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Hilarious Joke

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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Me Again on Mon Mar 05, 2018 10:49 pm

I, too, have a G.G. Allin-related joke. It's even more of a groaner than Bats' upthread, and though it's definitely dumb I'll share it. Here goes...


It’s the first day of spring. An anarcho-punk sort of guy who’s a member of Antifa is traveling in a run-down pick-up truck through La Crosse, Wisconsin. He’s on his way to the punk house that him an seven other friends of his have just bought in North East Minneapolis. The house is definitely a fixer upper, in need of renovations. Each member of the new household is responsible for one aspect of the house’s improvement, and it’s his job to soup up the lawn which is mostly dirt and weeds now and in an abject state of disrepair.

As he drives down I-90 the anarcho-punk notices a sign for a nearby Menard’s and decides to stop there to pick up some fresh sod. He pulls into the parking lot, parks his truck, and makes his way to the back of the store to the Menard’s Garden Center where he assumes the sod will be. But it’s been an uncharacteristically beautiful day and it seems all the green thumbs in the area have beaten him to the punch as there’s no sod anywhere in sight. The anarcho-punk finds a store clerk nearby and says, “Do you guys have any sod?”

“We got cleaned out about twenty minutes ago,” says the clerk plaintively, “but there’s a pallet of MAGA Sod that’ll be dropped off here in about two minutes. The shipment just came in, it was personally delivered by the company’s owner.”

“MAGA Sod,” the anarcho punk says outloud, half to himself, “I’ve never heard of that before.”

“It’s a new company,” says the clerk, just as the beep-beep of a forklift is heard approaching and seconds later the pallet of sod is dropped off and readied for sale.

The anarcho-punk looks at the off-brand sod festooned with American flags and bald eagle imagery. It’s the only sod in sight but he’s not sure if it’s good enough.

“This is the only sod here, but I wonder, does it do the trick as well as the more popular stuff? Do that many people buy it?”

Just then a man in a tan sport coat, blue button-down shirt, penny loafers, and bright red “Make America Great Again” cap puts his hand gently on the ararcho-punk’s shoulder. The anarcho-punk turns around and notices the man, who he assumes is MAGA Sod’s owner, looking briefly at his tattered G.G. Allin shirt.

Before the store clerk can reply the company’s owner blurts out, “CUCK, MY GRASS, IT SELLS!!!”
...with Euro-Sprockets coming at you from every direction.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby total_douche on Tue Mar 06, 2018 1:51 am

Boombats wrote:No, my experiences would not be the same because I have also experienced all that which came before your cohort and after the inception of mine. That does not mean that I stopped experiencing, observing and understanding things once yours came about, nor does it mean that mine is de facto incomprehensible to you. However I would assert that one has a better chance of seeing the big picture when one has had more time to look upon it all. It was certainly considered by popular society to be more laughable for a man to call himself a feminist in the 80's and 90's than it is today, and in these short years since I know it has become trite for woke bros to take on the Male Feminist mantle. That does not mean that being a man and supporting the fight for equality is now null and void just because of virtue-signalling PUAs.

You are right, of course. Sometimes I get a little caught up in my frustration of the moment.

Anthony Flack wrote:Maybe stop going around identifying yourself then. Who needs labels anyway? Other people can make up their own minds about what they think you are.

I tend to think of feminism being something that you do. Like being a musician. If you're out doing it, you don't need to worry about what you call yourself. I am suspicious of the David Cameron kind of "feminism" which you can wear like a T-shirt but doesn't manifest as anything in particular. Like calling yourself a musician but never going out and playing.

People don't need to "be" things, just DO things.


That's a good way of looking at it, I generally don't like to advertise, but sometimes it comes out. Sometimes I have to explain to people that you can be a man and a feminist. Sometimes, in discussing social hierarchy, I bring up things that don't sit well with some feminists (like the ability of persons to have multiple oppressed identities) and have to clarify that I still come from a feminist stance. I am also a social work student. Baring our identities and biases is just something we have to do. We have to explore those things so that we don't end up oppressing people. The profession has a long and dark history with this, and there are parallels in early feminism - Jane Addams was a monumental feminist and social worker, for example, but she was a racist, and directly responsible for rhetoric about minority men that Donald Trump is still pushing today.

I dunno. I feel better now. Thanks for reading my horseshit.

Anyway.

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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby hayate on Tue Mar 06, 2018 9:09 am

knee thlapperz



Whats the difference between a piccolo and a dog whistle?

A dog whistle irritates only one species.


What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.


Whats the difference between a politician and a flying pig?

Fffffffff
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Janeway on Tue Mar 06, 2018 11:55 am

Me Again wrote:I, too, have a G.G. Allin-related joke. It's even more of a groaner than Bats' upthread, and though it's definitely dumb I'll share it. Here goes...


It’s the first day of spring. An anarcho-punk sort of guy who’s a member of Antifa is traveling in a run-down pick-up truck through La Crosse, Wisconsin. He’s on his way to the punk house that him an seven other friends of his have just bought in North East Minneapolis. The house is definitely a fixer upper, in need of renovations. Each member of the new household is responsible for one aspect of the house’s improvement, and it’s his job to soup up the lawn which is mostly dirt and weeds now and in an abject state of disrepair.

As he drives down I-90 the anarcho-punk notices a sign for a nearby Menard’s and decides to stop there to pick up some fresh sod. He pulls into the parking lot, parks his truck, and makes his way to the back of the store to the Menard’s Garden Center where he assumes the sod will be. But it’s been an uncharacteristically beautiful day and it seems all the green thumbs in the area have beaten him to the punch as there’s no sod anywhere in sight. The anarcho-punk finds a store clerk nearby and says, “Do you guys have any sod?”

“We got cleaned out about twenty minutes ago,” says the clerk plaintively, “but there’s a pallet of MAGA Sod that’ll be dropped off here in about two minutes. The shipment just came in, it was personally delivered by the company’s owner.”

“MAGA Sod,” the anarcho punk says outloud, half to himself, “I’ve never heard of that before.”

“It’s a new company,” says the clerk, just as the beep-beep of a forklift is heard approaching and seconds later the pallet of sod is dropped off and readied for sale.

The anarcho-punk looks at the off-brand sod festooned with American flags and bald eagle imagery. It’s the only sod in sight but he’s not sure if it’s good enough.

“This is the only sod here, but I wonder, does it do the trick as well as the more popular stuff? Do that many people buy it?”

Just then a man in a tan sport coat, blue button-down shirt, penny loafers, and bright red “Make America Great Again” cap puts his hand gently on the ararcho-punk’s shoulder. The anarcho-punk turns around and notices the man, who he assumes is MAGA Sod’s owner, looking briefly at his tattered G.G. Allin shirt.

Before the store clerk can reply the company’s owner blurts out, “CUCK, MY GRASS, IT SELLS!!!”



haha this made me laugh out loud, i just kept thinking like "okay how is this going to end?' haha and then the g.g. allin mention was there cause it was his shirt and them boom, and then it was over and i laughed out haha
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Me Again on Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:05 pm

Thanks, Janeway. *tips hat*
...with Euro-Sprockets coming at you from every direction.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby zircona1 on Tue Mar 06, 2018 2:55 pm

hayate wrote:knee thlapperz

What do you call a dog with no legs?

Doesn’t matter what you call him, he’s not coming.



What do you do with a dog with no legs?

Take it for a drag.

What do you do with a bird with no wings?

Take it for a spin.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby hayate on Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:24 pm

whoa whoa. thats like, animal abuse, dude? like
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Major on Tue Mar 06, 2018 4:30 pm

Why did the guitarist go to jail?

He got caught fingering A minor
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Madman Munt on Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:33 pm

Why does Pete Townshend play a corny red Strat?

Image

Because he's a paedophile!
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Redline on Wed Mar 07, 2018 1:48 pm

What does a ten year old girl from Kentucky have in common with the Unabomber?

They were both fingered by their brother.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby jimmy two hands on Wed Mar 07, 2018 2:49 pm

A guy comes into the doctor's office on a skateboard. He's got green dreadlocks pushed up into a mohawk, he's wearing wraparound sunglasses and a Brokencyde t-shirt and he's chugging a can of Monster energy drink. Doctor says, "what's wrong?" The guy says, "I'm fuckin' siiiiiiiiick, bro!"
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Anthony Flack on Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:05 pm

Did Jimmy Page start playing a strat after becoming a pedophile, or did he become a pedophile after he started playing a strat?
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Anthony Flack on Wed Mar 07, 2018 4:07 pm

jimmy two hands wrote:The guy says, "I'm fuckin' siiiiiiiiick, bro!"


Check out my arthritis, it's gnarly.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Redline on Wed Mar 07, 2018 5:46 pm

Anthony Flack wrote:Did Jimmy Page start playing a strat after becoming a pedophile, or did he become a pedophile after he started playing a strat?

I'm pretty sure Jimmy Page had dumped Pamela Ann Miller for 14 year old Lori Maddox before he played a Stratocaster.

The more important question is how do you switch from playing late 50's Les Paul Standards to a wonky new Strat?

Heroin.

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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby gaetano on Sun Mar 25, 2018 11:11 am

.
Last edited by gaetano on Tue Apr 10, 2018 12:30 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Adam Sr on Wed Mar 28, 2018 7:08 am

phpBB [media]
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Apr 09, 2018 5:09 am

When someone tells you to drive carefully in wet conditions, when you already ARE driving carefully, that's called hydrosplaining.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Apr 09, 2018 6:11 am

The quantum of solace has been detected; they're calling it the Hugs boson.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby jimmy two hands on Mon Apr 09, 2018 9:26 am

What's the best part about fucking twenty seven year olds?



By the time someone has reached the age of twenty seven, they have most likely fucked many times with multiple sex partners and have gotten good at sex fucking.
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Re: Hilarious Joke

Postby Trey on Mon Apr 09, 2018 7:00 pm

Good one, Jimmy.
I'm like, whatever, it's fucking Houlihan

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