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Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby strangeone on Mon Jan 22, 2018 6:51 pm

I'm going to add one more, my all time #1 shithole dive bar - Johnnie's Pier 69 on 73rd and Western. By the way, Western Ave, being the longest street in the city, probably has the most shithole dive bars (ok, maybe Halsted) of any street in the country, and who knows, maybe the world. We here in Chicago are very fortunate.

This was a place that was converted from a shitty wood frame house, late 1800's or early 1900's. Made into a bar in the mid-40's. My father used to go there and rev it up with his buddies in the 50's and 60's. (he lived with my grandparents at 7210 S. Western) Used to bring me there sometimes when I was a kid. All the wild fucks in the neighborhood went there, gearheads, bikers, bums, drunkards, general criminal types and the like. I of course started going there as soon as I turned 21. Went there one evening, fairly crowded, mostly bikers (at least a dozen bikes out in front) and luckily got a seat at the bar. Turned to my right, and there was a biker bitch sittin' on the footrest, blowin' her man right there while he was seated at the bar. Nobody seemed to mind, even the bartender. I thought, wow.

Anyway, here's my claim to fame there: Went there one night mid-week after I got off work. (second shift at Litton Precision Gear, 4545 S. Western Blvd.) First I went to the shithole right across the street from work, Jeanette's - pounded down a few, nothing happening there. Went down to Johnnie's. It was about midnight. Nobody in there except the bartender and one guy. Now this guy was a big motherfucker, built like a brick shithouse. And he was fucked up, head bobbin' up and down, in and out of consciousness. Figured fuck it, I'll have one and leave. Sat down far off to right of this guy. Now they had only one TV, of course, and it was at the left end of the bar. So I'm sittin' there having my beer, looking at the TV, minding my own business, when this guy turns to me and yells "quit lookin' at me, faggot". I didn't say anything, bartender tells him to calm down. 5 minutes later, same thing - "quit lookin' at me, faggot" I said, "I ain't lookin' at you, dude, I'm lookin' at the fuckin' TV". Bartender says, "Mike, one more time and you're outta here" This Mike guy says, "Oh yeah, you think you can throw me out?" I said, don't worry, I'm outta here, I just gotta take a piss. The john was down at the end of the place, past the pool table. I got out of the john, grabbed a pool stick, and hit this motherfucker as hard as I could across the back of his neck. Broke the stick. Down and out. Bartender says, "He deserved that, but now you gotta drag him outta here and I ain't helping you" I said no problem. Dragged him out to the curb, laid him half on the street. He started moaning a little, I took off and got the fuck outta there.
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby yard barf on Mon Jan 22, 2018 9:18 pm

El Protoolio wrote: Rothschilds on Chicago near Ashland.

I lived across the street from Rothschilds in 1997. That was a wild, trashy crowd. Is it still around? Lots of live kill chicken places on that strip back then. Boy, did they stink in the summer.
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby Tommy on Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:39 pm

yard barf wrote:
Tommy wrote:L&L was in the rotation for me for about a decade from '95-'05. Was known to be frequented by both Gacy AND Dahmer in their times.


Jesus, no kidding? I went there a lot too. Great bar.


Yep, they were there due to the close proximity to Boy's Town.

El Protoolio wrote:I love the shitty old Chicago tap rooms. There used to be two Cut Rates on Division in Wicker Park. Cut Rate on one side and Cut Rate RITE on the other. I think the one on the north side of the street is gone but their mixed drinks were super fucking strong. Basically whatever booze plus a splash of mixer. And cheap. Holy crap.


There's a fucked up story about Cut Rate Rite and a machete. Oh yes! Here it is: http://articles.chicagotribune.com/1997-03-23/news/9703230328_1_machete-liquor-store-and-bar-west-side
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby jimmy two hands on Tue Jan 23, 2018 12:42 pm

Hangovers on Pulaski just north of Milwaukee is a nice shithole bar. Only been there a few times, but worth it for the sign alone.
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby emerge on Tue Jan 30, 2018 9:26 pm

jimmy two hands wrote:Hangovers on Pulaski just north of Milwaukee is a nice shithole bar. Only been there a few times, but worth it for the sign alone.
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I'm a fan of "Teddy Bear Lounge" a block south on the other side of Pulaski. Haven't been in a few years though. Nice regulars and surprisingly they had Bells.
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby scrotescape on Tue Jan 30, 2018 10:07 pm

Been to hangovers, too many people I knee from the neighborhood for me to consider it a ahithole at the time. But in retrospect...

North side of division cut rate was a hoot--
Not that I stuck around long, but that place came to mind immediately.
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Re: Best 'shithole' dive bars in Chicagoland

Postby numberthirty on Tue Jan 30, 2018 11:46 pm

yard barf wrote:
Tommy wrote:L&L was in the rotation for me for about a decade from '95-'05. Was known to be frequented by both Gacy AND Dahmer in their times.


Jesus, no kidding? I went there a lot too. Great bar. That intersection is unrecognizable now with the new condo monstrosity where Punkin' Donuts used to be.


I'd Imagine that place has a lot of overlap for folks in a certain age range. It was(and probably still is) a headache free way to get a drink.

It seems like it was a place you could hit if shows at the old Bottom Lounge wrapped up early.
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