EA member dreams

[circle_ruler]

My dreams are fucking lame.

utter hogwash. the double whammy of Jonah's Jim/Hole and the Steve Beer Lecture has me stifling sobs of mirth at my desk. truly magnificent.

[holmes]

I've been having a horrible one lately. It's jet black night time, and I am struggling to get to my feet. I am coughing and spluttering, totally unable to get above knee height. Right in front of me, as far as the eye can see, are rows and rows of stationary cars revving their engines at me, with their horns are all screaming at me at an unbearable volume, without a break in the sound. I am face to face with the grill of one car. I can smell the fumes, and feel the heat coming off of the engine bay. The car has it's full beams on, revving up. I begin choking. It's raining. I can't see the faces of any of the drivers, and i can never get up without falling down again. The engines and horns get louder and louder, and then i wake up.

[jimmy two hands]

I passed out on the couch after Thanksgiving dinner and had a dream where a woman was jerking me off with her eyeballs, like titty-fucking, but with large bulbous eyeballs. It was disturbing rather than arousing.

[Ty Webb]

I had a incredibly explicit, hardcore sex dream about me and my wife, except she kept asking me to bark like a dog right at the most intense moments. Thing is, she wasn't asking me because she was somehow turned on by my barking like a dog. She wanted someone in the next room/apartment to think we had a dog in the room with us. Not engaged in the act with us. Just that we had a dog. There was no explanation why this was so important.

I woke up thinking there had to be an easier way to do that...

[Colonel Panic]

This was a dream I had last night, so I have to post it before I forget.

I went back to college, and everybody there was a lot younger than me. The school had this little-used music venue room where I went to just get away and work on my homework.

So I go in there, just in time to catch this emo-goth lounge singer with a female keyboard player finishing up their set. After they were done, some guy in a hoodie walked in with a crate of vinyl records and started working the room, trying to sell them for $60 apiece. The keyboard player from the band was packing up her gear, and she told me, "this guy sells records through some kind of multi-level marketing scheme. They actually refer to their salesmen as mules. It's so demeaning," she said. I agreed.

They were playing Tom Waits as the house music, but the music was like Spike Jones, with kazoos and slide whistles and a-oo-gah horns. I overheard somebody mention it was his new record. The last few lines in the song were:

"I just turned seventy-five
As I watched my son die
The Devil said, Beelzebub
You talk a lotta hubbedy-glub"

The entire room burst into applause, and I suddenly felt the need to get out of there and go home. As I walked out I heard some kid say, "Tom Waits really tells it like it is."

So on my way home, I'm at Division and Ashland, waiting for the Ashland bus. I'm hungry, so I decide to stop in at La Pasadita for a couple tacos. As I walk up to the door, I notice the place is closed down. There's a sticker on the door that says, "Business license revoked by the City of Chicago." So I turn around toward the other La Pasadita across the street, and I can see that it's closed down too. It even has police tape across the front door.

I walk a few doors down to the big, family restaurant-style La Pasadita, and that one's open, but the layout has been completely changed. It's now very cramped, just like the original La Pasadita, with only a single counter and a few barstools. I approach the cashier and order a burrito to go, then ask what happened to the other restaurants. The cashier tells me that Rahm Emmanuel passed a new ordinance to bring more taco stands into the city and increase competition in the Mexican restaurant business, so they had to close them down.

I look behind the counter and notice they have an approximately 1 year-old baby sitting on the counter next to the griddle, rolling the burritos. The chefs throw down a tortilla, scoop the meat, cheese, cilantro, etc. on top, and the little baby deftly rolls up the burrito like a consummate pro, then pops it into a bag and hands it off to the cashier, who hands it to me.

I walk outside to catch the bus, and there's a middle-aged guy standing there. He asks me if I'll be paying cash for the bus ride. I tell him I have a monthly pass, and he says, "Good luck! I hope yours isn't one of the fakes." He then goes into a story about how a CTA cashier at the Merchandise Mart got busted for selling bogus monthly passes.

Suddenly I'm there in the CTA office while they're investigating the crime. They perform a search of the employees' lockers, but don't find anything. When they close one of the the lockers back up, they accidentally leave a gold pen inside. The supervisor catches the woman who owned the locker using this pen at her desk, and demands she return it. She refuses, asserting it's her new favorite pen, and they have no right to take it away. So they arrest her, and when the cops arrive to take her to jail, they tell the CTA people she was also the same person selling the fake passes.

Then I'm riding on the bus and the same guy from before is telling me, "I can't believe you haven't heard about it," he says, "It's all over the news!"

That's when I woke up.

[SecondEdition]

I had a dream about getting a severe dressing-down from someone I haven't even met for something I might or might not have done. Awesome.

[Ernest]

I had this dream yesterday, or the day before:

I was walking on some street, it's an urban environment I don't think ever been to, but it's probably modeled on Queens. I cross the street, and I'm thinking to myself in the dream, "If the Manson Family had never happened, it probably would've happened sooner or later." As soon as I said that, I hear this amazingly beautiful song; piano, full backing band, with a beautifully sad melody, and with a lovely woman singing, "Tell Me I Haven't Been Gone For Long" as the chorus. I say to myself that's Leslie Van Houten, and I feel so sad thinking, "She wants her lover to tell her she hasn't been gone for all those years." In the dream, it's incredibly depressing.

I woke up after walking down this street some more, and it was on my mind for hours. It was incredibly weird. I want to hear that song so much, though.

Another dream, the same night:

My mind made up a surreal film, but I wasn't watching a screen. I was disembodied, watching this woman walk across a lake, with a maple forest around it. It felt like I was ten or fifteen feet away from her, like a wide angle shot. I watch her walk across the lake, and the scene shifts to a tight cramped space where there were giant, perfectly rectangle boulders crushing this guy's legs. It wasn't freaky in the dream though, it was like I was completely disconnected from the scene, watching it from the side, as if the cramped space had no outer wall. The guy didn't flinch as I saw a boulder come down on his leg and stop.

The scene shifted to being underwater. It was dark, and I was looking down at a sharp angle. I could see this woman swimming up to the surface steadily, and then when she poked her head out of the water, she immediately fell out of the sky. It's like my mind is David Lynch for some fucked up reason.

[circle_ruler]

getting politically active i was. hanging out with these earnest young things, all enthusiasm and moral outrage. committed, courageous, very serious, slightly underfed. some sort of street stall. books and chat. as usual my dick intervened in the scenario by pointing out an attractive young anarchista who seemed very happy to engage with me. all the time we talked though i found myself feeling a bit uncomfortable. we obviously fancied the fuck out of each other but i was paralysed by internal conflict due to her massive afro. it was so big it looked like a joke wig. the potential for creative topiary aside i just found it a little on the conspicuous side of massive. if it was real what would our children look like? man, i was in a right pickle. things get a bit hazey from that point on but i'm pretty sure my dick won the day - he's not as superficial as dream-me.

[Ty Webb]

but i was paralysed by internal conflict due to her massive afro. it was so big it looked like a joke wig. the potential for creative topiary aside i just found it a little on the conspicuous side of massive. if it was real what would our children look like? man, i was in a right pickle. things get a bit hazey from that point on but i'm pretty sure my dick won the day - he's not as superficial as dream-me.

Don't fight it, sugar...

[Maurice]

A dream in which I bungled a work presentation. More uncomfortable still, in one scene I bought three LPs for their design, one of which turned out to be (as I found when I got it home) by the Decemberists. I felt bitterly disappointed.

[noise&light]

Last night's dream was a follow-up to another one. There were even mentions to "the first time" that I had run this errand within the conversations in the dream. I used to dream in serial when I was a kid but those were happy dreams. Whenever I shared them with people I wouldn't have them anymore so I'm going to share this in the hope that this one is over.

This dream:

I walked into this large public school-looking building on the South side of Chicago and went straight to the top floor via a rickety elevator. This municipal building was now being used as some type of flophouse hotel. But the top floor was completely different; the floors were carpeted and the walls had fancy wallpaper. There actually seemed to be waiters moving around. And guards. I went into the room at the end of the hall (I'd been there before and knew exactly where to go) and inside I found some of my oldest friends hanging out at a table in this large room that looked like a private casino.

They were already pretty wasted on booze and what looked like cocaine and heroin in different trays. Some were definitely not happy to see me so I just approached the one that I trusted the most and asked why I had been summoned there. He handed me a package and with an unnaturally exaggerated "buzzed" smile explained to me that I was going to be helping with the second release on their label. I was told to deliver the package to someone on the first floor who wasn't allowed up at the top floor. And I wasn't to open the package for anyone.

This had already happened in the first dream but then I didn't know what was going on. I looked around and suddenly figured it all out. One of these guys was a doctor. He was obtaining pharmaceutical-grade drugs and providing it to local drug dealers in exchange for large quantities of cash. My "friends" felt like they weren't getting their hands dirty by not having to sell the drugs themselves. They were probably using the money for their albums. Or maybe not. I'd never seen anything released by them. This was just another of the many elaborate projects that were talked about at length but that never materialized.

I didn't like it but I supposedly didn't know what was going on. All I had to do was hand this package to someone downstairs. I considered different ways of tampering with the package to throw a wrench into this process but since I had no idea what the outcome would be, I just took the package and said, okay.

When I stepped back out into the hallway things seemed suddenly totally different. The elevator wasn't working now, people were banging on it. And people were yelling in a language I didn't understand and running down the hallways. I started taking the stairs and could see that things were getting foggier the further I went. The men in the hallways seemed to be hunched over. Things started looking more like a sick ward.

I could hear yelling and a walkie talkie radio and it occurred to me that the place was being raided and that I still had this package in my hands. Maybe that smoke was gas? Were we being gassed? I wrapped my scarf around my face and ran down the last two staircases.

The door was opened at the bottom by someone with a grim face. As I started to step inside I hesitated at the scene inside. There were men in suits and men wearing very little, like makeshift dhotis out of bedsheets. They were in strange positions and it seemed that something medical or sexual was going on. The men in dhotis were all bent over and leaning on things or seemed weak. I didn't want to see anymore and thrust the package into the hands of the man at the door and tried to remember how to get out of the place.

The first time I had been here it was easy to walk out the front door. I had just missed the raid but this time it was already happening. I slipped into the back courtyard, saw an ambulance with someone in a stretcher and climbed underneath the stretcher. About a moment later I heard gunfire and screams from the building. The back doors opened in the ambulance and I was terrified to hear several shots being fired at the helpless guy in the stretcher above me. I might have been hit by a bullet. I woke up.

[jimmy two hands]

My wife and I were walking around an abandoned summer camp, and remarking how it wasn't very scary for an abandoned sleepaway camp. We walked out to the field where they play capture the flag and noticed a whole bunch of tornadoes crossing the field, and remarked that they were a little unnerving, but we felt that we needed to go look at them instead of going to find shelter. As we got closer we noticed that each tornado was ripping up the ground underneath, leaving a path that looks like the Bugs Bunny cartoons where he is burrowing underground as a means of travel. Where the tornadoes hit the ground, there was an opening to the ground where a bunch on monkeys were popping out of the ground. My wife says, "oh, it was only burrowing monkeys!" I say, "then it's not really a big deal then." The monkeys are all wearing army uniforms, and one who appears to be the leader shrieks something to the other monkeys in monkey language and points at us. The other monkeys, they all have different colored spots on their chests, and they each pull out a piece of fruit that matches the color on their chest - red for apple, yellow for banana, green for lime, and so on - and take a bite out of the fruit and throw it at us. A piece of fruit hits me on the head and I shout "these monkeys are dicks! knock it off you burrowing bitch-holes!" I pick up a piece of fruit and throw it back at a monkey and when it hits him, he explodes in huge flames. I say "let's get them in the stink!" and we start picking up fruit and throwing it back at them and laughing each time a monkey explodes. My wife yells "fuck you, you fucking dick monkeys!" I woke up when my hand hit the wall as I was throwing the fruit.

[Marsupialized]

Man, lemmie write this down before it goes away. Quite a doozy. It literally feels like I just watched a full feature length motion picture.

There's some in the beginning I don't remember, but I'll start at the BET awards show.

The BET awards show is at Wrigley field. I am wandering around the seats, just looking around. There are people everywhere in suits and ties. There are some acts performing and awards being given out. The stage is so far away I can only see the events on the big screen they have set up on the scoreboard. At some point, I am waved to by some people on one long plank of wood/seat that is balancing above the crowd on two stilts, it's wobbly and looks dangerous. I see that it's esteemed producer Quincy Jones waving to me and calling my name. A woman come up to me and begins putting a harness around me, so I can be lifted up by bungee cord to the seat. I just go with it, as the woman is very attractive and being very sexual with the way she's doing it plus she says 'Mr. Jones wishes you to sit in his seats, I would recommend not turning him down'
I am hoisted up and sit at the end of the long bench seat, I have to squeeze in and it's making me uneasy. It's Quincy Jones and around 10 or 12 people from my past, mainly black dudes I have been friends with at various jobs, everyone is really having a good time up there hootin' and hollerin'. I try to relax, but the board is very wobbly. The girl next to me is the first girl I ever kissed, Heather Delaney, from 4th grade. She is all up on me, grinding on me and whatnot. She looks good. We talk and I attempt to resist her charms, telling her I am married but she continues. At one point, this dude I used to work with named Tony start wobbling the board back and forth, he thinks it's funny. Way back and forth. I pretend to laugh along, but have had about enough of it. I tell the girl that I am going to bend it far enough for us to jump down and she says 'cool'
I bend it way forward and tell her 'Jump!' when we near the ground and we get off fine, land right on out feet and walk away, the board snaps back and people are jostled on it but laughing and yelling to me that it was awesome and waving goodbye and the dude Tony is telling me 'That bitch is sexy' and giving me a thumbs up pointing at Heather Delaney. I look at the scoreboard and it says 'DISASTER AVERTED' in big letters and shows Quincy Jones giving the thumbs up and the crowd is going crazy. I walk out of the stadium, and I part ways with Heather Delaney. I tell her I have to meet someone. She leaves.
A cab drives up and the driver gets out and walks away, I get in and drive it. I park on a block and walk into a backyard party, PEPPER! is sitting in a chair in the garage watching the BET awards show on a TV, while people mill about eating sandwiches and whatnot. I pull up and chair next to him and we just hang for awhile. We just kind of sit, we talked about some stuff but it was nothing crazy, just hanging out. He points to the yard and the Heather Delaney chick is talking to some chicks that were at the party. 'Man, that can't be good' but I say 'Whatever, man, that was when I was a kid I bet I didn't even have pubic hair yet'
We both agree to the strange condition that it is not technically cheating if you are cheating with the girl who you first fooled around with, as a child, you are merely finishing unfinished business and your wife or current lady friend will have no standing being upset about such a thing. I knew it was ridiculous, but we both pretended to totally buy into the line of reason. He gets up to leave and I see that he's left a note to me. The note is long and serious in tone, but all it's telling me is that he thinks we should use a certain song for some upcoming thing with BBGS instead of a different song I recommended. I do not care about what song is used and find it strange that he decided to leave me a note about it.
At this point, I walk away from the party and end up in the parking lot of a grocery store. I get in a car and someone from my life who I can't remember hands me a folder. It's all very secretive. I open and see letters and photos of a dude I knew maybe 10 or 12 years ago, David Miley. Real, real creepy dude. Serial killer type.
The note outlines that I am to find Miley and make him less creepy.
I get out and walk into the grocery store and it's completely weird. There are people lined up and I see a man pointing at a giant sign that says 'BLIZZARD' in flashing lights. He wants it, but the people who work at the store are unintelligent and cannot figure out how to get it down for him. It's a big scene, with people gathered around. I pick up an orange and throw it at the picture, using an exaggerated side arm pitch. It knocks the picture directly into the dude's hands, but slices his hands in the process, there's a fair amount of blood. He protests, but I say 'Just be thankful you got the picture at all, asshole' and people clap.
I walk down the aisle and suddenly I am in slow motion. There's a Cocorosie video playing on a TV that is set on one of the shelves. It's a super hard, noise version of one of their soft songs. The chicks are jumping around in the video and I thin it's pretty good.
I look behind me and a woman checking people out has frozen and is bashing her head with her hand. There are people gathered to watch. 'She does this when there's music she does not like' I say 'Yeah, I've heard about this'
I walk away and on another TV I see Jim Birch, yet again making an appearance in a dream, he is dressed up in full cowboy gear singing a straight pop country cover of what I recognized was a different cocorosie song, but was actually a mixture of a Cocorosie song and 'Dead Embryonic Cells' by Sepultura and maybe something else, it definitely had the words 'My mind's confusion' in the chorus. His voice is super, super low and bassy. It sounds good, people all around are talking about what a popular country music artist he is.
The dude who asked me to find Miley and make him less creepy comes in and starts yelling to me 'You didn't start yet?' and whatnot, angry that I am walking around the store, aimlessly.
I pick up a box of pancake mix from the shelf and throw it at him, it spins at him like a Chinese star and hits him square on the head. He is knocked unconscious, people are there tending to him and everyone is angry at me. I say 'anyone else want some of what he got?' and nobody says anything. I declare that the doors be locked, nobody is to leave. I say 'We are going to get to the bottom of this' People all look frightened and it feels like something bad is going to happen, I am walking back and forth trying to decide how to proceed.

There's a bunch more, but that's about all I can remember.

[timpickens]

I have no recollection of the dream I had the other night, aside from that ended with me screaming to my mother "YOU BETTER TELL JESUS HE NEEDS TO FIRE HIS DIVORCE ATTORNEY." I have no idea what this means or if it related to something that had taken place previously in the dream. It was stuck in my head all day.

[Marsupialized]

Oh, and PEPPER! had a huge Rollie Fingers mustache in the dream, too

[jimmy two hands]

I was at some event, I think it was the lobby of an old theater, talking to a couple of people I don't know. I was congratulating one guy about the article he had just gotten published in Cat Fancy. He thanked me in a very thick Irish accent. Then he started having a seizure, foaming at the mouth, and collapsed. I tried to dial 911 but my phone didn't work, so I ran to get help. I found someone and told him to call 911 and brought him back to the guy so he could describe to the operator what was happening. When he saw the seizure guy, he hung up his phone and put it back into his pocket and said, "why are you wasting my time, guy? This is how we make scotch in Texas." I said, "Are you sure it's safe? You do realize we're in Indiana." He says "one way to find out," and puts a shot glass into the stream of foam coming out of the seizure guy's mouth. Sure enough, the foam turns into scotch when it hits the glass, and it's super awesome scotch. He said "always trust a Texan with a train set," as a toast, and we drank a few rounds.

[Sid Hartha]

I had two of them - both had my father in them. It's peculiar.

I'm older now then he ever was by twenty years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one I don't remember too well but it was about meeting him in town somewhere, he's gonna give me some money. I think I lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times and I was on horseback going through the mountains at night. Going through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past me and kept on going. Never said nothing going by. He just rode on past... and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carrying fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. About the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was going on ahead and he was going to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. And then I woke up...

[noise&light]

I had two of them - both had my father in them. It's peculiar.

I'm older now then he ever was by twenty years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one I don't remember too well but it was about meeting him in town somewhere, he's gonna give me some money. I think I lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times and I was on horseback going through the mountains at night. Going through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past me and kept on going. Never said nothing going by. He just rode on past... and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carrying fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. About the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was going on ahead and he was going to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. And then I woke up...

These both seem quietly intense to me. Thanks for sharing them.

[jimmy two hands]

last night I dreamt I was going to a chic new restaurant with my wife and some friends for a celebration of some kind. We were all dressed up fancy-like, and even sprung the cash for valet parking which we never do. The waiter convinces us to order this elaborate appetizer called the "cobweb faberge egg surprize", where the waiter presents you with a plate that has an egg and a conch shell on it, and the conch shell has a hermit crab inside it that cracks a hole in the eggshell for you and turns it over to present the meal inside the eggshell, and which is made up of a soft boiled egg much smaller than the eggshell and suspended in the middle of the shell by a bunch of merengue that is dyed grey and shaped into strands that look like cobwebs. Really fancy thing, this meal, says the waiter, and we're all impressed.

He brings out the plate, and it has the egg on it and the conch shell, but instead of a hermit crab, there's a tarantula inside. This scares the hell out of us - having a hermit crab serve our dinner for some reason is not a big deal, but a spider is absolutely not cool. We can't send the plate back, because the waiter won't do it. We ordered it, and it's our responsibility, he says. Also we're not allowed to kill the spider because it would make a huge mess and the restaurant doesn't want to be seen as a messy place, and we have to eat the egg because it took a long time to prepare and the restaurant prides itself on being a zero waste facility. This is non-negotiable, says the waiter. So we try to come up with an eleborate plan to grap the egg off the plate with some silverware while someone else puts a bowl over the plate to trap the spider so it won't attack us. I get chosen as the one to put the bowl over the plate, and I say no way, because I have a horrible fear of spiders and I start hyperventilating. I woke up before we got to eat the egg.

[anemonebeard]

I had two of them - both had my father in them. It's peculiar.

I'm older now then he ever was by twenty years. So in a sense he's the younger man. Anyway, first one I don't remember too well but it was about meeting him in town somewhere, he's gonna give me some money. I think I lost it. The second one, it was like we was both back in older times and I was on horseback going through the mountains at night. Going through this pass in the mountains. It was cold and there was snow on the ground and he rode past me and kept on going. Never said nothing going by. He just rode on past... and he had his blanket wrapped around him and his head down and when he rode past I seen he was carrying fire in a horn the way people used to do and I could see the horn from the light inside of it. About the color of the moon. And in the dream I knew that he was going on ahead and he was going to make a fire somewhere out there in all that dark and all that cold, and I knew that whenever I got there he would be there. And then I woke up...

Does no one else see what this is, or what...