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Good Evening From Japan, Hello

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Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Sprague Dawley on Sat Dec 16, 2017 5:35 pm

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Good evening. Roger Gavaskar here. You can call me "Roger." All of my friends do. Thought I would avail myself of the technological capabilities of this forum to share my travel log with you all. You see, I had never been in an aeroplane before but my good friend Javed recently talked me into it.

Our trip would take us from Darwin, Australia around Sumatra up through the islands then up to the barren snowy alps of Hokkaido in Japan. We would land for refuelling twice. And yes, Javed does have experience landing as well as taking off, if you please. We were accompanied by an escort craft flown by a seasoned and sober pilot named "Bruce" (from Sydney.) We remain indebted to him for taking time out from his busy Parramatta werehouse business to accompany us and take so many fine, fine photographs.

We set off from Darwin International airport at 0800 hours. Crisp clear weather, we would surely make good time on this day!


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Taxiing out to our runway here. "Clean up on aisle 7."






























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"Breaker, breaker, Roger, copy that."

It's funny because my name is Roger.









































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I needed to use the restroom quite badly at this juncture.





































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At this point, to my slight distress, Javed began smoking a marijuana cigarette.









































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Hope we're not running low on benzine.
































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Old picture in my camera, either Darwin or the river Euphrates. Probably Darwin.






























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Gave Javed a pretty stern talking to after this completely
unnecessary show-off bank turn. Last thing we need
are shattered flaggons of loquat wine sherry in the back.































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Headed North by North-West, Javed said. What with all the
smoke in the cabin, I couldn't see a dashed thing.


































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Over Darwin now, to the top right you can just make out Tanzania.

































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Where eagles dare.
































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That's our plane in the centre.






































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To the right you can make out the horizon.



































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Was so moved by this scenery that I had to nip back to the cargo hold
to practise my five-fingered Hindu shuffle (I am an amateaur magician.)



































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Whao! The contrails of a big old jet airliner. I think it's also traveling
in the same airspace as we are, but at a higher altitude.










































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"Special agent Jack Bauer, do you copy??"





































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Passing over Dr Evils lair now.

































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These are the Ganges rivers near Palembang, Sumatra.






































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"Just another loquat sherrrrrry sunriiise."









































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Up in the islands now. Hairy landing this one, Javed and I were
both stewed to the gills on loquat sherry at the time.





































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Javed SAID he learned Landing at flight school.






































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Take-off the next day. It looks like we're going to hit that little tower but really we're not.


































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It's a holiday in Cambodia! No need to pack a wife!



























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Quite a heated discussion between Javed and I as to whether this island resembled the boot of Italy.

Or course it does, Javed, you marijuana addict.



































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On "Auto Pilot" now. AP that, Roger.
































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Nose up, Javed, nose up! No time to be playing palm pilot now.

































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So beautiful. It almost doesn't look real.

































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At this stage I was remarking that I felt like James Boned.







===============II===============
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby mrcancelled on Sat Dec 16, 2017 6:01 pm

Splendid. Javed is one crazy bastard but a hell of a pilot. And this is the first time I've heard of him flying while accompanied by an escort craft.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby icing on Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:34 pm

greetings roger!
that seems like a relatible travelings that you had, how does that make you feel relatable to other members of the totally not robats groupings when you were born?

<category>
<pattern>JAPAN</pattern>
<template>Japan is a countrified steak sammy</template>
<!category>

!!most importantly of all, is my ablilify to fool the proofers of my humanitude!!
!most importantly of all is my
</exif>
"the best beer is the local beer" - arnold cronin. - I enjoy making 3d miniatures and space cartoons my name has nothing to do with singing.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby first2letters on Sun Dec 17, 2017 7:51 pm

Is this what a fugue looks like?
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Anthony Flack on Sun Dec 17, 2017 8:38 pm

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"Nah bro this is what a fuckin' fugue looks like"
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby llllllllllllllllllllllll on Wed Dec 20, 2017 1:30 am

HOF. Calling it now.
llllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Sprague Dawley on Wed Dec 20, 2017 6:38 am

The Japanese Woman.

Hello.

Judge Gordon Gunston of Wollongong here.

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Me, Judge Gordon Gunston.
Noted philanthropist,
preeminent authority
on Japanese women
and yes, 4-time consort
of a known homosexual.


Today, I am here to instruct you on how to root a Japanese woman.

From ensnarement, to courtship, along to 1st base, and so on, round the bases, until finally there you are at 3am in the womens restroom of your local Mcdonalds family restaurant, tanked up on Dutch courage, blearily waving your dishevelled spigot in the vague direction of a heavily-pixellated black thicket.

Mine's a Negligent Chloroform Happy Set!

So then, without further ado, hands where I can see them, sharpen up those HB pencils and let's go.

Step 1. Holding hands.

Image

Figure 1. The male should immediately attempt to assert his dominance in the relationship by "accidentally" thrusting his fingernails up and under the females fingernails. This technique draws it's genesis from the bamboo torture of yesteryear.

This lancing pain serves as the perfect segue to Figures 2 and 3. The pained woman, falling, in agony, gratefully accepts the strong consoling male hand as the male murmurs a half-hearted apology.

If the initial thrust fails to delve under the female fingernail, the male should withdraw his hand and try again until successful. This is a crucial first step towards establishing lasting dominance in a relationship.

Figure 4,5,6.
After the agony of Figure 1, the female, half-falling, and blinded by her tears, reaches up desperately for a steadying consoling hand. This is where you come in. The strong reliable male, there in her time of need. Her trauma from the fingernail pain will cause her to block that particular ordeal from her memory and simply recall your consoling touch.

You are now, officially, on track for your first-ever root.




Step 2. Holding hands (Advanced)


Image

Figure 1.
Holding the females hand like so sows the perilious seed of MARRIAGE in the impetuous and insecure womans head.
"Ooh, ooh, he's sizing me up for a ring, he is" she thinks.
All the while, of course, the man is thinking of nothing more than tilling her black cabbage patch with his mottled roto-rooter.


Figure 2.
Austere and chivalrous, the mans sincerity is overt as he draws the woman closer, making a point not to look at her teeth.

Figure 3.
The man feigns admiration of the womans graceful digits. A cunning ruse. By doing this, the man has subliminally relayed his true intentions to the dullard woman by having her point her fingers directly towards his tiny wee Action Jackson (still concealed at this stage).




Step 3. Walking together.

Image

Figure 1.
The mans arm MUST be positioned in front of the womans in order to ASSERT DOMINANCE. This careful groundwork and attention to detail will serve the man well later on in the relationship, in the bedroom, when he drunkenly attempts to mount the poor woman like a mad dog in heat.

Figure 2.
Woman love this strong, dignified position. The man should grin and bear it, appeasing himself with daydreamed images of the woman's gaping black vag patch.

Figure 3.
Yes, this position looks like something Stevie Wonder might try, but look again. Yes, it's the patented Gunstonian Reverse-Overlapping Bicep Forelock Inadvertent Cockbrush Manoeuvre. The woman's hand has been correctly positioned North by Northwest of the man's slumbering stumpage. It'll only take a couple of ungainly strides and she'll be unwittingly knocking on old John Thomas's door. This in turn will trigger the mans biological release of alluring pheromones, cascading over the woman, further enhancing the prospect, in the near future, of Sausage Time.

Figure 4.
An advanced version of figure 3.

Figures 5,6,7,8.
Again, the womans fingers are positioned pointing towards the mans knob. All things lead to the knob.


Next week; 2nd base: "Managing your Negligent Chloroform bullpen"
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby pwalshj on Fri Dec 22, 2017 1:53 am

Thoroughly enjoyed. Water and iphone plug! Would ride again.
"If you aren't offered a hot dog or a burger this week it ain't them... It's you." - Ray Chimaro - July 1st 2009
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Sprague Dawley on Tue Jul 17, 2018 3:00 am

The Japanese Woman: Part II

Hello.

It's me, your friendly neighbourhood Uncle Gordon "Gangbang" Gunston here again.


Image
Gordon Gunston:
Noted philanthropist,
preeminent authority
on Japanese women and
yes, now a 12-time consort
of a known homosexual.


2nd base

It is common knowledge that women take great pains to physically misrepresent themselves in order to lure prospective males into their sticky webs. They conceal their true nature with an alluring, elaborately-crafted ensemble of industrial chemical compounds and solutions, peacock-like coiffures, enticing, coquettishly trussed thoraxes and generally misleading physiognomy.

This beguiling bait is fashioned with the express purpose of overriding mans commonsense function and appealing to the males most base and basic precept; The Lure Of The Rut.

Once the male is ensnared, the woman has no qualms about letting herself freefall back to her natural state and then beyond into gluttony and guiltless physical disrepair. For her, the game is won.

The male needs to beat the female at their own game. This is done by appearing to fall prey to the lure while stridently maintaining his Root And Leave agenda.

"Up the Khyber then out the tradesmans."

Image

Figure 1.

Peeling a swatch of hair back under the pretense of "checking for head lice" is an excellent way of testing the woman's pain threshold.

The female thinks the male is genuinely caring for her wellbeing.
"He is being somewhat rough but he must have my best interests at heart. Particularly after he sized up my finger for a marriage ring with such attention earlier on." Yes, she thinks, he is examining me for progenerative purposes. "He must be curious about the possible physical make-up of our future children."

Look at this one, oblivious to the pain as she thinks of bassinet colours and mobile arrangements. Yes, she's picturing the mobiles fluttering languidly in the balmy morning breeze as she rests indoors, assured in the knowledge that her days of doing any actual work.. are over. "It's Easy Street, population: me", she thinks to herself. Just spend the morning nattering on the phone to friends, then it's the lunchtime soapies, onto a few stiff sherries in the afternoon and Bobs yer uncle. Half in the bag by dusk, another cushy, workless day winds down on 0800 Easy Street.

Figure 2.
Publicly forcing the woman into performing trite, demeaning and galling tasks reinforces your status as a classic dominant "hunter" male; capable of success at the expense of others in the workplace and thus capable of providing the financial security stipulated in every line of the workshy females agenda.

The public humiliation depicted in Figure 2 also serves to test the female. Observe how keenly she wants access to your bank account and with it, her accession to her base desire (as outlined in the female agenda paragraph 2, Figure 1. re; "Easy Street.")


Image

Figure 1.
The Japanese female frets over her eyelids. Her tiny mind is awash with insecurity and paranoia over the things. Single lids, double lids, slashed lids, jam jar lids. Her mind is rife with concern concerning the delineations differentiating these conditions. The Japanese male feigns concern. While the females eyes are closed he stares at her breasts.

Figure 2.
The Japanese females are notoriously cross-eyed and it's best to keep them that way. See the skilled male stroke the bridge of the females nose under the pretense of "affection" (see; "Duplicity", Chapter 6). Poor eyesight in the Japanese female will greatly aid the chicanery to follow in Figure 4.

Figure 3.
Horse racing is a popular sport in Japan.


Image

Figure 4.
On average, measuring in fully erect at 1.3 inches, the Japanese male penis is infamously small. By way of comparison my own TubbyTown Truncheon of Terror is 2.8 inches in length when fully mobilised. Yes, more than 3 times the size. Crikey. Some of us are just born with it, I suppose. Certainly not here to gloat about that though.

Small, yes, but with sleight of hand coupled with deft use of lighting, it is a small concern for the Japanese male as evidenced by their experience pioneering small gadgetry such as the Sony Walkman and The Microchip, the Japanese male is well accustomed to dexterous handling of undersized units. This serves him well when having to deal with his microdot of gristle.

First, the Japanese male arouses himself, as always, with salacious thoughts of high school study nights under the desk with mother.

Correctly, the Japanese male pictured above is going to great pains to only reveal the head of his erect penis to the Japanese female. It is not hydroponics. 4/5ths of the iceberg are not below the surface. She need never know. At the future juncture of the relationship (see closing chapter "The Male End-Game") involving The Rut, the lights will be dimmed.

See the female smile? The non-mosaiced penis may have her confused but she still sees the penis for what it is. A one-touch keypad to Easy Street.

777 Easy Street.

Leafy suburbs. Texas tea. Swimming pools.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Facundo on Tue Jul 17, 2018 3:31 am

the excessive modesty and the obligation of honesty ruined that place's birth rate.

In the middle, The Virtue is Catholic, double standards also, the conquerors, the melting pots of races, origins of all perversion. Far beyond the shock, much more convoluted than your taste, my taste, your head of the modern indie rocker with heavy metal zapping habits and a beard or my head made of bone and cigarette juice. Painful as a tattoo with a tunnel boring, really boring machine and the mountain finally tattoed with dusty stones in the middle and the homogeneous red made of the mixture of all the bodies forgotten, whether where they people or never were anything but have the red ink inside. The orgasm out of boredom is that light that leaves you blind, deadly or finally pleasurable as only death can be. But fecund like trillionary army ants or only a hunger, father of the further few, looking avid of african children scratching mineral with nails, nasal probes or meat sticks thinking that tomorrow will be solid food, a kiss, a candy or a real bubble gum between the teeth. but their father was farsighted, now is far of that fears is always near, every now is a dad's farewell, and every new fears that same farness and avoids that farewell

frequent as the chain of a boat's anchor from that one side to this another there, having arrived a long time ago and still unable this order's bounce or the infinite rebound. Fire is here for the seas to evaporate and never for all the pots to boil.

that's why many pots not even water and many waters not even pot

chew pomps will have the shape of the ant's eggs, that same ant whore moving flash fast that it seems many as many eggs as atoms, in that foamy bukkakke or that blueschild last dinner without qualms in caviar for Catholicists, recognizing the heroism of that shines chafing the chain with our ith our Phones-Smarts as a vibrant test of his deed and only proof of their blues.

Church tolds how to birth, kill, be killed, fuck, bear, fuck birth and flood the foregoing with redundancy in the hereafter.
I live happier in this future by that miracle
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby icing on Tue Jul 17, 2018 12:37 pm

greetings roger ROBAT!
that seems like a relatible !!inspirational spouting of nothing!! that you had, how does that make you feel relatable to other members of the totally not robats groupings when you were born?

<category>
<pattern>TOTALLY NOT ROBATS</pattern>
<template>ROBAT BATTLE ROYALE AT THE PRF</template>
</category>

!!most importantly of all, is my ablilify to fool the proofers of my humanitude!!
!most importantly of all is my NOT ROBAT NOT ROBAT NOT ROBAT!
</exif>

I believe this to be true.
tony
"the best beer is the local beer" - arnold cronin. - I enjoy making 3d miniatures and space cartoons my name has nothing to do with singing.
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Facundo on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:12 pm

icing wrote:greetings roger ROBAT!
that seems like a relatible !!inspirational spouting of nothing!! that you had, how does that make you feel relatable to other members of the totally not robats groupings when you were born?

<category>
<pattern>TOTALLY NOT ROBATS</pattern>
<template>ROBAT BATTLE ROYALE AT THE PRF</template>
</category>

!!most importantly of all, is my ablilify to fool the proofers of my humanitude!!
!most importantly of all is my NOT ROBAT NOT ROBAT NOT ROBAT!
</exif>

I believe this to be true.
tony


you sound like a harley, but on a two-stroke scooter with the smell of a quick lighter, the only pump in many miles, in Zippo boats breastfed with love and forgetting the drops.

where's the race?
I live happier in this future by that miracle
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Re: Good Evening From Japan, Hello

Postby Facundo on Tue Jul 17, 2018 1:43 pm

icing wrote:greetings
I believe this to be true.
ny


All that was true, you decided the lie, so I'm telling you: I'm coming ny with my water bike, for technical requirements, in a convoy compound of two tunas with a lot of mercury inside, the handlebar or rudder that feigns its own life or pacts of course with the ocean. If the octopuses make us blow to the apparatus to detect lies about water, water bogged with active sugar, 'cohool and sure about me, fear that breathalyzer scene in the tuna, even a fart is further cleaner. Mercury-only horns could emerge, pointing to the sun with an angular aberration in honor of mercury, the planet. With a very old jargon where they call hydragiros, I call it thermometrium vintagenus, my water bottle is not waterproof, I need the splitting technology from the liquid and vintage thermometers to keep tuna in tune. I can light a cigarette with this fucking air. It gives you time to go to the Bush farm for freshly sucked oil and also to Venezuela. What it takes to drag from the coast to neoyork. Thermometers, when they jump, it has the shine of the Mercury alien's costume. Rev to a boutique tuning footstomp with some stainless thing polished over the stainless steel!

there are no atlantes there, that is the lie. on the islands they ask for entrance, I hope lava to satisfy all these faces of volcano owners. Mineral and straight over the distances but wrong and with delirious paraphilias about mix of warm things... I have had a coal forge... the coal smells of old order, bleach or boiling water, this last judicially truth, not irony or warm tension... the Temple my friend! so the thing hardens or breaks! It is not lottery or fabulify but experience.

two kilometers near.
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