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Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby bishopdante on Sun Apr 24, 2016 6:28 pm

geiginni wrote:
Pure L wrote:
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Well... what happens if you take a synthaxe and blend that with a USB rubber-dome keyboard? You get this rancid little programmable auto-harp.

It's not completely un-clever. Rubber-dome keys are useless for music, because they have no time-accuracy and no velocity sensitivity. This plastic nightmare borrows the synthaxe design scheme to get around it, where the note-triggering is done with some plasticky strings, and the note-selection is done with the left hand. It's like a super-cheaped-on synthaxe.

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^ if somebody gave me one of those, I'd totally plug it into the computer and see what nightmares could be created. I'd probably even pay anything up to £30 for one in good working order.

This plastic object might even be a mildly useful synth controller of some sort, for making electronic music, but I'd bet the build quality is plastic-consumer as hell. The design is pretty crappy, as a controller. They'd have been better off using a single 2D capacitive sensor instead of all that moving rubber. That'd actually work as a fretless guitar-thing, and could be programmed to make life easy for idiots or to do wildly complicated microtonal stuff, and would have timing accuracy on the left hand.

However, in terms of is it playable as an instrument... often attempts to automate things for people turn out really complicated. That thing looks as hard as an auto-harp or accordion. Automatic chords... too many buttons. As a guitar player, I don't like that sort of thing, it's complicated and confusing. That's a lot of buttons, and the relationships between them are presumably arbitrary and assignable. Sure, for a three-chord song three buttons is OK. Is this just a guitar-hero controller with more buttons?

For karaoke purposes it's perhaps viable, but so is any casio keyboard.

As an experimental MIDI controller it might be hacked to do something... if the strings are velocity sensitive and individually addressable... could play some proper tear-your-head-off jungle with that, with each button on the neck working as a different drum bank... could be quite interesting... but there's no way I'd ever do that in front of an audience live. No matter how many stickers, or how much you pay me. This is really a percussion controller. One of limited scope and tragically uncool skeuomorphic shape, with accordion buttons.

...but the marketed purpose of the device is novelty shite. Disgusting shameful karaoke. The actual pre-programmed sound it makes is really nasty. That's not what's good about guitars, even if people can only play a few chords, it's got an enticing naturally varying sound: guitars are an acoustic instrument which can make a thousand different sounds from a single note.

Same problem with any form of plastic piano. It doesn't do that thing that a real piano does, as a result of its complicated string dynamics and acoustics, where each time you play a note the sound is never the same, "its own snowflake". This has a horrible plastic consistency that is as obnoxious and unmusical as GM MIDI.

Crap.

Hackable WF, but only slightly better than a qwerty keyboard.

Meet an actual digital controller that a musician might be able to work with, that isn't totally dissimilar in its design... and is basically its own weird instrument that has to be learned :

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Looks like a massive headache and the vanilla-synthesizer tones are obnoxious, but the whole barrier with electronic music is how to control the electronics in a less button-pushing / sequencing fashion, and actually be able to play the thing... so new sorts of controllers are welcome.

Chances are the interfaces will be just as hard to play if not harder to play than conventional instruments.

Easiest instrument to play is a CD player or iPod. Simple push-button action, lots of pre-programmed sound. Give up control, easy music. Take control... more effort required. Simple trade-off, really.

The "easy-guitar" is one-up from a karaoke machine, or casio "single finger" accompaniment keyboard. I'd rather those people just played records.

Sure, there's probably a place for the computerised hurdy-gurdy for sing-along accompaniment. There have been lots already.

"ow... so painful... those metal strings hurt my fingers... this is so much better than a guitar..." that line of thinking can fuck right off. Guarantee you the factory where they make those things... oh we can be very sure the shenzhen factory workers don't think like that.

With any commitment of material resources... got to question... is it worth the effort? In this case, I don't think this device has a right to exist.

This precision instrument here:

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That's got a right to exist. Not made as a toy on the cheap, or designed to replicate the function of an acoustic instrument but with dumbed down features. It's designed as a sensor or controller, and can be put to arbitrary use. You'd probably see more people with those if it wasn't really difficult and expensive to build a precision sensor with a lot of timing accuracy. They cost quite a lot more than a guitar.

______

In 1981... Casio made this:

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Horrible plastic object. Years back I found one in a guitar shop and I had to have a mess around with it. It was really, really terrifyingly plastic, and sounded horrendous.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby smud on Sun Apr 24, 2016 7:20 pm

weezy wrote:
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I am genuinely surprised at how terrible this is. Flea has been playing music professionally longer than I've been alive. He might not be tasteful, but at least he's competent. Is he intentionally playing like he didn't bother to practice? Why does this sound like some 15 year old at Guitar Center? Why did he go with the "fart-echoing-off-a-cupped-hand" tone? I wonder if he left the court embarrassed with himself.

Those cuts to Kobe's contemplative mug with Flea squeaking out rancid ass wind in the background is some great comedy though.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Anthony Flack on Sun Apr 24, 2016 7:56 pm

Perhaps as he stood there next to his roaring full stack he felt that what he was doing was a good deal more majestic than what was captured through the DI, which sounds more like a stylophone that's been dropped in the bath.

Best bits are from 1:35 to 1:50, where he starts playing some fast triplets and rolling his head around like he is rocking the fuck out, and then tries to do a descending arpeggio that ends up on the wrong chord so he just goes blaw-waw-waw-waw
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby N1ck on Tue May 03, 2016 7:25 pm

Ya'll see the video of this dad boxing the fuck out of his kid for skipping school? Pretty fucked up. The kid's bleeding profusely...

https://www.facebook.com/firstbtnomb/vi ... 722605880/
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Get dog costumes on Wed May 11, 2016 12:42 pm

What about

a Barack Obama cover band called Let Me Be Clear
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Redline on Wed May 11, 2016 1:36 pm

N1ck wrote:
Ya'll see the video of this dad boxing the fuck out of his kid for skipping school? Pretty fucked up. The kid's bleeding profusely...

https://www.facebook.com/firstbtnomb/vi ... 722605880/

I've seen many people garner multiple felony charges for less than that...
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby righthanded on Wed May 11, 2016 2:02 pm

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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Evanc521 on Tue May 17, 2016 3:25 pm

Either this is the world's most elaborate trolling or the guy behind it is seriously unhinged.
http://www.machinadynamica.com/index.html
Last edited by Evanc521 on Tue May 17, 2016 5:57 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Anthony Flack on Tue May 17, 2016 4:28 pm

I was curious as to why he was selling stickers to put over all your bar codes (apart from the obvious reason that if you can convince people to put stickers over all the bar codes in their house you can sell them a lot of stickers). I think it has something to do with this:

Yes, it's our old friend, Information Fields, that's the problem. It's the thing itself AND the INFORMATION ABOUT THE THING, the meta data you could say. The information field is produced by the sum total of all like objects, for example things that are long and slender, things that are hollow, things that are blue, would all produce their own information fields. Thus, an object that is long and slender AND blue would be associated with, be linked to, a specific information field, a morphic field, shared by all long, slender and blue things. And the more there are the more powerful the information field. Words, phrases, books and other media like CDs and records also produce their own type of information field. And the electonic devices that bring information into the home produce fields as well - e.g., televisions, computers, iPads and cell phones. It was recently reported there are 7.3 billion active cell phones worldwide as of 2014. That would be one big honking information field! So, anyway, what we have here is a land line phone or cell phone the very presence of which, even though it's not even turned ON, causes the listener to perceive the sound as worse than it actually is. Any guest in the room will also perceive the sound as worse than it actually is. The guest would also perceive the sound as improved after the phone has been treated.


Seems like this dude has a pretty good scam to get rid of all his old junk. Want to buy this old portable AM/FM radio? Of course you do, it's been 'hot-rodded'.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby brephophagist on Wed May 18, 2016 8:32 pm

Evanc521 wrote:Either this is the world's most elaborate trolling or the guy behind it is seriously unhinged.
http://www.machinadynamica.com/index.html

My friend, do I have the thread for you!
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby jimmy two hands on Sun May 29, 2016 10:11 am

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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Major on Sun May 29, 2016 11:18 am

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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Frank Decent on Sun May 29, 2016 11:08 pm

Major wrote:
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The fuck was that even? "Hi, I'm captain Shithead. Look how great I am! The end."
A passion for being a douche. Imagine talking to this dude for like 10 minutes. What a hell that would be.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby a leg plaster on Mon May 30, 2016 2:58 am

That Queensryche singer/entrepreneur video is some kind of hilarious/awful/embarrassing hybrid that never fails to make me lose my shit whenever I remember it exists. I can't remember where it was posted before on here, but it's never an unwelcome addition of dumbshit. I actually came to post something sort of similar:
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A FM had posted it in the Oasis thread that I had just drunkenly scrolled through late last night because of some recent listening of their first two albums (yeah, I said it). Laughed way too hard at some of it.

Frank Decent wrote:Imagine talking to this dude for like 10 minutes. What a hell that would be.

Seriously. But we're probably all a little more tainted from having watched the whole thing through in the first place.
(exaggeration)
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Adam Sr on Mon May 30, 2016 4:07 am

a leg plaster wrote:That Queensryche singer/entrepreneur video is some kind of hilarious/awful/embarrassing hybrid that never fails to make me lose my shit whenever I remember it exists. I can't remember where it was posted before on here, but it's never an unwelcome addition of dumbshit.


I might have discovered it, but I can't remember how or where. Maybe it was on the PRF already.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Evanc521 on Tue May 31, 2016 9:44 pm

Uuuuuggghhhhh
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby biscuitdough on Wed Jun 01, 2016 7:00 am

His voice makes me never want to explain anything again
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Evanc521 on Wed Jun 01, 2016 11:30 am

the horror..
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby offal on Wed Jun 01, 2016 3:06 pm

biscuitdough wrote:His voice makes me never want to explain anything again


That, and his drumming makes me want to never touch a kit again. Jesus.
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Re: Seriously Compressing the Dumbshit

Postby Evanc521 on Wed Jun 01, 2016 6:36 pm

offal wrote:
biscuitdough wrote:His voice makes me never want to explain anything again


That, and his drumming makes me want to never touch a kit again. Jesus.


He reeks of a Fred Armisen character
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