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Band: Kiss

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Kiss?

CRAP
148
70%
NOT CRAP
63
30%
 
Total votes : 211

Band: Kiss

Postby placeholder on Fri Nov 21, 2003 12:39 pm

kiss?

i'm going to embarrass myself early on here and say not crap. i guess nothing can really justify that, but i'll try to categorize it. i'll also apologize in advance...

pluses:

- funniest stage banter (and stage show) ever
- very comical in general
- unbelievably asinine groupie lyrics
- played very catchy bubblegum pop from 1973 to 1977
- 'kiss meets the phantom of the park'
- gene simmons caught his hair on fire once
- paul stanley's creepy resemblance to cher

minuses:

- just about everything from 1978 to present, except for the song "i love it loud" and their videos (for comedic value alone)
- kiss fans, what with their 40-sided dice and pewter figurines (see also: fans of rush and they might be giants)
- practically invented the template for cock rock, along with led zeppelin and black sabbath (maybe this should be listed as a "plus"...)
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Re: Band: Kiss

Postby Dylan on Fri Nov 21, 2003 12:52 pm

placeholder wrote:kiss?

pluses:

- funniest stage banter (and stage show) ever
- very comical in general
- unbelievably asinine groupie lyrics
- played very catchy bubblegum pop from 1973 to 1977
- 'kiss meets the phantom of the park'
- gene simmons caught his hair on fire once
- paul stanley's creepy resemblance to cher

minuses:

- just about everything from 1978 to present, except for the song "i love it loud" and their videos (for comedic value alone)
- kiss fans, what with their 40-sided dice and pewter figurines (see also: fans of rush and they might be giants)
- practically invented the template for cock rock, along with led zeppelin and black sabbath (maybe this should be listed as a "plus"...)


That's weird, these are all 'minuses' to me. I think they're super-boring. They elicit absolutely no excitement from me whatsoever and their crass commercialism puts me off even more. Kiss coffins, for fuck's sake. Also, I had a friend in line behind Paul Stanley at a chicken joint who heard him lispily (?) tell the counterman, "And make sure that chicken's juicy". Creepy! I guess you had to hear him tell it...

Anyway, CRAP.
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Postby the Classical on Fri Nov 21, 2003 1:07 pm

worst. rhythm. section. ever. makes r.e.m. sound like the ohio players


pure crap, I don't care what fond memories you have of painting yr face up like a kitty for halloween as a kid. crap
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Postby placeholder on Fri Nov 21, 2003 1:07 pm

see, that thing about the chicken is really comical to me.

i think that fact that they're that crass and business-oriented just adds to their comedic value. and i DO think they had a pop sense that transcended their abject stupidity.
Last edited by placeholder on Wed Jul 15, 2009 3:16 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Miko on Mon Nov 24, 2003 1:11 am

They are bad. BUT... they have provided the world with some great anthems to kill brain cells to.
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Postby Chris Hardings on Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:41 am

without them, there would be nothing to compare good music to.

Kinda like mixing Ramstein with the spice girls.
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Postby Mr. Chimp on Mon Nov 24, 2003 10:47 am

The Shtick '70's:
Makeup and explosions live = not crap
Recorded output '74-'79 = not crap (but close)
worldwide broadcast: not crap
Solo records? Totally not crap in concept. Actual results? Crap. Cool posters.


The Shtick '80's:
No makeup and shit songwriting = crap
Bruce Kulick guitar = not crap
Gene Simmons as the bad guy in "Runaway" = hilarious, crap
"Decline of Western Civilization II" = hilarious, crap.

The Shtick '90's:
Makeup and explosions 1st tour (comeback) = not crap
Peter Criss on drums? = crap
Gene Simmons firebreathing = actually not crap
Ace's exploding and/or rocket-firing guitars = hugely not crap

The Shtick '90's forward:
Makeup and explosions 2nd tour (new album) = total bullshit (crap).
Kiss (Gene Simmons) Marketing/Merchandising strategy = impressively large amounts of crap (band-branded coffins, etc.)


Timeless:

- Being young and in college fried on shrooms and watching "Kiss Meets the Phantom of the Park"

- See the above, but substitute "acid" and "listening to Kiss Alive II totally loud and completely wrecking a bedroom."

Ahh, youth. Also:

- The C/Z tribute record Hard To Believe.

- The Melvins Solo Records.

All of these things notwithstanding, the fact is that

KISS = CRAP

purely for reasons of Paul Stanley.
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Postby q1w2e3r4 on Fri Nov 28, 2003 11:55 am

Crap.

But "Goin' Blind" is a great song (minus the lyrics)...
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KISS

Postby Mayfair on Mon Dec 01, 2003 2:22 am

I LOVED Kiss when I was 10. LOVED them. I had every LP up until Double Platinum (even the 'Originals' LP!) plus a beta copy of the movie "Kiss meets the Phantom". My walls were covered with Kiss posters, mostly from 16 Magazine, I even had a Paul Stanley action figure. Then, luckily, when I was 11 I found and stole my dad's Beatles records, thank gawd! Now when I hear Kiss my pubic hair pulls back into my body and my voice raises an octave.

I hope everyone got to hear the Gene Simmons' interview on Fresh Air with Terry Gross a year or two ago. IT WAS AMAZING! I had no idea what a misogynistic crank he is!

CRAP! CRAP! CRAP!
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Postby placeholder on Mon Dec 01, 2003 10:17 am

...
Last edited by placeholder on Thu Jan 18, 2007 10:01 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby O H Lee on Sun Dec 14, 2003 11:09 pm

In certain social mileus, the obvious stupidity is funny. However, my initial Kiss experience were fans who told Kiss was better than the Sex Pistols cause they were "real musicians" No irony here
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Postby Lazybones on Sun Jul 31, 2005 6:39 pm

Can I vote crap more than once, please?
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Postby connor on Sun Jul 31, 2005 6:45 pm

Kiss defines THE CRAP.

I fucking hate this band. So many Kiss sympathizers on this board...
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Ya'know actual accomplishments.
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Postby glynnisjohns on Sun Jul 31, 2005 6:47 pm

Lazybones wrote:Can I vote crap more than once, please?



1 for me 2 for you (by Proxy.) Kiss is crap.
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Postby Marsupialized on Sun Jul 31, 2005 7:16 pm

The crappiest crap to ever crap out a big crap.
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Postby congleton on Sun Jul 31, 2005 9:50 pm

fuck this band and fuck any world that allows it to remain a band.
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Postby placeholder on Mon Aug 01, 2005 9:39 am

connor wrote:So many Kiss sympathizers on this board...


Yeah. Me and two other people, apparently.
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Postby the seaward on Tue Aug 02, 2005 6:04 am

Sure, the members of the band are douchebags par excellence. And maybe they aren't the best musicians. One might also quibble with their poorer work like "Let's Put the X in Sex". I will also admit that they should have retired long ago.

But Kiss blows shit up. Seriously, when you shell out clams to one of their gigs you're not going to see them stare at their fucking shoes. One of the worst things to come out of this "alternative rock" bunk is the commonality of not rocking, as if to turn one's nose up at cliche rockisms.

That sucks donkey dick, my friend, and if anyone is the antithesis of that it's fucking Kiss. Cool tunes + breathing fire and spitting blood = ROCK. (If you subtract the first element you're left with Nashville Pussy so be careful).

NOT CRAP!!!
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Postby connor on Wed Aug 03, 2005 1:19 am

placeholder wrote:
connor wrote:So many Kiss sympathizers on this board...


Yeah. Me and two other people, apparently.


True, I seem to remember more Kiss-lovin' on other threads. It was typically individuals that I tend to agree with (the party-all-night-song, yeah yeah, it's fun and shit). So maybe there's something about Kiss that I just don't get.

No, that's not it.

Oh, I know: they fucking blow.
deep.BTUz wrote:I'm into girls, physical fitness and real estate.

Ya'know actual accomplishments.
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Postby Peripatetic on Thu Jan 18, 2007 12:10 pm

I fucking love Kiss.

I grew up on them and I still love them to this day. Overall, they are the most important band in my life. My favorite band of all time changes about every five minutes but whoever that band is this week is always second to Kiss.

The records are awesome. The make up is awesome. The stage show is awesome. Gene rules, Paul rules, Ace and Peter rule, Bruce Kulick rules, both Erics rule (Eric Carr, R.I.P.), Mark St. John and Vinnie Vincent ruled.

There. I got it off my chest. I've been wanting to post that for almost two years.

There is one thing that creates a waffle of about 0.00000001:

Ace and Peter each quite the reunion tour(s) at different points for awhile and Tommy Thayer and Eric Singer replaced them wearing the Ace and Peter make up. That was bullshit. They should have either not done it, or given those guys new identities.

Not crap.
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