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stupidest thing a customer ever said to you...

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stupidest thing a customer ever said to you...

Postby yaledelay on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:03 pm

I have worked a few customer service jobs, so I have a few good ones...

"how big is your 8 by 10 frame?"

"how do you embroider on the golf balls?"

and I had one guy argue with me for 20 minute about printing white on a white golf tee, finally I got my boss to allow me to send him 500 white golf tees with white on them... he never called back...
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Postby Major on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:12 pm

"I'll have a latte."
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Postby Christopher_Dragon on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:21 pm

MajorEverettMiller wrote:"I'll have a latte."


and

When I worked at a Blockbuster for 2 weeks after I graduated from high school, I got this amazing line from a customer who was upset that Il Postino was subtitled.

"You mean I gotta read the movie?"
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Postby yaledelay on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:23 pm

[quote="Christopher_Dragon[/quote]

and

When I worked at a Blockbuster for 2 weeks after I graduated from high school, I got this amazing line from a customer who was upset that Il Postino was subtitled.

"You mean I gotta read the movie?"[/quote]

I knew when I came up with this thread it was going to be a good one...
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Postby Don on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:26 pm

"Will you help me?"
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Postby Rotten Tanx on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:42 pm

Girl: Can I have the number for blah blah blah?

Me: Yes, it's...

Girl: No wait! I dont have a pen!

Me: Are you on a mobile?

Girl: Yes.

Me: Well just type the number into your mobile as I read it out.

Girl: How do I do that?

Me: Well, for example, I say "three" and you press the button that says three.
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Postby Pigeon on Wed Nov 02, 2005 6:59 pm

When I worked at Mchellhole in high school the best was: "For here or to go?" their response: "Yeah"
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Postby BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:02 pm

I've been working in record stores for the most part of the last 16 years.

I was -just- thinking about starting a thread like this after, for the 900th time, when I asked a customer "Do you want a bag for those?"and the response was "Yeah, if you've got one..."

OF FUCKING COURSE I HAVE ONE! Why would I ask if you wanted a bag if I didn't have any? Does it look like I'm taking a survey? Where's my clipboard then?


Another thing I fucking HATE, being on the customer side of the counter, is that 99% of the businesses I go in to:

Why do they always insist on handing you your bills with the CHANGE ON TOP OF THE BILLS? Who decided this was a good idea? How many times has the retard behind the counter spilled your change all over the fucking place because it slid off the bills. ME? I hand the person the coins, let them put them in their pocket, THEN I give them the bills. Makes sense to me...


Ok, so some other things I get a lot:

"Do you guys rent CDs?" (illegal... ever seen a "CD rental" store?)
"Do you play all the CDs to make sure they don't skip?" (6000+ in stock)
"Do you have that song that goes, "Ohhhh, baby! You know I been missin' you since you gone!" "
"Do you buy CDs?" (It's a used CD store...)
"What are your hours?" 11-9 "11am?"
"How much are the CDs?" (100+ neon colored signs in the store that say "price inside the case!")
"If I bring a CD from home, can I trade it for another one?"
"Do you guys have LPs?" (takes 2 seconds to realize we don't by looking)
"Why can't you use my Spin Doctors CD?"

Last week: "Can you turn the heat up? I'm cold" (65° out, wearing jacket, winter hat)

People yelling in to their cell phone "Hey buddy, can you turn the music down?" That's when I turn the cell phone jammer on :)


I'm sure there are 100 more, some of which should be on top of my list... but I can't think of them at the moment.
Last edited by BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:11 pm, edited 4 times in total.
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Postby BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:05 pm

Pigeon wrote:When I worked at Mchellhole in high school the best was: "For here or to go?" their response: "Yeah"


Priceless. Just like that scene in Ferris Bueller's Day off when that child molester guy that played the principal (Jeffrey Jones) walked up to the guy behind the counter and asks "What's the score?" when seeing the Cubs came on. "nothin' ta nothin'" "Who's winning?" "..... the Bears"
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Postby vatluggen on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:07 pm

A few years back when i was working at a café a woman asked me were the toilet was.
me:down the stairs then the first door to the left.
She: ohh you mean the door with the sign that says "toilet"
Me:YES
She:No but that one is locked(it was obviously occupied)
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Postby tommydski on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:08 pm

when i was at school i had a part-time job at Toys R Us.
i recall on several occasions people asked me where the restaurant was. i recall once i asked if they ever went into burger king and enquired where the lego was?

i now work in a bar part-time while i'm at university.
yesterday a man asked for a lemonade shandy. for some reason he seemed rather puzzled when i handed him a pint of lemonade.
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Postby Christopher_Dragon on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:18 pm

BadComrade wrote:"Do you have that song that goes, "Ohhhh, baby! You know I been missin' you since you gone!"


I love doing to this to the fine folks at my local shop because they know that I'm just mocking the imbeciles that go in there..
It's even better when you just hum them the melody line.
Even better than that is when you hum one the instruments' parts.
I find the drums work best.

"Do you have that CD with the song that has the drum part on it that goes
boosh booshbooshboosh crack"


I also enjoy asking them if they have movies that just got released in the theater on the day they get released.
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Postby Braden on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:19 pm

BadComrade wrote:Why do they always insist on handing you your bills with the CHANGE ON TOP OF THE BILLS? Who decided this was a good idea? How many times has the retard behind the counter spilled your change all over the fucking place because it slid off the bills.


Ha ha.

Second only to when they slam the change down on the counter and you're left picking up each individual coin like a scavenger!
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Postby thebookofkevin on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:24 pm

tommydski wrote:i now work in a bar part-time while i'm at university.
yesterday a man asked for a lemonade shandy. for some reason he seemed rather puzzled when i handed him a pint of lemonade.


ahem...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shandy



he was after half lemonade, half beer.

next time recommend a Turbo Shandy (half smirnoff ice/mikes/whatever alcoholic lemonade, half beer)
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Postby BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:27 pm

Yeah... I'll get the occasional money tosser / credit card tosser who seems to interact with people like that feathered blonde haired douche that used to always play the antagonist in all those 80's movies... the Karate Kid, etc... forget his name.

So yeah... when people toss their credit card at me, I always run it through the machine, and then I wing it off the counter top so they have to pick it up off the floor. I've never said "Ooops, sorry" and I've never had anyone say a thing about it when they're grabbing it off the floor.

I also once had a guy that would come in to listen to CDs a lot. When he was done with a CD, instead of walking over to me and saying "This is pretty good, I'll take it" or "Eh, I didn't like this, thanks though..." he would whistle at me. Like you'd whistle at a dog. He was an older guy, so I let it go for a long time. Then one day, I said "If you fucking whistle at me again, I'm going to punch you in the fucking face" He apologized, possibly thinking that I'd counter with one, saying something to the effect of "Yeah, I'm sorry... that was out of line" but I just said something like "Yeah, I don't appreciate being summoned like an animal"

More to come I'm sure....
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Postby Braden on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:30 pm

There was one time a lady called up and asked if we sold travel cases. I explained that we could order them in but would need some dimensions to get a better idea of what she was looking at cost wise. She explained to me that the object was a spherical and very delicate, and kept on repeating those words whenever I'd poke a little deeper to find out exactly what she was doing. After I took down her name and number it struck me, my suspitions were true; she was one of those pyschic radio personalities and needed a case to carry her crystal ball onboard planes. I just thought it was funny how she avoided at all costs using the words 'crystal ball'.

I wonder if she knows I'm writing this about her...
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Postby greg on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:45 pm

People yelling in to their cell phone "Hey buddy, can you turn the music down?" That's when I turn the cell phone jammer on

Does that work?
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Postby BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:54 pm

Yeah it works really well indoors. There's only one cell phone it hasn't worked on, and it's my friend's cell phone, which is so old I can't believe it still works. Outside, the cell tower signals are stronger, so I guess it doesn't work too well.

The guy I work for bought it from some guy in the U.K. He paid about $400 for the thing after reading about how they were selling like "hot cakes" in New York. I guess there's a newer model out with more wattage that he's thinking of buying. He occasionally will use it on the train on the way home, for a quiet ride. It's made to look like a cellphone from a distance, too. The only thing that's odd is that it's got 2 antennas on top of it. All it does is send out a "blank" cell signal from what I can tell. The person's cell will show that it's getting a full signal, it just won't ever connect.
Last edited by BadComrade on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:55 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby glynnisjohns on Wed Nov 02, 2005 7:55 pm

BadComrade wrote:
People yelling in to their cell phone "Hey buddy, can you turn the music down?" :).


I actually save up all the anger i have for this one. So i can tell the jackass "no" Take it outside Danzig!

I think i have told this story before but a woman asked me if we had the
Police album in stock that had Sting singing on it.

i was, and still am baffled by this question.

Or "Led Zeppellin is that filed under L or Z?"
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Postby kerble on Wed Nov 02, 2005 8:06 pm

customer: "Do you have the Black King?"
me: "the what?"
customer: "the Black King"
me: "the what?"
customer: "you know, the movie with the Rock in it?"
me: "Oh.....you mean the Scorpion King, nooooo, that's still in the theater"

seriously, people think that just because they see something on tv, they can come down to the store and buy it.

customer: "Do you have Jacklugh (this is an approximation Jaa-Kloo?)"
me: "pardon me?"
customer: "I'm looking for Jacklugh"
me: "We have Earl Klugh, is that what you're looking for?"
customer: "no. Jacklugh"
me: "can you spell that?"
customer: "no."

(repeat same conversation for three other occasions).

customer: "Can you help me find a record?"
me: "sure."
customer: "I'm looking for this band, some of the songs are instrumental, some of them have lyrics, and there's a guy singing."
me: "uh....."
customer: "do you know which record I'm talking about?"
me: [blinking repeatedly]

customer: "Do you have Fern Gully?"
me: "yes, here it is."
customer: "thank you."
me: "you're welcome."


idiots.
kerble is right.
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