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Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bishopdante on Mon Nov 06, 2017 11:43 pm

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He really does dress exactly like the banking crew from Hong Kong / Singapore, you will find 'em near the marina.

I'm not kidding. That's exactly the look.

In collector mode he seems fairly harmless, even if obviously blissfully unaware of globalisation / civil rights / fascism / ww1 etc.

bishopdante wrote:
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Skip to about 3 mins for the zoom in... and check the sweat patch on his suit jacket. Simply mind boggling.

I've only seen that look on middle aged bankers with serious class A drug problems in Asia past 2am, round about the time of the credit crunch.
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." - Bertrand Russell
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Bernardo on Tue Nov 07, 2017 12:25 am

The sweat on the jacket is such a perfect distillation of why that look is so stupid.

Over the years I've known of some specific people who are huge Joe Bonamassa fans, and without listening to a note he played or reading a single word about him I knew that fan base meant his music was every bit as good as my first glimpse into JB-dome, which was the ZZ Top cover. I couldn't be bothered past minute three, though. Watching him through that intro I could only wonder what would drive someone to cheer for that person, as opposed to trying to hit him with the largest rocks they could manage to throw.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby rappard on Tue Nov 07, 2017 7:21 am

bishopdante wrote:
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I managed around two minutes until:
Joe Bonacokehead wrote:[...] Steven Seagal, my friend, the actor [...]
Robert Bork wrote:[S]ome of the worst rappers are white, like Nine Inch Nails.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Redline on Tue Nov 07, 2017 8:04 am

Anthony Flack wrote:
rappard wrote:YouTube's "Up next" suggestions after this video lead to even more entertaining material.

If you can make it through all 459 seconds of "Joe Bonamassa sound check: backstage tips" (no way I'm linking that) you should really move to your natural habitat.


Aw, for me YouTube just throws up a bunch more videos of Hamer guitars. Google must believe that you like Joe Bonamassa more than I do.

I got this mini- Hamer Guitars documentary on the Up Next thing, and it was far more interesting than watching Joe Bonamassa.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby honeyisfunny on Tue Nov 07, 2017 9:07 am

The Nerdville film's alright, he's pretty harmless. I think of him like Top Gear: probably alright in itself but the influence on the world is disproportionately bad.

There's a little tuition video where JB explains how guitarists mute the major 3rd in chords so it sounds sweeter and more powerful using "Alright Now" by Free as an example. It's niche-interest stuff but it was useful for me.
chris jury wrote:"blistering walls of questionable tone"
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Tommy on Tue Nov 07, 2017 1:31 pm

His music is terrible, but he seems alright. He can definitely play stuff outside of his genre. Sometimes his youtube feed shows up on Facebook with him playing surf songs or what have you, at home. I'd be pissed about him hoarding the tweed Fenders, but he's only interested in museum pieces. So, he's as good a place as any to keep them that way for another generation.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:32 pm

I gots nothing against the doofus, if he can find success with his his cornball plastic blues and dog sweaters then good luck to him, good luck to his fans, and if we get a laugh out of it as well then no harm done.

If he's gonna call other musicians lazy though, when he is getting by playing this most unimaginative stock music, then he deserves to take some stick for that.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Facundo on Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:56 pm

I want these fucking following things out soon:

Ferrari Bonamassa 2018.

Matrix IV with Bonamassa as Agent Smith (majority won't notice).

Bonamassa's "AOR for kids" album, out this 2017 christmas.

Bonamassa's nostalgic album. Made during Trump's presidency, to be released in a far future in honour of all those mournful executives missing the figure of Donald when common communism is established in the united states. 24/192 files for only 0,00347 Bitcoin.

The trillogy written by Joe in a five star hotel in the Mississippi delta, facsimile with black farmer's blood aged more than 66 yo. First book is called "john henry for people who have never worked with a club", second book is "john henry for dummies", third is "how to hack an axe to make guitar neck from the ax handle and then destroy the older neck blues-star style".
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Facundo on Tue Nov 07, 2017 3:59 pm

and a 4XL t-shirt saying "How epiphone guitars ruined my life" with times new roman tipography and a gibson photo, please.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Me Again on Tue Nov 07, 2017 5:25 pm

Facundo wrote:Bonamassa's "AOR for kids"


HOF
...with Euro-Sprockets coming at you from every direction.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bishopdante on Wed Nov 08, 2017 4:05 am

Facundo wrote:The trilogy written by Joe in a five star hotel in the Mississippi delta, facsimile with black farmer's blood aged more than 66 yo.


Could do a series of collectable dog-themed postcards.

Image

Even the Nazis did not stoop to selling souvenirs of Auschwitz, but lynching scenes became a burgeoning subdepartment of the postcard industry.

By 1908, the trade had grown so large, and the practice of sending postcards featuring the victims of mob murderers had become so common and repugnant that the U.S. Postmaster General banned the cards from the mail system.


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lynchin ... ted_States

http://withoutsanctuary.org/main.html

Zorg wrote:mods vs. rockers


In the '50s and '60s the underground R&B scene in the UK was far more legit than the post '80s international coke-rock scenario.

The British working classes knew plenty about the struggle for emancipation... and the various toffs and bankers who did cotton / sugar trading / slavery were the same lot cramming the working classes into mill-town factories and slums, so American blues made perfect sense. As did a bunch of Caribbean underground music.

I refuse to endorse there being any equivalence of mods vs rockers with stadium blues vs punk, whether in the '70s, '80s, or 201X.

The Les-Paul collecting paunchy cocaine yacht-rock mindset is largely unrelated to the consciousness of either camp of british R&B subcultures, and is severely distanced from the American roots, voices such as Big Bill Broonzy get lost, and instead investment-buyers obsessing over what sort of plastic knobs Jimmy Page used in the mid '70s, and whether those have an impact on "tone" while flexing their credit cards.

The whole scenario of what is happening in today's world and how culture works...

One good illustration is Rod Stewart being hired to play at Stephen Schwarzman's 60th birthday party (of Blackstone Group private equity fame/notoriety) in 2007, just before the global financial crisis.

Half an hour for $1,000,000.
https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/02/14 ... hday-bash/

On the invite list:
Donald Trump, Barbara Walters, Larry Gagosian, David Koch, Barry Diller, Lloyd Blankfein, Jamie Dimon— and many of the people who have now become poster boys for the global financial crisis, like former Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O'Neal, ex-Bear Stearns chief Jimmy Cayne.

For his 70th, there was no Rod Stewart, they had dinner of “lobster, filet mignon, and baked Alaska,” along with “an array of expensive wines”, "live camels", Chinese acrobats, and fireworks.
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." - Bertrand Russell
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Zorg on Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:57 am

bishopdante wrote:
Facundo wrote:
Zorg wrote:mods vs. rockers


In the '50s and '60s the underground R&B scene in the UK was far more legit than the post '80s international coke-rock scenario.

The British working classes knew plenty about the struggle for emancipation... and the various toffs and bankers who did cotton / sugar trading / slavery were the same lot cramming the working classes into mill-town factories and slums, so American blues made perfect sense. As did a bunch of Caribbean underground music.

I refuse to endorse there being any equivalence of mods vs rockers with stadium blues vs punk, whether in the '70s, '80s, or 201X.

The Les-Paul collecting paunchy cocaine yacht-rock mindset is largely unrelated to the consciousness of either camp of british R&B subcultures, and is severely distanced from the American roots, voices such as Big Bill Broonzy get lost, and instead crowds of drooling morons obsess over what sort of plastic knobs Jimmy Page used in the mid '70s, and whether those have an impact on "tone" while flexing their credit cards.

The whole scenario of what is happening in today's world and how culture works...

One good illustration is Rod Stewart being hired to play at Stephen Schwarzman's 60th birthday party (of Blackstone Group private equity fame/notoriety) in 2007, just before the global financial crisis.

Half an hour for $1,000,000.
https://dealbook.nytimes.com/2007/02/14 ... hday-bash/

On the invite list:
Donald Trump, Barbara Walters, Larry Gagosian, David Koch, Barry Diller, Lloyd Blankfein, Jamie Dimon— and many of the people who have now become poster boys for the global financial crisis, like former Merrill Lynch CEO Stan O'Neal, ex-Bear Stearns chief Jimmy Cayne.

For his 70th, there was no Rod Stewart, they had dinner of “lobster, filet mignon, and baked Alaska,” along with “an array of expensive wines”, "live camels", Chinese acrobats, and fireworks.


Um....it was a innocent joke about how neither faction's stuff (shoegazer or lawyer) has seen the outside of their parents' basement / man cave that wife grudgingly OK'd, respectively, and the new Brighton Beach for these sedentary gear hoarding nutters is the pedal forum at thegearpage.net.

But you wanna turn that into some conspiracy theory, have at it.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bishopdante on Wed Nov 08, 2017 7:47 am

That usage of "thegearpage" being the brighton beach of instrument-collector messageboard conflict is both ironic and profoundly grim.

“All that was once directly lived becomes mere representation,”


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Soc ... _Spectacle
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Commodity_fetishism

Also
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conspicuous_consumption

______

The way that the more basic/tourist hedonism values of rock'n'roll, devoid of any protest politics or acknowledgement of the cultural history have been gleefully co-opted by the military-industrial "power elite", becoming an absolute hollowed out karaoke charade (eg: guitar hero by viacom).

JimI Hendrix memorabilia auction area... brrrrrr.

"Hey Joe... now that Mitch Mitchell just died you could pick up Jimi's Fuzz Face for a bargain expected sale price of a little under $10,000!"

_______


There is some *weird shit* going on in today's world.

Eg:

£159,000 - £311,000 for an early edition Les Paul on reverb.

Genuinely... what the fuck.

https://reverb.com/uk/p/gibson-les-paul ... id=4815026

That is a year's salary for a top investment banker! Private equity types only... As a Londoner I see plenty too many of those.

Ironically Mr bonanza's music equipment collection may be outperforming many high interest funds in terms of percentage return per annum. The Insurance value is probably so extreme that he could probably save a fair bit by having a halon fire suppression system installed.

______

In the meantime across the globe... child labour... exploitation in agriculture & manufacturing grows like a fungus... a hidden web of OEM mycelium links throwing up fairy rings of ever cheapening branded and advertised product...

Where you think that bonamassa dog-costume merch gets made? And by whom?
"One of the painful things about our time is that those who feel certainty are stupid, and those with any imagination and understanding are filled with doubt and indecision." - Bertrand Russell
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Redline on Wed Nov 08, 2017 6:54 pm

Word on the street is someone offered Dave $300,000 for this guitar (Dave said no, not for sale).
Hmmmm...
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby llllllllllllllllllllllll on Tue Nov 21, 2017 12:15 am

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby bdm on Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:00 pm

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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Anthony Flack on Wed Nov 29, 2017 1:29 pm

"Give the gift of Joe".

It gives a pretty startling indication of the scale of the operation to learn that he has a "limited edition" of fifteen HUNDRED Joe Bonamassa Flying-V guitars to shift.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby Seby on Wed Nov 29, 2017 10:53 pm

The Blues University onesie is pretty rocking.
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby A Landing Craft on Fri Dec 01, 2017 5:34 am

Batman_Jones wrote:This rockin' Neil Hamburger litho is pretty sweet

Image


HAHAHAHAHA!
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Re: Joe Bonamassa has an astounding amount of Merch

Postby aldofarian on Fri Dec 01, 2017 6:28 am

What I cannot get over is that this guy was born in 1977. I assumed he was in his mid-late 50s at least.

He would have been 14 when Nevermind came out. What the hell happened, dude?
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