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Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

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Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby hellholiday on Fri Jul 28, 2017 11:05 am

The science or the fiction with these new Star Wars flicks... which is worse?

Both are slaves to the original and both suffer because of it. The search for the Death Star plans was a perfect example at how terrible each has become. Every part of the library installation was laughable while their situation was super dull. Don't get me started on having to untangle coaxial cable as a plot point.

Before I could gloss over manned sentry towers on the ground casting a watchful eye on galaxy spanning space ships flying by but now it just looks ridiculous.

It was shockingly grim. Leia smiling at the end made it even more so.

Crap.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Sun Feb 18, 2018 12:51 am

spoilers:

only halfway through but i didn’t get saggy rear-a’s whole thing... he’s bad then good then bad then good then dead got no reason, seems most star was deaths are people laying down to die willingly (yoda, padme)

and yeah cp30 is supposed to be some computer a slave kid built only for his half brother to inherit him later and this robot doesn’t remember in his memory bank living in the exact same house on the same double moon planet? uncle owen has no use for him cause the thing was obvi built for royalty

now if anakin has built him after meeting padme as some kinda royal i’ve-always-loved-her gift or something, that’s just the tiniest bit more believeable, but really gadgets like 3po are like shiny golden iPhones on a planet like tatooine, where’d he get the gold materials and knowledge of all the languages and... just not believable

that’s why rey is like, why would she at first tell bb8 to take a hike, he’d just get captured anywhere he went, these sand planets value gadgets too much and she just goes to the food cart like nobody’s gonna fight her for it?

and i don’t buy rey as a fighter at all, zero jedi training and scrawny arms is just too easily overpowered, not realistic at all. at least gyn erso learned not to sit around waiting for your parents who are never coming back and became a real fighter.

i’ll allow that rey could fly the millenial falcon but that’s only because duh, that’s literally the only thing to do on sand planets is runaround whining with your friends about power converters so you can fly and try to become pilots... her not wanting to leave the planet and not having friends makes her survival story just so incredibly unlikely, i really don’t feel like the force is strong within her at all, esp with zero training and infact rejecting the idea when the orange lady tried to pretend to be yoda and explain the force alittle... gyn erso has more force coaching from the 2 seconds her mom gave her a jedi necklace than rey did... whats she been doing on that planet except eating moldy bread? why is she the one? and why is luke standing around not training anything? just on a solo rendezvous like the cause doesn’t matter letting his sister be a general while he just stands around on a hill heartbroken about losing his love ben wan? it’s his fault han loses his life to his dumbass kid, kylo ren has parents that love him and zero reason to be on the dark side, vader was forced onto the dark side because he was a slave his whole life having to call that crazy old wizard his master and never ever be allowed to advance or become jedi even though he’s the one to save the galaxy? nice botch job jedis, you let him go criminally insane by the way of the sword, killin younglings is awful but he’s killed children before after he couldn’t take his slave mother dying after he left her to become a jedi and still wasn’t made one. he had no choice but to go dark side for acceptance and advancement and to be a me to feel the extent of his power.

they just taught vader how to chop hands and live like a cowboy and never be on their equal level, he still cried feeling how bad his actions were after the youngling incident, and all ben wan can do is chop him and let him fry like bacon and walk away and let his kid fall in love with him years later. its not up to the jedis to not tell the one that immortality is possible cause qui gong knew it and then they let padme and vader suffer and then tell ben wan "oh ps, immortality"? how disappointing of the jedi counsel, clearly the wrong wizard from jurassic park was on the counsel cause sam neil who was merlin and saved his own wife nimue with immortality would’ve taught it to ani, and if qui gong didn’t die he would’ve taught it to anakin too

nimue rhymes with padme dies...
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merlin aka the right sam wizard from jurassic park brings forth youthful immortality and saves the day and galaxy, a doi
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ben wan is a swindler, he loved qui gong and got replaced by anakin and was prob so seethingly jealous he never let him advance, just takes the missions anakin should’ve been on and pushed him into politics where he didn’t belong and makes him call him master forever before dividing up his kids and living creepily too close to his newborn son so luke can grow up and call out for him lovingly every time he’s dying on hoth or hanging from some ship like “beeeen, beeeeeen” if I were Vader and i saw my son a padwan learner calling out to ben wan I’d chop his master ass too, after having fried him like bacon and never making him jedi ben wan deserves it and ben wan just acts like... he did some crazy old wizard trick and took off with the money it’s so obvi

he offered waaay too much to han for a ride on the falcon although we never see the money handed off, instead im sure ben wan still had the money on him which is why when everyone’s like okay we landed on Death Star wtf do we do now? you just see Ben wan like “listen im gonna take off...”

then he says all this bull about truth being different realities when there’s only one kinda truth, not this wizard spinning of maybe the dads a spice farmer and every other bull he told the kid and failed to mention the frying his dad like bacon. i don’t think Ben wan is dead, i think he’s on some island with all that money and the “ghost" we see s just another fancy blue jedi video... that’s why luke is on some island , he’s crying looking for Ben wan.

when will there ever be star peace? why can’t jedis use the force when they enter a bar instead of chopping someone every single time? the rebel alliance and leaders like Leia are the ones who are the greatest hope, not these crazy old wizards.
Last edited by Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Sun Feb 18, 2018 1:02 am

^future edit, makes enough sense for now. but rey is not a new hope, Luke couldn’t get it done and they pretty much just ruined their chance... if the matrix blew off keanu and kept him living in the matrix how could that ever have revelationed? with neo’s whiny kid’s scrawny protégé? i need a newer new hope for the galaxy?

but i guess this was all a long long time ago and the future is the diplomacy of star trek... maybe eventually star wars will form a federation instead of living like cowboy samurais and nazi politics, blowing up planets before they’re even capable of creating them. excuse me, you don’t just blast moons with being able to make more heavenly bodies.

where’s all the women? the girls just act like a dude could’ve played the role, but more true female influence is needed, not one guys idea of space after another... it’s women that will create the lifestar and build new moons
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Sun Feb 18, 2018 2:36 pm

Ben wan is all “hey Han, i need a ride” and han thinks to himself these spoiled wizard shmoes I’ll charge $2,000 and Ben wants like “how about $17 thousand “ and han smiles like wtf kinda dumb deal is this?

but it’s a front, cause Ben wan just secures the kid like okay we got our ride we just gotta come up with the doe and Luke is all omg i don’t have any cash I’m a slave pretty much and ben wan says ooo don’t worry, we’ll sell your car for you and ill hold onto the cold cash until I can break away from you minute we reach the Death Star, just gotta see the look on your dads mask when he sees you call me master and then fake my death and find some island system to retire to
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby kokorodoko on Sun Feb 18, 2018 6:08 pm

Reading the last page I have to ride to the defense of Return of the Jedi. It's the best movie. Ewoks are the coolest. People are like "bla bla it's kids' stuff". Yeah, the movies are made for kids, silly.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Sun Feb 18, 2018 6:43 pm

uhh... does anyone have the balls to comment on the truth of what ive laid out?
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Boombats on Sun Feb 18, 2018 8:36 pm

emmanuelle cunt wrote:Mehish NC.

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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:19 am

spoiler alert: they’re never gonna stop making star wars’s, just like they’re never gonna stop making fast and furious’s... so then the movies will combine eventually

star furious
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:48 am

star furious would be the ultimate dude explosion in moviegoing history

i wanna star in it, and make sure they don’t hologram paul walker v or tupac or anything lame like that
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:43 am

also, so the Empire knew there could be an intentionally made flaw in the design of the Death Star and that the Rebellion could be on it even before "New Hope" and still years later, with the knowledge of the events from "New Hope", they put the same flaw in the Biggerer Death Star in "TFA", just this time it wasn't intentional? And in the Just Slightly Biggerer Death Star "ROTJ". I guess they just enjoy seeing the fireworks.


Every film that extends the Star Wars story opens up new ways for it to make no sense. Don't even talk about the third act of Force Awakens. It's angering, like you say. Not angering because I give a crap about Star Wars in any way, just the kind of anger you get when something is made shitty for no reason.

I don't think the Return of the Jedi Death Star had the flaw though. It's been a very long time since I saw it but the point was that the new Death Star was only half-finished. They disabled its shield and then flew right inside it and fucked up its energy core.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:52 am

The C3P0 thing - yes, the Phantom Menace is terrible and makes no sense. It makes no sense that Anakin built C3P0. He's a royal protocol droid FFS.

Now I didn't watch the ones that came after because that one stunk so much. But is there any particular reason why Darth Vader couldn't have easily located his missing son, considering he was living on his home planet with his uncle and aunt and using his real name?
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby emmanuelle cunt on Tue Feb 20, 2018 12:33 pm

I have no idea. Maybe he thought he was dead and only learned about his existence by his I'm-his-dad-force-radar, like "the force is strong with this one?


I rewatched "Rouge One" with friends recently, solely focusing on whether huge parts of the film were completely irrelevant to the plot going forward and whether everything about the third act, like running around shooting hoping lots of things will happen at the same time made as little sense as I remembered. Yup. The scene when Death Star is used for the first time still looked superb, so there's that.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby jimmy two hands on Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:04 pm

Anthony Flack wrote:Now I didn't watch the ones that came after because that one stunk so much. But is there any particular reason why Darth Vader couldn't have easily located his missing son, considering he was living on his home planet with his uncle and aunt and using his real name?


Vader didn't have any desire to visit his home planet and see his step brother after going dark and becoming enforcer for the Emperor. He had too much shit to do. Also this is ham-handedly explained in the special edition of Empire, when Vader and Palpatine sense a disturbance in the Force after Luke begins his training. Lucas changed it so the Emperor has the same facial deformities as in Jedi and has him say "I have reason to believe this is Anakin's kid" and Vader is like, "no way that's not possible, but if you say so I guess I do have a son" even though when they locate the base on Hoth earlier in the film Vader still says "that's where Skywalker is hiding". Before Lucas dicked around with everything in the special editions, there was an expanded universe book or comic or something in the '90s explaining how Vader found out he had a kid, and it involved Boba Fett or some other bounty hunter going to Tatooine and doing some snooping around on behalf of Vader and then reporting it to him, and that's why the original version of Empire had Vader already knowing about this shit.

What I really want to know is why Uncle Owen didn't remember C3PO when he had been living with them on Tatooine before Anakin shows up and takes him away in Episode II. Hell, dude probably installed the gold panels on his prissy ass to begin with and had him dealing with the binary programming of moisture evaporators all that time and then says he doesn't need a protocol droid when his same protocol droid shows up on his doorstep 20 years later? And why did they let Anakin take 3PO away in the first place? A jedi doesn't need a protocol droid, at least not any more than a moisture farmer who's putting him to some kind of use. and if a jedi really needed a protocol droid, he could probably check one out from the droid pool at the office, it's not like he's a high ranking member of the galactic government's security force or anything. None of this shit really matters, but I have thoughts about it anyway.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Anthony Flack on Tue Feb 20, 2018 4:35 pm

All good points.

Like I say, every time they make a new movie they fuck up other parts of the story that little bit more. It was mental for Lucas to decide to have Anakin build C3PO in the first place, considering how much it interferes with plot continuity, and how it's a pointless dumb idea that made everybody groan anyway. Plus, you know, the whole basis of C3PO's character is that he's a cosseted royal protocol droid with no outside experience; that's his whole deal.

None of it matters, no, but I still like to see people being competent at their job. I mean people get paid good money to come up with this shit.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Thu Feb 22, 2018 9:17 am

it’s astounding that luke, who was never a padwan learner and infact ditches out halfway through jedi training to go play with his friends who needed him cause they got in trouble, that they made this kid a jedi, when we all know he puts the ‘luke’ in ‘lukewarm’

i guess that’s all ani had to do to become a jedi, totally blow them off and just have them make you jedi anyway.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Wed Feb 28, 2018 4:16 pm

these nerd shmoes begin to touch on some of what ive laid out

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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby El Protoolio on Wed Feb 28, 2018 7:15 pm

The Jedi are total failures.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby DregsInTheCrowd on Wed Feb 28, 2018 8:30 pm

Janeway wrote:these nerd shmoes begin to touch on some of what ive laid out

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Yeeeaaah, this guy's videos are terrific. Whether intentional or not, the Jedi were portrayed as narcissistic idiots, and I love The Last Jedi all the more for acknowledging this.
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Janeway on Thu Mar 01, 2018 12:34 pm

^i think lucas did a great job making vader's backstory, i always believed he was good dude since the original movies, and to kinda have a guy whos both good and bad and how he got to the dark side, it couldve been some total bull like "vader was born an evil seed..." or whatever

it seems more like emotion is what makes anakin "the one" because he's more evolved, whenever he shuns emotion hes using all his strength and it seeps out into tears when hes not allowed to grieve or feel love...thats like, insane.

its this fake rich white society idea of letting everything be blasé, you just speak softly like calm blue-eyed white british man and everyone seems to think you know what you're talking about and you win folks over, "the force" is no more than charming people at face value, which is why you act gentlemanly and never show emotion, just let your demeanor be your credit card in life and others will listen to your blind authority


if anakin had gone to x-men school things would be different, the instructors there know how to teach beings more advanced than themselves, you dont just tell storm "suppress your feeling to create weather systems" a doi, you let her explore her powers and then teach her to use them for good, theres always an adolescent stage where im sure some guy broke up with storm and she made a buncha hurricanes before she got over it, but then you get wise and learn and with the right peaceful direction these powerful beings wind up on the light side of the force, the jedi way made it like, impossible

i criticize the jedis and the events alot, but i think star wars is overall a great story with a bunch of cool shit, although i do think anything grand or spectacular is accidental on lucas's part, i think hes just a nerd who wanted to make cool things and attach merchandise profit on it and didnt know the kind of religion it would ultimately become and i dont think he can take genius credit, same as herman melville who admitted not knowing "old man and the sea" was an epic until his audience told his so, he never meant any allusions to god or any of the fancy stuff people found within it
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Re: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

Postby Parbuckle on Thu Mar 01, 2018 1:00 pm

^^I don't know moby dick about Star Wars, but I DO know that Herman Melville can take no credit for "The Old Man and the Sea".
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