Little details from your day

[B_M_L]

While looking for baby products on Amazon today I can accross this buyer uploaded image -



I'm guessing this little guy is pretty stoked with the product... or terrified, I can't work out which just now.

[dontfeartheringo]

"HELLRIDE", the first release from This Deadly Rhod/Weapon Combo

Will buy.

[Boombats]

Deadly Rhod's Butt Spear Cumbo

thus freeing up your hands for fags, sandwiches and bestiality

[Ty Webb]

"HELLRIDE", the first release from This Deadly Rhod/Weapon Combo

Will buy.

Featuring the hit single "Brakes Are For Pussies".

[tbone]

The woman who only uses the elevators and plays country pop radio has also done the following today:

- Worn so much perfume I can smell it on the other side of a cubicle wall
- Just got off the phone with her adult son who apparently informed her he was going to clean his room
- Has made the joke to her manager at least 20 times that she will be OK if they do not move her phone to her new desk
- Is wearing a very America-themed sweatshirt with an airbrushed flag and random non-sequitors like a set of greek columns with "COMMUNITY" written underneath them.
- Called the local corner pantry store by her house the "Pakistani Pantry" but clarified that they are nice people there.

[jimmy two hands]

I think I am getting truly sick for the first time since I quit smoking. Thought it was allergies at first, but it's turned into something more insidious. I used to get this all the time and just soldier on, but it's wiping me out. I feel like my lungs are full of sandpaper.

Yup, it was not allergies but some form of illness. I woke up this morning and sounded like the offspring of Sly Stallone and a demonic bullfrog. Called in sick. It was a good idea.

[a. james]

I reached 150 pages of the first draft of the novel. I'm gonna pen a quick ending, like tomorrow.

Oh, it'll be crap. The first draft is. Knowing that sort of freed me to write it. I kinda dread going back over it, though I have kind of a loose plan as to how I'll work in future drafts.

Still, my goal was at least 150 pages, single spaced, 12 pt. Times New Roman. So it is, at least, a novel length work.

Only it's not about Hamlet.

Congratulations!


The biggest victory is finishing the first draft. When you come back to it in a few weeks, objectively...it'll open up a whole new perspective on the work.

i've mentioned this:

someone broke into my car and stole half of a novel i had, as well as a few other projects. a pile of writing and all my foreign language dictionaries.

i don't write much anymore.

[tocharian]

...ignores me and my efforts...

...Goes to look at guitars on the internet or mod his little guitar forum or watch football or whatever on his computer...

...I cook food, I MAYBE get, "it's okay," in response...

...I could walk around the house in lingerie and he'd just keep typing about Fenders...

...can't write a song with lyrics in it (despite being a music/audio production major)...

...got home and talked to me for about two minutes before he went into his room, after yelling at me because of a linguistic misunderstanding...

...he doesn't have a soul...

...it's not as if he has taste buds. I mean, I very rarely say I cooked a near perfect meal, but I had....

Then I got upset, and then he went into the same spiel about how I am an embarrassment to him and I do nothing and he does EVERYTHING around the house (*I do wish I'd have kept a chart of how much I do around the house, because apparently all I do is sit on the sofa and watch "CSI"), and how I drank all of his family's booze when I got here (which I did, but because I felt like everyone hated me from the start, and I was trapped in a bedroom alone getting away from them).

Even today when I told him I was leaving, he brought all that up and I can feel it in my gut. He may as well have shot me, 'cept they don't really have guns in England.

...drear, or non-emotive people...

My problem is that I let men in, and then they work at my brain until I am no longer stable, and then when I am weak and cornered they claim it is my fault. And that is pretty much the story of my life with men.

The problem is it sounds like your husband is ASD. From what you've described he's rigid, rule-bound, more interested in things than people, emotionally tone-deaf and self-isolating. And you guys are newly married.

Maybe I'm a little over-confident in my psychic abilities, but I'm guessing he rationalizes saying insensitive and offensive things on the grounds that they're true.

I know we're not best buds but your husband really sound like he has Asperger traits. Or he's OCPD or schizoid, possibly. Just sayin' cuz it's harder to stay mad at people for things they can't help.

[Jodi S.]

You know when you knock a glass bottle off of your stove top, on to your kitchen floor made of porcelain tile?

When it hits the tile, it bounces, and you think "Hey! It bounced! I won't have to clean up shards of glass tonight!"

Then it hits the tile again, and shatters. No more bouncing for this bottle.

At least it was empty.

[Ty Webb]

I swear, our kitchen floor tile is made of adamantium and hand grenades. Everything I've ever dropped on it has exploded like a fucking firecracker, and I've found shrapnel in entirely different rooms.

[Maurice]

The tile kitchen floor is one of those things that seems like a good idea until you have to live with it for a while.

[Dave N.]

Went outside to check on the tomatoes and peppers. I noticed a blue starling egg laying in the grass next to the garden, and called my daughter over to take a look. I picked it up and we studied it for a moment. There was a shrill sound coming from above us, like a fleet of model airplanes. I looked up and saw a swarm of honeybees, thousands of them, flying about ten feet above us. I pointed them out to Audrey. She watched them pass, and then she asked to see the egg. I gave it to her. "I guess there's nothing we can really do with it," she said, and took the egg to the front porch. A moment later, it was a smear of yolk on wooden planks.

[dontfeartheringo]

The little one and I have been out watching bats the last few nights. Last night, the sun started to go down and she said "Daddy... BATS!" So, now I guess it's a regular thing.

Last night we didn't see a whole lot of bats but we did see a massive toad, which she was desperate to pick up. I tried to explain the whole toad urine, maybe he doesn't want to be picked up, not sure if that's all that good for you thing....

finally gave up and said "*sigh*.... It'll give you warts."

So, that's how this shit starts. Coming soon to a toddler near you: Santa Claus, Easter bunny, tooth fairy. Probably Jesus, too, though that won't be my doing.

[Maurice]

The little one and I have been out watching bats the last few nights. Last night, the sun started to go down and she said "Daddy... BATS!" So, now I guess it's a regular thing.

Outstanding. Bravo!

[dontfeartheringo]

The little one and I have been out watching bats the last few nights. Last night, the sun started to go down and she said "Daddy... BATS!" So, now I guess it's a regular thing.

Outstanding. Bravo!

She threw the air-quotes, though.

[jimmy spako]

The little one and I have been out watching bats the last few nights. Last night, the sun started to go down and she said "Daddy... BATS!" So, now I guess it's a regular thing.

Last night we didn't see a whole lot of bats but we did see a massive toad, which she was desperate to pick up. I tried to explain the whole toad urine, maybe he doesn't want to be picked up, not sure if that's all that good for you thing....

finally gave up and said "*sigh*.... It'll give you warts."

So, that's how this shit starts. Coming soon to a toddler near you: Santa Claus, Easter bunny, tooth fairy. Probably Jesus, too, though that won't be my doing.

wait, wait, hold up: what little one?
did i miss something while i was out?
please tell me what i think i missed, because that would be awesome news.

[Eugenius]

Probably Jesus, too, though that won't be my doing.

Jesus totally gives you warts!

[davesec]

there's a nun who doesn't speak english just hanging around in the office. she said "i need.. boss..", and my boss is actually in today, but he is also on the phone talking about a stray cat or something. he's been on the phone for like 40 minutes now, and the nun won't sit down and she's just standing there smiling weakly. god dammit!!

[dontfeartheringo]

The little one and I have been out watching bats the last few nights. Last night, the sun started to go down and she said "Daddy... BATS!" So, now I guess it's a regular thing.

Last night we didn't see a whole lot of bats but we did see a massive toad, which she was desperate to pick up. I tried to explain the whole toad urine, maybe he doesn't want to be picked up, not sure if that's all that good for you thing....

finally gave up and said "*sigh*.... It'll give you warts."

So, that's how this shit starts. Coming soon to a toddler near you: Santa Claus, Easter bunny, tooth fairy. Probably Jesus, too, though that won't be my doing.

wait, wait, hold up: what little one?
did i miss something while i was out?
please tell me what i think i missed, because that would be awesome news.

I've been all over the dadness thread with this, but I keep forgetting that probably most of you don't read it. Long story short: We've taken custody of a two-year-old little girl who we are hoping to adopt. We might have her for two weeks or 17 years. It's impossible to say right now. Right now we're foster parents.

What's remarkable is how she's adapted to having a stable family life. My wife and I are 'mommy and daddy' in a big way.

So far, I have learned-

I am going to be going to the grocery store a LOT more often.

There are strong arguments for having a dishwasher.

Having a clean house before going to bed starts the next day off a little saner.

I will keep everyone updated as things develop.

[Luzwei]

We might have her for two weeks or 17 years. It's impossible to say right now. Right now we're foster parents.

Ok, that can't be true. Where is the certainty then? What, her mother can change her mind in about a year and she goes away?