carl wrote:Inviting an old friend of my grandfather’s to dinner resulting in us dining with the old friend’s son and daughter-in-law, who both had styled their eyebrows with points in the middle…but otherwise seemed very button-down conservative in their dress and demeanor. Over the evening’s conversation, it became clear that the couple were the founders of the Temple of Set.

fucking awesome

Seby wrote:-My friend Henry's last night as the leaseholder of the Gloc, a truly great metal bar in Oxford. Ten minutes before the end of the lease he announced, Tony Wilson style, that people may trash the place and take what want. So they did. All of it. In ten minutes the place was stripped bare. I've a pic of some tiny emo girls ripping the fan out of the ceiling.

My friend did this when his bar closed down, but got sued by the landlord for many thousands of dollars. He never had to pay though, because the landlord killed himself before the case was over!


Can I just say that based on the rest of his post, Seby has an insanely interesting life?
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby m3kcomp on Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:13 pm

For years I have been doing an Easter egg hunt for my nephews in the backyard of my Parent's home.

I fill several dozen plastic colored eggs with crazy toys I find throughout the year, hide them around the yard and they seek them out.

Last year they found all but one of the eggs. It happens.

This year, I began hiding the eggs as usual. I was at a far edge of the yard when I turned and noticed something orange in the center of the lawn, the bright color clearly contrasting with the green of the grass. I thought I must have dropped one of the eggs out of the bag I was using...as I don't just plop an egg on the grass for them to pick up. It's a hunt.

As I approached, I saw it was one of the plastic eggs...but broken. Into a lot of pieces. The largest piece, the one I saw from across the yard, was in the center surrounded by the other smaller pieces neatly surrounding it in a circle. I realized I didn't have any orange eggs to hide this year, and that this was the egg we had never found the year before. An animal (or?) had clearly broken the egg apart, there were gnaw marks on some pieces.

Again, this is in the center of the yard. A yard that had been played in for a full year since the egg had vanished. I had been walking the yard for a good 20 minutes hiding eggs before the orange egg parts appeared while my back was turned. It couldn't have been thrown and land the way it was presented in the grass.

The toy was gone, whatever it had been.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby total_douche on Thu Nov 23, 2017 11:29 pm

m3kcomp wrote:I fill several dozen plastic colored eggs with crazy toys I find throughout the year, hide them around the yard and they seek them out.


If I ever con someone into making kids with me, I am totally stealing this idea.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Janeway on Fri Nov 24, 2017 5:42 pm

im just so happy, im 30 and divorced and free and healthy and have a room with my family and it feels like the end montage scene of a movie like, i did it :P


you guys im 30 now!!!

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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Redline on Fri Nov 24, 2017 8:15 pm

Seby wrote:
(Side note - one may drink and shoot in Europe, and it is fun.)

Lot's of activities are fun, but I would not recommend drinking while handling firearms.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby first2letters on Fri Nov 24, 2017 10:19 pm

Early ‘90s, western Pennsylvania, probably close to 3 in the morning coming back to Indiana on Route 286 after seeing the Jon Spencer Blues Explosion play at City Limits. There were 5 of us in the car, and all of us saw it: an old woman, wearing a pink shawl, alone on the side of the road with no houses around for hundreds of feet in any direction. Arms outstretched, no face. The car interior got silent for a long moment afterward, and we hit the gas. I have chills now just typing this.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Seby on Fri Nov 24, 2017 11:22 pm

Redline wrote:Seby wrote:
(Side note - one may drink and shoot in Europe, and it is fun.)

Lot's of activities are fun, but I would not recommend drinking while handling firearms.


I would recommend it. We even had a shooting/drinking game called "Bang!". The looser has to buy the winner a drink in between each round. Here are the rules:

1. Each player must contribute a box of ammo of higher caliber than 22lr.
2. A player may choose the gun that both he/she and all other players must use for each round when shooting the player’s ammo.
3. Rounds consist of two cards of five shots each.
4. The best card from each player’s card–pair is each player’s final score for that round.
5. Highest scoring card is winner’s card, lowest scoring card is loser’s card.
6. In case of draw, a sudden–death one–shot shootout will take place, with the best shot being the winning shot. If all players shoot the same point– score, then the distance to the centre of the ten–ring decides it.
7. For any given round, the person whose ammo is being shot decides the shooting constraints for that round. For example:
• Slow or rapid–fire. • Single or double–handed. • If single-handed, then strong or weak–hand. • If revolver, then single or double–action. • Offhand or from the hip. • El President ́e (with adjusted scoring rules). • Open (no constraints). • ....
8. A player may join in at anytime (see points 1 and 2 above).
9. A novice shooter (less than six months) must shoot a round with no hand- icap. If novice shooter shoots lowest score, then the difference between their score and the median score of all other players for that round will be the novice shooter’s handicap for the remainder of the game. If novice shooter does not shoot lowest score, then no handicap will be given.
10. The game is over when the ammo runs out.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby travis k on Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:22 am

11. .... or someone dies.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby travis k on Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:25 am

12. Could technically run out of ammo WHILE dying and be declared super champion on head stone.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Redline on Sat Nov 25, 2017 2:06 am

no handicap will be given
unless they become handicapped due to drunken gun play
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby total_douche on Sat Nov 25, 2017 1:46 pm

Oh, yeah, now that I think about it, some personal realizations made me feel really disconnected from reality, too:

1.) Realizing that my mom is somewhere on the personality disorder spectrum and probably never really gave a shit about me or anyone else

2.) Realizing that I wasn't alone when I considered what I would later learn were social constructions; realizing that I am fairly postmodernist, and that most people will never understand what that means, and that it will make life extraordinarily difficult

3.) Realizing that my position as a pragmatic libertarian and pragmatic capitalist in actuality makes me a socialist

Imagine watching an episode of DBZ, where one of the dudes is floating in midair and spinning around, that's sort of what it feels like. Just kind of floating, suspended above reality, almost seeing it like a show on a stage; cables, curtains, lights, catwalks. Ordinarily, things that other people consider surreal are just events to me, so when something has this dissociative effect on me, it's usually the closest thing I can relate.
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Janeway on Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:18 pm

i used to dust for fingerprints and compare santa's signature with my parent's bills signatures like "i just dont know, or..."

not knowing the truth is like, omg

knowing the truth is like omg you guys! ignorance may be bliss but ultimate truth is the greatest joke of the universe, side splitting hilarious when you get past the pain
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby Seby on Sat Nov 25, 2017 8:45 pm

Boombats wrote:Can I just say that based on the rest of his post, Seby has an insanely interesting life?


It is boring on rare occasions!
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Re: Most bizarre/surreal moments of your life

Postby first2letters on Sat Nov 25, 2017 9:11 pm

Another weird thing I did once is drive 3/4 of Helmet through downtown Cleveland in my Geo Metro. We were heading from their opening gig for Marilyn Manson to an after-party at some industrial club whose name I can't recall. Page Hamilton was already there, so he did not ride in my car. The guys were really nice, and not bothered by having to squeeze into a clown car with no air-conditioning to go meet up with the frontman of their band.
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