Driving philosophy: "Let them win"

[El Protoolio]

This has been my style for pretty much the entire 21 years I have been driving. More so after I started riding motorbikes. It's a winning strategy. Otherwise you let others control you and your actions.

NOT CRAP

[Bernardo]

Otherwise you let others control you and your actions.

Yes. If you're letting someone else's anxiety interfere with your driving to the level of getting competitive (about fucking DRIVING A CAR), you're the sucker.

[qrj]

To let driving control your emotions is stupid, and it causes mistakes. In a thousand pound death machine, mistakes are bad. So if someone wants to be an asshole, let them win.

[154]

I am not joking about this in the slightest. While the above clip is funny, it's also scary right-on. Asian women are the absolute worst drivers on the road. They should be hooded like a falcon and forced to ride in the trunk of any car they're in - with zero possibility for them to be able to get behind the wheel.

I hope my asian woman karate chops your face and refuses to do your math homework.

[qrj]

Yeah, this is how I drive. I only came to this conclusion when I got a SatNav some years ago. Regardless of where I was going, I'd punch in my destination (usually my office 50 minutes away) and it would tell me the time I would arrive. First of all I'd try to race against that time, trying to see if I could get it down. However, eventually traffic and traffic lights would unavoidably slow me down and the count would return to the original time of arrival. Sometimes I'd rush like an absolute asshat and arrive about two minutes earlier.

Two minutes. What's the fucking point? Is it worth driving like an aggressive idiot for the sake of gaining one hundred and twenty seconds? Of course it isn't. Now I drive carefully and consistently instead. If some guy wants to race for the right to have those two minutes, let him have it. I don't care that much.

Also, +1.

[bumble]

I am not as bad as I make myself sound. I usually don't roadrage unless someone slower cuts into my lane in front of me w/o signalling or someone tries to scare me by making me almost hit them.

Awww, it's like watching a 16-year-old girl try to flirt her way out of a speeding ticket. If you were a cheerleader in uniform, maybe this would pass. But nope nope, sorry son. No talking yourself out of this one. 1-2-3-4 I declare mufugin WAR.

p.s.: will consider Catholic School Girl if you pull up the socks to the knees.

[6-4-3]

I hope my asian woman karate chops your face and refuses to do your math homework.

I'd prefer you ask her to run me over with a car.
I know I'd probably survive that. She'd either veer out of the lane because she saw something shiny in the distance, be driving 20 mph too slow to do the job or slam on the brakes while driving two-footed, forgetting which foot was for the accelerator.

Look. I'm not a bigot.
I think Asian women are sexy, unless they're dealing Blackjack.

But in my experience driving for 20+ years, I've come to learn one immutable truth...
Asian women are the worst drivers on the road.

Do an impromptu poll at a party this long weekend with your friends. See what they say and report back your findings. And be sure to call them racists when they all agree with me.

[buzzsaw]

Look. I'm not a bigot.
I think Asian women are sexy, unless they're dealing Blackjack.

[jimmy two hands]

Oh good lord.

[Ptommydski]

I'm sorry but I LOL'd, I LOL'd.

LOL'd!

[Heath]

In the States, let them win. The consequences of getting fussy--hurting others, hurting yourself, fucking up your car--aren't worth the fleeting feeling of "beating" the competition.

However, there are places in the world where this philosophy doesn't seem to work. I visited Beijing this past summer, and I have never seen more insane, aggressive driving. Cab drivers will floor it to close a 50-foot gap. Amazingly, I didn't witness any accidents.

[154]

I hope my asian woman karate chops your face and refuses to do your math homework.

I'd prefer you ask her to run me over with a car.
I know I'd probably survive that. She'd either veer out of the lane because she saw something shiny in the distance, be driving 20 mph too slow to do the job or slam on the brakes while driving two-footed, forgetting which foot was for the accelerator.

She drives faster than me. You'd be toast.

Keep it up, Don Rickles!

[jimmy two hands]

Cab drivers will floor it to close a 50-foot gap.

I see this happen all the time in Chicago. Cab drivers do this on city streets but drive like gramma on the freeway. Everyone else on the freeway does this though.

[Charlie D]

Once, late at night in rural Illinois, my gf at the time and I were driving toward Chicago from her sister's house. Two lane highway, zero traffic. This asshole came out of nowhere, sped right up behind us, made a dashing pass, got in front of us and then slowed down. Ten mph under the limit. I was driving at the time and thought, "What the fuck?"
I tried to pass and the asshole started hugging the line and sped up. OK, cool, fine. I'll stay where I'm at. He slows it down again. "What the fuck is this asshole's problem!?"
Ex says, "He's probably just drunk."
"Well, I get that."
Same thing happens: I try to pass, he hugs the line and speeds way up. I resume the speed limit as he's way up there now. Then he slows down.
"Fucking prick asshole!" (Or some variation thereof.)
"Just pass him," she says.
"I can't."
I give it a try and the guy pulls the same maneuver. Crowd, accelerate, slow down.
As he slows down, I pull the car around and gun it. While the ex is yelling, "CHARLIE!!" I look up into the cab of this guy's pickup. Old guy. Not some punk pulling pranks. Old old old motherfucker who should know better. Sixties at least.
I swing the car back into our lane and slow that shit down. We're talking down to thirty five and I hug the fucking line. I hadn't been drinking or smoking, I was just completely fucking pissed off and giving into it.
The old bastard flashes his brights behind us, flooding the interior, and pulls a dramatic swing around us and slows down.
"Angie, call 911."
"What the fuck for?"
"We're giving them this asshole's plates." (After all, I could read them the whole time.)
"I'm not calling 911."
"Just tell 'em he's drunk."
She sighs and starts digging through her purse. By the time she gets the phone out, the guy has sped up, is easily a half mile away, and we're at our exit anyhow.
Never again will I drive like that. Completely stupid of me and one of the few times in my adulthood I can recall being legitimately scared.

[ghosting]

Thanks to all those calling out the "race=driving skill" thing, even if it is so funny/ridiculous it hardly needs to be addressed. I will openly admit I drive like a wiener and am an Asian lady (culturally white though), and I'm ok with that--it's to compensate for both my father and my husband's insanely aggressive driving. At least I'm not in the backseat like a little kid, which a couple pals of mine visiting China mentioned is normal there, wife-wise.

[ghosting]

Asian women are the absolute worst drivers on the road. They should be hooded like a falcon and forced to ride in the trunk of any car they're in - with zero possibility for them to be able to get behind the wheel.

JHC.

I mean, I guess it is probably hard for them to see the road, between their squinty eyes and those pointy hats they wear. And I'll bet it's hard to control your car when you're using chopsticks to hold the wheel.

Am I right, people?

I love you! Except you have just found me out--this is why I am uncomfortable letting anyone, including R, watch me drive. I don't want any of y'all discovering my Asian chopstick-wielding driving secrets...

[placeholder]

I love you! Except you have just found me out--this is why I am uncomfortable letting anyone, including R, watch me drive. I don't want any of y'all discovering my Asian chopstick-wielding driving secrets...

I thought maybe you just didn't know how to drift around turns and stuff--something all "you people" are supposed to know how to do.

[Ptommydski]

We got a connection,
Way down in your wires,
You mash down your starter,
You really know how to start a fight.

Why did the weasel,
Get up and cross the road?
It's just the terraplane,
The aeroplane,
The Pharaoh playing 'Dead Man's Blues'.

People you gotta be careful,
Know not what you do,
People you gotta be careful,
A flux of static inside,
All up in your mind,
Then you start to find...

[Thanasis]

NOT CRAP.
The way I see it is that if you are putting only yourself at risk by driving aggressively then that is fine with me. Go for it. It's your life. It's your bones. Putting your passengers, pedestrians, motorists and other road-users at risk because you're in a hurry is fucked up and irresponsible.

[tmidgett]

Starbucks was the closest coffee place, so I got an iced coffee there.

Man, I really wanted to order a 'jumbo iced coffee.' I just thought it would be funny. But then I realized a lot of d-bags refuse to say 'venti' or whatever, and I would just be another random d-bag making some working stiff's life more difficult. So I got a 'venti.'

Anyway, my wife, kid, and I are in the crosswalk. There's a guy in front of us with one kid on foot and a stroller with a kid on it.

This woman comes whipping around the corner and cuts in front of all of us, maybe three feet away.

Her window was wide open. I very nearly spit into her car, but then I thought shit, I'm here with my kid, I don't want to get into a whole thing. But we're all like whoa that was fucked up.

Then my wife points out that I had an entire jumbo iced coffee I could have dumped right on her. I totally had every excuse in the world to do it, like it was an accident.

I do regret not doing it.