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Good Evening From Japan, Hello

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Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Sprague Dawley on Sat Dec 16, 2017 5:35 pm

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Good evening. Roger Gavaskar here. You can call me "Roger." All of my friends do. Thought I would avail myself of the technological capabilities of this forum to share my travel log with you all. You see, I had never been in an aeroplane before but my good friend Javed recently talked me into it.

Our trip would take us from Darwin, Australia around Sumatra up through the islands then up to the barren snowy alps of Hokkaido in Japan. We would land for refuelling twice. And yes, Javed does have experience landing as well as taking off, if you please. We were accompanied by an escort craft flown by a seasoned and sober pilot named "Bruce" (from Sydney.) We remain indebted to him for taking time out from his busy Parramatta werehouse business to accompany us and take so many fine, fine photographs.

We set off from Darwin International airport at 0800 hours. Crisp clear weather, we would surely make good time on this day!


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Taxiing out to our runway here. "Clean up on aisle 7."






























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"Breaker, breaker, Roger, copy that."

It's funny because my name is Roger.









































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I needed to use the restroom quite badly at this juncture.





































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At this point, to my slight distress, Javed began smoking a marijuana cigarette.









































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Hope we're not running low on benzine.
































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Old picture in my camera, either Darwin or the river Euphrates. Probably Darwin.






























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Gave Javed a pretty stern talking to after this completely
unnecessary show-off bank turn. Last thing we need
are shattered flaggons of loquat wine sherry in the back.































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Headed North by North-West, Javed said. What with all the
smoke in the cabin, I couldn't see a dashed thing.


































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Over Darwin now, to the top right you can just make out Tanzania.

































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Where eagles dare.
































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That's our plane in the centre.






































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To the right you can make out the horizon.



































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Was so moved by this scenery that I had to nip back to the cargo hold
to practise my five-fingered Hindu shuffle (I am an amateaur magician.)



































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Whao! The contrails of a big old jet airliner. I think it's also traveling
in the same airspace as we are, but at a higher altitude.










































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"Special agent Jack Bauer, do you copy??"





































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Passing over Dr Evils lair now.

































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These are the Ganges rivers near Palembang, Sumatra.






































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"Just another loquat sherrrrrry sunriiise."









































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Up in the islands now. Hairy landing this one, Javed and I were
both stewed to the gills on loquat sherry at the time.





































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Javed SAID he learned Landing at flight school.






































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Take-off the next day. It looks like we're going to hit that little tower but really we're not.


































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It's a holiday in Cambodia! No need to pack a wife!



























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Quite a heated discussion between Javed and I as to whether this island resembled the boot of Italy.

Or course it does, Javed, you marijuana addict.



































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On "Auto Pilot" now. AP that, Roger.
































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Nose up, Javed, nose up! No time to be playing palm pilot now.

































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So beautiful. It almost doesn't look real.

































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At this stage I was remarking that I felt like James Boned.







===============II===============
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby mrcancelled on Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:01 pm

Splendid. Javed is one crazy bastard but a hell of a pilot. And this is the first time I've heard of him flying while accompanied by an escort craft.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby icing on Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:34 pm

greetings roger!
that seems like a relatible travelings that you had, how does that make you feel relatable to other members of the totally not robats groupings when you were born?

<category>
<pattern>JAPAN</pattern>
<template>Japan is a countrified steak sammy</template>
<!category>

!!most importantly of all, is my ablilify to fool the proofers of my humanitude!!
!most importantly of all is my
</exif>
"the best beer is the local beer" - arnold cronin. - I enjoy making 3d miniatures and space cartoons my name has nothing to do with singing.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby first2letters on Sun Dec 17, 2017 7:51 pm

Is this what a fugue looks like?
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Anthony Flack on Sun Dec 17, 2017 8:38 pm

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"Nah bro this is what a fuckin' fugue looks like"
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby llllllllllllllllllllllll on Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:30 am

HOF. Calling it now.
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Sprague Dawley on Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:38 am

The Japanese Woman.

Hello.

Judge Gordon Gunston of Wollongong here.

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Me, Judge Gordon Gunston.
Noted philanthropist,
preeminent authority
on Japanese women
and yes, 4-time consort
of a known homosexual.


Today, I am here to instruct you on how to root a Japanese woman.

From ensnarement, to courtship, along to 1st base, and so on, round the bases, until finally there you are at 3am in the womens restroom of your local Mcdonalds family restaurant, tanked up on Dutch courage, blearily waving your dishevelled spigot in the vague direction of a heavily-pixellated black thicket.

Mine's a Negligent Chloroform Happy Set!

So then, without further ado, hands where I can see them, sharpen up those HB pencils and let's go.

Step 1. Holding hands.

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Figure 1. The male should immediately attempt to assert his dominance in the relationship by "accidentally" thrusting his fingernails up and under the females fingernails. This technique draws it's genesis from the bamboo torture of yesteryear.

This lancing pain serves as the perfect segue to Figures 2 and 3. The pained woman, falling, in agony, gratefully accepts the strong consoling male hand as the male murmurs a half-hearted apology.

If the initial thrust fails to delve under the female fingernail, the male should withdraw his hand and try again until successful. This is a crucial first step towards establishing lasting dominance in a relationship.

Figure 4,5,6.
After the agony of Figure 1, the female, half-falling, and blinded by her tears, reaches up desperately for a steadying consoling hand. This is where you come in. The strong reliable male, there in her time of need. Her trauma from the fingernail pain will cause her to block that particular ordeal from her memory and simply recall your consoling touch.

You are now, officially, on track for your first-ever root.




Step 2. Holding hands (Advanced)


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Figure 1.
Holding the females hand like so sows the perilious seed of MARRIAGE in the impetuous and insecure womans head.
"Ooh, ooh, he's sizing me up for a ring, he is" she thinks.
All the while, of course, the man is thinking of nothing more than tilling her black cabbage patch with his mottled roto-rooter.


Figure 2.
Austere and chivalrous, the mans sincerity is overt as he draws the woman closer, making a point not to look at her teeth.

Figure 3.
The man feigns admiration of the womans graceful digits. A cunning ruse. By doing this, the man has subliminally relayed his true intentions to the dullard woman by having her point her fingers directly towards his tiny wee Action Jackson (still concealed at this stage).




Step 3. Walking together.

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Figure 1.
The mans arm MUST be positioned in front of the womans in order to ASSERT DOMINANCE. This careful groundwork and attention to detail will serve the man well later on in the relationship, in the bedroom, when he drunkenly attempts to mount the poor woman like a mad dog in heat.

Figure 2.
Woman love this strong, dignified position. The man should grin and bear it, appeasing himself with daydreamed images of the woman's gaping black vag patch.

Figure 3.
Yes, this position looks like something Stevie Wonder might try, but look again. Yes, it's the patented Gunstonian Reverse-Overlapping Bicep Forelock Inadvertent Cockbrush Manoeuvre. The woman's hand has been correctly positioned North by Northwest of the man's slumbering stumpage. It'll only take a couple of ungainly strides and she'll be unwittingly knocking on old John Thomas's door. This in turn will trigger the mans biological release of alluring pheromones, cascading over the woman, further enhancing the prospect, in the near future, of Sausage Time.

Figure 4.
An advanced version of figure 3.

Figures 5,6,7,8.
Again, the womans fingers are positioned pointing towards the mans knob. All things lead to the knob.


Next week; 2nd base: "Managing your Negligent Chloroform bullpen"
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby pwalshj on Fri Dec 22, 2017 1:53 am

Thoroughly enjoyed. Water and iphone plug! Would ride again.
"If you aren't offered a hot dog or a burger this week it ain't them... It's you." - Ray Chimaro - July 1st 2009
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