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The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

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The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby Jodi S. on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:16 pm

OK, so there seems to not be one (I searched, I did!) so I'm starting one.

We're a bunch of smart people here. I'm thinking that the collective smarts here can surely improve résumés that are lacking something - whether it's clarity, organization, or another way to say "I sat and typed invoices for 8 hours a day."

I'm also starting this thread because I know a lot of people 'round these parts have jobs they're not 100% thrilled with, but might feel stuck in. Maybe this will be a confidence booster for those people.
Last edited by Jodi S. on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:21 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé Help Thread

Postby Jodi S. on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:20 pm

I'll start, since I am selfish:

I'm fine-tuning my paperwork after not looking for a job for more than 5 years. I should have done this much, much sooner, but I didn't.

The problems I am having, in brief:

1) Expressing in a short summary statement that even though I've had jobs in about 5 different industries, that I've learned things from each of them that I continue to apply in my current field - and will do so in the future.

2) Deciding how to format my actual résumé. I have it organized by skills first, then actual jobs/time periods because I've had some employment gaps, and I feel like the skills are more important for a potential employer to see than the laundry list of media companies I've done time at.

Thoughts?
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby Marsupialized on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:34 pm

How would you highlight penis size on a resume without looking like you are bragging?
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé Help Thread

Postby kerble on Wed Feb 22, 2012 2:59 pm

Heya Jodi!

1) Expressing in a short summary statement that even though I've had jobs in about 5 different industries, that I've learned things from each of them that I continue to apply in my current field - and will do so in the future.


The line that I've made bold seems like it would work really well verbatim. maybe a tighten-up, but it's clear and conversational. Having this follow your one-sentence overview of your skills would probably work.

Jodi S. wrote:2) Deciding how to format my actual résumé. I have it organized by skills first, then actual jobs/time periods because I've had some employment gaps, and I feel like the skills are more important for a potential employer to see than the laundry list of media companies I've done time at.

Thoughts?


Skills first is a great way to go. I would almost even file the relevant jobs under each skill and skip out on the employment timeline altogether.

I'll take a look at the resume you sent me earlier, and will write you soon.


gluck!


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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby kerble on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:00 pm

Marsupialized wrote:How would you highlight penis size on a resume without looking like you are bragging?


In blue or green, usually. The Style-Guide says that orange or yellow highlighting is a little boastful. Red's the wild-card, as some cultures see it as negative.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby geiginni on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:02 pm

Marsupialized wrote:How would you highlight penis size on a resume without looking like you are bragging?


Print on a fine rag cotton paper stock, where the cut paper size height, width and thus aspect ratio clearly depicts actual length x girth.

If nature has not been kind to you, concise organization can be your friend, and hopefully work to your advantage.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby Marsupialized on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:06 pm

How do you guys feel about a scratch and sniff resume? Too gimmicky? What about making it in pop up book form? Or 'choose your own adventure'?
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby itchy mcgoo on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:14 pm

I would organize by skills.

Also, in addition to making a giant list of those skills for yourself, I would back away and see the big picture of what you did in common for all five industries. Note the adjectives here as well as the verbs.

And then distill it into something like "Experienced at crafting solutions in a multitude of creative environments by using extensive technical knowledge and project management skills".

You will punch yourself in the face. You will write one word every four minutes. And then delete it. Then you will cruise around linkedin and peep other peoples explanations of what they do. You will implement this knowledge. You will then have resume 1 of 140. The you will do this all over again for cover letters, which are worse.

Other advice:
-Open a new email account for just this purpose and use your name. Not JoePedo69@omgmail.com
-Email every version of your resume and cover letters to yourself with the company and job title as the subject.
-Send out your resume as a pdf
-Talk to everyone you know
-Email everyone you know your resume and what you have done and would like to do (I did this in December and Faiz emailed me about a job last week! (mille grazi, kerble))
-Keep it positive. Mention you want to make a change, not that you are ready to kill yourself, even to friends and acquaintances. This is important.
-But some lovely Thank you notes and use that shit
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby BadComrade on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:23 pm

There was a segment on 60 Minutes that covered joblessness. At one point in the segment, an "expert" said that resumes aren't what you should be totally focused on. He basically said that you need a presence online, because that's the first place someone is going to check when they're thinking about employing you.


Here's the segment:

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id= ... ryMediaBox
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby kerble on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:35 pm

itchy mcking wrote:-Email everyone you know your resume and what you have done and would like to do (I did this in December and Faiz emailed me about a job last week! (mille grazi, kerble))


you bet! I heard about a job that ms. mcking would be perfect for and passed it on. Your friends will do the same if you ask them, Jodi.

BadComrade wrote:There was a segment on 60 Minutes that covered joblessness. At one point in the segment, an "expert" said that resumes aren't what you should be totally focused on. He basically said that you need a presence online, because that's the first place someone is going to check when they're thinking about employing you.


I believe this 100% I haven't updated my paper resume since 2007, but have made a bunch of websites, booklets and more fun examples of work to get work. the visual, tactile stuff often conveys 'what you do' better than a list. potential employers are more likely to browse through something online than read a standard resume. though they will be more likely to read your resume if they like your site.

I did this magazine portfolio in 2009:
http://issuu.com/kerble/docs/faiz_iv

and just got around to turning it into a website a few months ago.
The website is far more flexible and easy to update than the magazine, but you could easily build them in tandem.
Last edited by kerble on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby lebkuchen on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:36 pm

Marsupialized wrote:How would you highlight penis size on a resume without looking like you are bragging?

Marsupialized wrote:What about making it in pop up book form?

You answered your own question.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby Marsupialized on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:42 pm

What about a video resume?

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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby BadComrade on Wed Feb 22, 2012 3:59 pm

We had a guy give us a cassette as a resume at Record Swap. My friend still has it. He told us what kind of music he was in to, walked away from the tape recorder to play some Misfits on his guitar... all sorts of shit. I remember it being pretty incredible but I haven't heard it in 21 years.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby madmanmunt on Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:02 pm

itchy mcgoo wrote:

And then distill it into something like "Experienced at crafting solutions in a multitude of creative environments by using extensive technical knowledge and project management skills".

You will punch yourself in the face.


You should if you write something like that almost entirely meaningless sentence.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby Marsupialized on Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:10 pm

BadComrade wrote:There was a segment on 60 Minutes that covered joblessness. At one point in the segment, an "expert" said that resumes aren't what you should be totally focused on. He basically said that you need a presence online, because that's the first place someone is going to check when they're thinking about employing you.


Oh man, I can't wait till I get to answer questions like 'So what exactly is a Beastqueef?' in interviews
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé Help Thread

Postby Carl on Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:56 pm

Jodi S. wrote:Thoughts?


1. What job do you want to have?

2. If you have a clear answer to #1, do the employers in that field value particular aspects of your experience (portfolio/terminal degree or certificate/specific skills)?

Whatever the answer to #2 is, lead with it. In some cases, an employer has specific minimum requirements that need to be satisfied regardless of skills. Those should go first, so the person shuffling through however many résumés can put yours on the top of the "consider" pile. When I've been in charge of a hire, I've appreciated the applications that clearly emphasize the core requirements stated in the ad.

Marsupialized wrote:How would you highlight penis size on a resume without looking like you are bragging?


If it's been employed much, put it under Skills or Experience. If not, add a Goals entry at the top of the page and put it there.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby itchy mcgoo on Wed Feb 22, 2012 4:59 pm

madmanmunt wrote:You should if you write something like that almost entirely meaningless sentence.


It appears we are both drunk.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby madmanmunt on Wed Feb 22, 2012 5:51 pm

itchy mcgoo wrote:
madmanmunt wrote:You should if you write something like that almost entirely meaningless sentence.


It appears we are both drunk.


Ok, for all the non-drunk job-seekers out there, let's make it absolutely clear:

If you write a sentence in your résumé as meaningless as this one:
itchy mcgoo wrote:"Experienced at crafting solutions in a multitude of creative environments by using extensive technical knowledge and project management skills"

you should punch yourself in the face.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé Help Thread

Postby noise&light on Thu Feb 23, 2012 7:47 am

Jodi S. wrote:1) Expressing in a short summary statement that even though I've had jobs in about 5 different industries, that I've learned things from each of them that I continue to apply in my current field - and will do so in the future.


It's already been stated a couple different ways but this is where the bio becomes important. It should be 2 to 3 sentences that basically makes sense of all the other information on the page that just reads as data. It's where you make connections between the different jobs and the skills that you have. This is where you decipher the information and have it make sense to an employer. It's where someone sees your jobs as a history and not a random series of events.


kerble wrote:
1) Expressing in a short summary statement that even though I've had jobs in about 5 different industries, that I've learned things from each of them that I continue to apply in my current field - and will do so in the future.

The line that I've made bold seems like it would work really well verbatim. maybe a tighten-up, but it's clear and conversational. Having this follow your one-sentence overview of your skills would probably work.


itchy mcgoo wrote:Also, in addition to making a giant list of those skills for yourself, I would back away and see the big picture of what you did in common for all five industries. Note the adjectives here as well as the verbs.


Just like these folks said.
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Re: The Fearsome And Mammoth Résumé/Cover Letter Help Thread

Postby noise&light on Thu Feb 23, 2012 10:45 am

I was wondering if anyone knew whether it was still standard practice to use a 1 page résumé or whether spreading out to a second page was acceptable.
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