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Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star Wars

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Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star Wars

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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby El Protoolio on Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:07 pm



Ok, full disclosure - I own both of those plus 3 more but I am not yet that overweight.

I'm working on it though.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Marsupialized on Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:22 pm

El Protoolio wrote:


Ok, full disclosure - I own both of those plus 3 more but I am not yet that overweight.

I'm working on it though.


Why are they following the Kardashians and Jersey Shore people with cameras when this family is available?
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby El Protoolio on Mon Dec 05, 2011 7:29 pm

Marsupialized wrote:
El Protoolio wrote:


Ok, full disclosure - I own both of those plus 3 more but I am not yet that overweight.

I'm working on it though.


Why are they following the Kardashians and Jersey Shore people with cameras when this family is available?


You are absolutely correct.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby jimmy two hands on Mon May 04, 2015 11:02 am

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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby circle_ruler on Mon May 04, 2015 2:09 pm

hmmm... i don't care.

while you guys *pointy-pointy, winky-winky* deal with that i will voice my new opinion of the central issue.

Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.

if we look back at Australopithecus and early Homo we can recognise various physical differences that separate these species from other primates, of which some have been inferred to correspond to very important differences in the way they organise themselves socially. one of these is the reduction in sexual dimorphism i.e. differences, particularly in size, between the sexes. this has been inferred to correspond with reduced competition for mates and more co-operation between individuals, food-sharing etc.

other physical differences between Australopithecus/Homo and other primates is the reduction in size of the canine teeth and enlargement of the penis. again the implication seems to be an emphasis on co-operative behaviour as opposed to conflict, and the growing importance of sex as a social tool rather than being merely for reproduction.

so, Chewbacca. unless you have a massive member swinging about beneath all that fur to bring your cano/cock ratio within Homo parameters then one can only infer that beneath your thin veneer of civilised behaviour lurks a wife-beating, patri/fratricidal, fuckface. you probably also suck at sex but that's purely incidental.

all i'm saying is that i would never condone giving a medal to one such as you and your rightful place is in a zoo.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby the finger genius on Mon May 04, 2015 2:38 pm



They don't even get into the whole Luke Skywalker was a Saudi prince angle, huh?
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby garthplinko on Mon May 04, 2015 4:02 pm

I always assumed this was a cultural thing among Wookies. Some part of their weirdo Amish tree-religion.

Though shalt not accept medals unless made of wood.

also

Though shalt not wear pants (bandolier straps ok and completely bad-ass.)

Though shalt always rip arms off whoever at unexpected times and go into a flip-out rage to intimidate and frighten smaller creatures.

Ewoks are nature's toilet paper provided for you. Enjoy.

blasters are ok, but you have to make them kinda look like they should fire wooden bolts.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Tom on Mon May 04, 2015 4:56 pm

circle_ruler wrote:Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.


You know, it's been about 25 years since I read the Timothy Zahn sequel books, but I swear there was a wookie character in it that spoke english. When someone who new Chewbacca said something like "Huh, I never realized wookies could speak english, I guess Chewbacca just didn't ever learn the language", this new wookie character replied "Oh no, most can't. I just have a speech impediment that sounds like english."

Can anyone else confirm this? The books aren't good enough to revisit.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby jimmy two hands on Mon May 04, 2015 5:28 pm

circle_ruler wrote:Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.


Wookies ain't primates, they have a completely different evolutionary history. But I'm guessing they got more of a dog-like red rocket thing going on.

Tom wrote:You know, it's been about 25 years since I read the Timothy Zahn sequel books, but I swear there was a wookie character in it that spoke english. When someone who new Chewbacca said something like "Huh, I never realized wookies could speak english, I guess Chewbacca just didn't ever learn the language", this new wookie character replied "Oh no, most can't. I just have a speech impediment that sounds like english."

Can anyone else confirm this? The books aren't good enough to revisit.


I only read the first book, I don't remember any other wookies besides Chewie.
I think I borrowed that book from you. Did I ever give it back?
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Tom on Mon May 04, 2015 5:34 pm

jimmy two hands wrote:
circle_ruler wrote:Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.


Wookies ain't primates, they have a completely different evolutionary history. But I'm guessing they got more of a dog-like red rocket thing going on.

Tom wrote:You know, it's been about 25 years since I read the Timothy Zahn sequel books, but I swear there was a wookie character in it that spoke english. When someone who new Chewbacca said something like "Huh, I never realized wookies could speak english, I guess Chewbacca just didn't ever learn the language", this new wookie character replied "Oh no, most can't. I just have a speech impediment that sounds like english."

Can anyone else confirm this? The books aren't good enough to revisit.


I only read the first book, I don't remember any other wookies besides Chewie.
I think I borrowed that book from you. Did I ever give it back?


Yeah, it's on my bookshelf, collecting metaclorines.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby gjp on Mon May 04, 2015 6:22 pm

Tom wrote:
jimmy two hands wrote:
circle_ruler wrote:Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.


Wookies ain't primates, they have a completely different evolutionary history. But I'm guessing they got more of a dog-like red rocket thing going on.

Tom wrote:You know, it's been about 25 years since I read the Timothy Zahn sequel books, but I swear there was a wookie character in it that spoke english. When someone who new Chewbacca said something like "Huh, I never realized wookies could speak english, I guess Chewbacca just didn't ever learn the language", this new wookie character replied "Oh no, most can't. I just have a speech impediment that sounds like english."

Can anyone else confirm this? The books aren't good enough to revisit.


I only read the first book, I don't remember any other wookies besides Chewie.
I think I borrowed that book from you. Did I ever give it back?


Yeah, it's on my bookshelf, collecting metaclorines.

If I remember correctly, there is a Wookiee that speaks English (Basic) in the Grand Admiral Thrawn trilogy. Happens in Heir to the Empire, when Leia is sent to Kashyyyk with Chewie.

It's broken and slow, and most of the words are stretched out into growling versions of English words.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Tom on Mon May 04, 2015 6:48 pm

That's the one. I'll look at it tonight. I seem to remember him saying that it wasn't broken english, just fucked up wookie, but that seems way too stupid to be true.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Tom on Mon May 04, 2015 6:51 pm

Ok, so apparently, it was that stupid. Here is something from some Star Wars Fan site:

http://www.banthaskull.com/miaf/charact ... alrracheen

Remember how in the movies, Han always understood Chewbacca, even though his growling always kind of sounded the same? Well, it’s hard to pull that off in a book without it coming off as exhausting. So when Leia was hiding out on the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk, Ralrra was introduced as a plot device to keep those scenes from venturing into Holiday Special territory. Ralrra had an exceptionally convenient speech impediment that allowed him to speak basic.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby jimmy two hands on Mon May 04, 2015 9:37 pm

Tom wrote:Ok, so apparently, it was that stupid. Here is something from some Star Wars Fan site:

http://www.banthaskull.com/miaf/charact ... alrracheen

Remember how in the movies, Han always understood Chewbacca, even though his growling always kind of sounded the same? Well, it’s hard to pull that off in a book without it coming off as exhausting. So when Leia was hiding out on the Wookiee homeworld of Kashyyyk, Ralrra was introduced as a plot device to keep those scenes from venturing into Holiday Special territory. Ralrra had an exceptionally convenient speech impediment that allowed him to speak basic.


Damn, that's dumb. Glad I never borrowed that second book from you.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby jimmy two hands on Wed Apr 05, 2017 12:41 pm

phpBB [media]


Carl Sagan was pissed, too.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Madman Munt on Wed Apr 05, 2017 2:07 pm

jimmy two hands wrote:
circle_ruler wrote:Chewbacca is a bastard. let me clarify. he is patently an organism of human-like attributes (language, co-operation, thumbs, driving etc.) but he also has large canine teeth and we never get to see his penis - a crucial point as from his canine/dick ratio we could make some pretty robust inferences about some key behavioural traits.


Wookies ain't primates, they have a completely different evolutionary history. But I'm guessing they got more of a dog-like red rocket thing going on.


You know, I'm not sure I feel a greater kinship towards a primate's penis than that of a dog. I reckon the dog's cock-and-balls unit may be its the most human-like body part. Sometimes I'm walking along behind a dog and I'm like: "Yeah, you and me buddy, we've got genitalia!"

Thin pointy chimp dicks that look like those posh carrots you get in Marks and Spencer? I'd probably have to commit suicide if I had one of those.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby yard barf on Fri May 03, 2019 11:13 am

It's time to make this right.

CGI almost destroyed Star Wars. Now CGI has a chance to save it's soul.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Adam Sr on Fri May 03, 2019 11:50 am

They should have him turn up in the next one as a wookie skin rug.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Frank Decent on Sat May 04, 2019 1:14 am

yard barf wrote:It's time to make this right.

CGI almost destroyed Star Wars. Now CGI has a chance to save it's soul.


^This.
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Re: Snub: Chewbacca Not Getting A Medal At The End Of Star W

Postby Teacher's Pet on Tue Jan 21, 2020 2:34 pm

Fuck the bullshit, Han's medal (in Rise of Skywalker) DOESN'T COUNT.
That's a memento, not an award.
He deserves his own medal.

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