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Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

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Van Halen vs. Kiss

Van Halen
69
71%
Kiss
28
29%
 
Total votes : 97

Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby placeholder on Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:53 pm

Not that I don't know Van Halen's going to win even though they're garbage.

Kiss gets my vote by a mile. Their records are better and their live show is funnier. I think Van Halen is intolerable across the board.

For kicks:

Paul Stanley vs. David Lee Roth, or Sammy Hagar, or Bob Extreme - David Lee Roth is wholly nauseating, and they managed to replace him with two more irritating dudes. Paul Stanley, I don't need to say anything about. His stage banter is better than Roth's (and everybody's), and he at least pretends to play a guitar onstage.

Gene Simmons vs. Michael Anthony - Who isn't preferable to Michael Anthony? Van Halen doesn't even want him in the band anymore. Gene Simmons is a despicable heel, but he's funny. He spits fake blood.

Ace Frehley vs. Eddie Van Halen - If you think Ace Frehley doesn't have the flash and chops to compete with EVH, please note that Vinnie Vincent, Mark St. John, and Bruce Kulick are fully capable of doing a bunch of irritating, showoffy shredding exactly like EVH. Also, EVH didn't fire rockets out of his guitar.

Peter Criss vs. Alex Van Halen - Umm...Eric Carr was good!

Evidently, Gene Simmons claims to have "discovered" VH and talked EVH out of joining Kiss as Ace Frehley's replacement. It probably would have been better if he had joined Kiss because the world likely would have been spared Van Halen and Kiss's music wouldn't have been any better or worse with his goofy fretboard pyrotechnics.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Red Square on Thu Jul 02, 2009 3:57 pm

i'm gonna go with the DLR-era Van Halen since i grew up on them and have fond memories from that period...
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby RSMurphy on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:02 pm

Yesterday I listened to a really gross interview with Gene Simmons on NPR. Even with this shitbag in KISS they still win. I don't like Van Halen.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Minotaur029 on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:08 pm

Van Halen wrote "Jump".

It's Van Halen.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby krakabash on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:12 pm

Oh for the days when rock n roll was about making a horny annoying racket and being a crazy greedy shitbag while doing it.
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KISS wrote "Do You Love Me", "I Love It Loud", "Tears Are Fallin", and "Beth", so its gotta be KISS.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby enframed on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:25 pm

Van Halen. Even as a kid I never liked KISS.

edit: only DLR VH. Fuck Hagar VH.
Last edited by enframed on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:40 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Evin Relocation on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:33 pm

I don't know if I can be friends with people that can't appreciate the first few Van Halen albums.

Van Halen, all the way.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby owen on Thu Jul 02, 2009 4:46 pm

enframed wrote:Van Halen. Even as a kid I never liked KISS.

edit: only DLR VH. Fuck Hagar VH.


+1

also DLR's "Crazy From the Heat" is such a stupid fun read.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby SecondEdition on Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:07 pm

Umm...fuck.

Van Halen were obviously more consistent, and made many better albums, but Alive! is, in its way, an embodiment of everything popular culture in the '70's was. It's completely cheesy, panderingly crass, wholeheartedly stupid and totally brilliant. Plus, you gotta give it up for Ace. (Waits for the inevitable joke about giving it up for Anya.)

I'm still voting for Van Halen, but I listen to Alive! much more often than I do to Van Halen. Fair Warning is a great album, though, and probably my favorite Van Halen album.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby enframed on Thu Jul 02, 2009 6:29 pm

SecondEdition wrote:Umm...fuck.

Van Halen were obviously more consistent, and made many better albums, but Alive! is, in its way, an embodiment of everything popular culture in the '70's was. It's completely cheesy, panderingly crass, wholeheartedly stupid and totally brilliant.


You just described VH.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby numberthirty on Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:18 pm

Preface: Kiss are like AC/DC. While what they do is not for everyone, they are the best at what each of the two bands do. They are each the Wolverine of rock in that sense.

However, Van Halen are the idiot savants of rock.

Diamond Dave looked like a complete moron. Alex Van Halen looked like the missing link.
Michael Anthony looked like he should be working the door at a strip club. Eddie Van Halen was like Tom Scholz minus the brains.

No way they should have been as awe-inspiring as they were.

The backward/gong insanity of "Tora,Tora". The crazy breakdown of "Everybody Wants Some!" The MacGuyver effects/volume knob work on "Cathedral" Everything about the songs: "Woman in Love", "Little Guitars", "In a Simple Ryhme", "Could This Be Magic", and "Secrets".

The Van Halen brother's dad even show up to play brillianly on "Big Bad Bill(Is Sweet William Now).

That's before you even talk about Fair Warning. It's fantavanarasmic!

Against all odds, those four goofball egomaniacs made some of the most amazing music of all times.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby SecondEdition on Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:39 pm

enframed wrote:
SecondEdition wrote:Umm...fuck.

Van Halen were obviously more consistent, and made many better albums, but Alive! is, in its way, an embodiment of everything popular culture in the '70's was. It's completely cheesy, panderingly crass, wholeheartedly stupid and totally brilliant.


You just described VH.


I never even thought of that, but you are so right. The entire poll makes sense now.

Since Van Halen managed to maintain that level of quality for six albums, they get the nod.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Marsupialized on Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:47 pm

Both these bands are terrible.
Van Halen were at least entertainingly terrible with DLR.
Kiss makes me want to vomit every time I see or hear anything about them. Just unpleasent. Not funny, not cool, nothing. Just gross.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby J. Burns on Thu Jul 02, 2009 7:50 pm

At the end of the day, Alex Van Halen is a much better drummer. Peter Criss still plays drums like a pussy.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby LBx on Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:32 pm

Van Halen wrote "Ain't Talkin' 'bout Love".

It's Van Halen.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby D./Eksvplot on Thu Jul 02, 2009 9:41 pm

Marsupialized wrote:Both these bands are terrible.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby DrAwkward on Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:06 pm

AhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhSHIT. This is so tough.

Both bands have probably produced an equal number of great songs, but it took KISS way more albums to do it. Wait, i'm looking at their discographies...VH had 6 studio albums with DLR, in which they produced "Runnin' With the Devil," "Jamie's Cryin," "Unchained," "Everybody Wants Some," "Jump," "Panama," and "Hot For Teacher," and i'm sorry, but those are all great. KISS had, let's say, ugh...7 studio albums before shit started falling completely apart, but they managed to come up with a few good songs after that...so you've got "Deuce," "Black Diamond," "Strutter," "Rock and Roll All Nite," "Parasite" (that song is SO underrated and the Anthrax version SLAYS), "Cold Gin," nearly all of Destroyer...

Fuck. There it is. Destroyer.

Gotta go with KISS.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Surfrider on Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:08 pm

Strutter, Cold Gin, Going Blind. ORrrrrr, a massive bag of wank? If those are my options then i choose the hottest band in the world.

KISS.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby barndog on Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:26 pm

I liked some early Kiss, but the later stuff was laughable. Same with Van Halen - but I liked more of their stuff.

Van Halen - no waffles.
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Re: Either/Or: Van Halen vs. Kiss

Postby Lonesome Bulldog on Thu Jul 02, 2009 10:30 pm

VH

My name is in the beginning of a Van Halen song. NC
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