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Band: TOOL

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TOOL?

CRAP
114
53%
NOT CRAP
100
47%
 
Total votes : 214

Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Get dog costumes on Sun Sep 29, 2013 7:02 pm

cuttheshitmike wrote:I saw Tool with the Melvins when I was a sophomore in high school. I felt bad for years because I remember thinking the melvins sucked, but I later found out they were touring on some of their most unlistenable material, apparently, and even fans didn't dig it. But whatever, I was 15 so that's a good enough excuse anyways. I was a big fan of AEnima at the time and spent a lot of time listening to that record and playing Mario Kart 64. The concert was my first big arena show and, being a teenager, I got high and moshed and had a grand old time. A few months later I would get into punk and pretty much never listen to tool again. I was a college radio DJ when Lateralus dropped, so I was forced to contend with the doofuses who loved Tool and at least give it a listen... ugh.

Tool sucks.

The biggest thing that irks me (from both fans and detractors) is when people accuse them of being too complex/proggy/smart/etc. No. These guys are dumb. You could never miss that they're playing in an odd time signature because it sounds like they're counting it out every time. Nothing sounds smooth or natural or musical about their rhythms. Maynard is a grade A moron. Go seek out the interview about his wine company/pucifer album and tell me that's not true. He's the type to use a word like "Vicarious" in a song and assume other people don't because it's a big, intelligent word and not because it's impossible to sing without sounding like an idiot.

Speaking of which, Maynard is an awful singer. It's like he mastered all the techniques of singing (projecting your voice, all the little annoying affectations and modulations) without ever actually learning how to sing or write a melody. Melodically these guys are about on par with Cake except if the guy from Cake wanted to be an opera singer.

And Danny Carey? The guy may be technically proficient on some level, but his drumming is so tasteless and samey. How many faux-tribal "I bought all these fucking toms so I'm gonna damn well use 'em" drum beats do you need to hear in your life really?

Their bass player is the hero of every high-schooler who bought a six string bass without actually learning how to play bass first. Dumb dumb dumb repetitive lines with all those stupid slappy triplet grace note things thrown in all over the place.

All these parts wouldn't necessarily add up to an unbearable whole, but it struck me watching that video of the kids, since I hadn't listened to that song in a while, how much they were kind of trying to do a Marquee Moon thing with the interlocking rhythms in the intro and how it's so much more showy and bullshity and completely fails while marquee moon catches me a little off guard every time. Whatever feel or vibe or groove there is that makes me enjoy music, Tool has absolutely none of it.

Okay, but what do you think of Paul D'Amour?
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby cuttheshitmike on Sun Sep 29, 2013 9:58 pm

He's also not very good.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby AnthonyVillalobos on Mon Sep 30, 2013 2:16 am

uh huh uh huhuhuh uuuuhhh
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby buzzsaw on Tue Oct 01, 2013 11:25 pm

Chromodynamic wrote:
buzzsaw wrote:This band is the modern day "The Doors" for mall-goths.


You realize this band hasn't released an album in 7 years, and doesn't seem to have any plans for a new one anytime soon, right?

The enduring rancor y'all have for this band is something I find very amusing.


I am not aware of their plans, no.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Gramsci on Thu Oct 03, 2013 10:42 am

I briefly played in a band in London whose singer/guitarist was married to Tool's bassplayer's sister.

I heard a lot of stories, one thing I remember specifically is that all the black magic, mathematics stuff is total bullshit, they're all normal dudes that found a good marketing angle and ran with it. That said, I find them a guilty pleasure.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Ptommydski on Thu Oct 03, 2013 2:52 pm

buzzsaw wrote:This band is the modern day "The Doors" for mall-goths.

This is pretty apt.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby cuttheshitmike on Thu Oct 03, 2013 5:39 pm

I always likened them to (mostly latter era) pink floyd, but Doors works too.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Riff Magnum on Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:14 am

Gramsci wrote:I briefly played in a band in London whose singer/guitarist was married to Tool's bassplayer's sister.

I heard a lot of stories, one thing I remember specifically is that all the black magic, mathematics stuff is total bullshit, they're all normal dudes that found a good marketing angle and ran with it. That said, I find them a guilty pleasure.



Yeah, i just like them though. I don't have to feel guilty about it, although the limited amount of material they release becomes annoying pretty quick. Don't listen to them much anymore because i've just heard it too many times. Nirvana puts out more new material than this band.
Maynard is the real Tool of the band. I think the other three are fine even though i think DAnny Carrey is the one pushing the whole math/satan thing and that's kind of annoying. The bassist has a great sound and really does most of the heavy lifting in the band.
Adam Jones seems like the real deal. Great tone, doesn't overplay, cool artist.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby moonman on Sun Oct 06, 2013 7:15 pm

Band sucks, 88 people are idiots.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Anthony Flack on Thu Oct 10, 2013 9:34 pm

So many people I know rate this band highly, but they've always left me cold. So glossy and overserious. Like a heavy metal Pink Floyd.

Happy to push the balance of votes back over to crap.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Awesome_Komodo on Sat May 10, 2014 4:37 pm

I had forgotten that this band existed until I read Sup's post in the Jesus Lizard Shot thread. I literally have no opinion of this band. They're like the Pet Rock of music.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Goddamn Miracle on Sat May 10, 2014 4:43 pm

I'm not the Tool Champion who posts here.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby El Protoolio on Sat May 10, 2014 5:57 pm

Justin Chancellor is a super nice dude who has gotten me drunk at a bar on his tab more than once. He is not crap.

Adam Jones is kind of a prissy douche but then again I told him to his face that I wasn't really a fan of Tool. I thought he'd be more grateful to me since I was probably the first person in LA to ever tell him the truth.

Maynard hides out in his own private bus and/or dressing room. I have never formally met him, just glanced him as he went from bus to stage and back. By all accounts he's not a bad guy, just weird and private.

I have never met Danny Carey. I have only ever glimpsed him from behind his drum kit.

Their music, meh, whatever. It never did anything for me but it never offended me either. The one time I saw them was when ISIS was on tour with them and because I was VIP at a huge place I had seen Pink Floyd and the Grateful Dead at years before and drinking free beer and standing in the VIP section behind the sound board I thought it was the greatest rock spectacle I had ever seen or been to. The next day I went back to thinking they were meh.

Still, Justin is welcome in my home anytime and is a super nice guy with zero ego. He's just stoked to play bass for living. The drunker he gets the thicker his accent gets and the harder he is to understand.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Evin Relocation on Sat May 10, 2014 6:00 pm

... I kinda wanna hang out with El Protoolio now...
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby El Protoolio on Sat May 10, 2014 6:03 pm

...It's always an adventure and you never know who I might run into.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby Rémy on Sun May 11, 2014 5:34 am

El Protoolio wrote:Justin Chancellor is a super nice dude who has gotten me drunk at a bar on his tab more than once. He is not crap.

Adam Jones is kind of a prissy douche but then again I told him to his face that I wasn't really a fan of Tool. I thought he'd be more grateful to me since I was probably the first person in LA to ever tell him the truth.

Maynard hides out in his own private bus and/or dressing room. I have never formally met him, just glanced him as he went from bus to stage and back. By all accounts he's not a bad guy, just weird and private.

I have never met Danny Carey. I have only ever glimpsed him from behind his drum kit.

Their music, meh, whatever. It never did anything for me but it never offended me either. The one time I saw them was when ISIS was on tour with them and because I was VIP at a huge place I had seen Pink Floyd and the Grateful Dead at years before and drinking free beer and standing in the VIP section behind the sound board I thought it was the greatest rock spectacle I had ever seen or been to. The next day I went back to thinking they were meh.

Still, Justin is welcome in my home anytime and is a super nice guy with zero ego. He's just stoked to play bass for living. The drunker he gets the thicker his accent gets and the harder he is to understand.

This post is amazing.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby AnthonyVillalobos on Sun May 11, 2014 8:39 am

Tool are a great band whether or not some schmucks believe otherwise.

I can do without maynards vocals for sure.

But he has his moments.

Met Danny at a tiny bar show and he rules. Very tall man.

Tool are NC.

North Carolina.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby El Protoolio on Mon May 12, 2014 11:36 pm

When Tool and ISIS played the Allstate in 2006 they had to cancel whatever gig they had the next night. ISIS still wanted to play so they played the Beat Kitchen and Justin Chancellor played on stage with them for a few songs.
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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby sulfur)addict on Tue May 13, 2014 12:01 am

AnthonyVillalobos wrote:I can do without maynards vocals for sure.


That is literally the best part of Tool. It barely hedges out curdled bass playing, but still, Maynard is just about the best clean metal singer around. All of his worst moments are when he stops singing melodically ("SUN. KIST. AND SUDA. FED." - yeesh)

Oddly enough, his lyrics are the worst aspect of Tool.

Tool are way too wired into my early high school years to vote against them. I think a lot of people used them as a springboard, not so much as a gateway band (I don't know anyone who picked up a King Crimson record because of Tool), but as an easy way of spotting other people who were crazy obsessed with music and often times taking drugs. It varied wildly - some were geared towards Mastodon and Black Sabbath, others System of a Down and Incubus, and then there was that sad group of Breaking Benjamin fans. For me personally, I know my first band was aping Tool and Hurt and Sabbath and White Zombie for all that we were worth, which wasn't much. But it was still there, and we were still bringing ideas to the table, instead of clunking away with bad metalcore, which had become the norm among our friends. Tool were a good band for ideas, even if they were really bad/dorky/pretentious ones.

I don't listen to them at all anymore, but I think I could turn on "Stinkfist" and not feel embarrassed for once being really into them. There's a couple of solid songs like that in the pre-Lateralus years.

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Re: Band: TOOL

Postby LizardPod on Mon Sep 21, 2015 7:54 pm

Reviving another dead thread here, but I'd say Not Crap. I think they found their peak at Aenima and Lateralus. Undertow and Opiate I'd say are meh, and 10,000 Days, well, I only found a few songs from there to like. I don't pay attention to Maynard's lyrics, but I fucking love the music.
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