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Abstaining from alcohol.

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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby the finger genius on Thu Oct 18, 2018 10:26 pm

Someone in my wife's direct family who had many years of sobriety (or had the whole family completely fooled, which is entirely possible) has recently fallen on very hard times, and no longer seems to want to stay clean. This has sucked hard for my wife and her family, and she's handled it like a fucking champ. It's also been a constant reminder that my own sobriety (and probably everyone's) is more fragile than I realize, and should not be taken for granted.

On that note, I went to an annual social / alumni gathering tonight which I have not done since 2004, I think. On that occasion I got so trashed that my then girlfriend / now wife gave me a bit of an ultimatum, and I mostly stopped drinking (took a few more years 'til I really decided on my own that it was not for me, and I haven't had a drink since 2011.)

I sometimes take for granted how much better my life has gotten since I've stopped drinking. Tonight was a nice reminder that things are good, and could be really shitty.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby bumble on Tue Nov 13, 2018 11:00 am

What up, Day 7.

Moderation just always accelerates into a rolling trash can fire without me noticing it. Raccoons are hanging off of it, screeching, while wildebeest charge away from it in terror.

Some of the research I've read says dopamine just keeps wanting and wanting its reward, regardless of receiving it or not. Which makes sense to me.


I gave up caffeinated coffee a few months ago and my stress is a lot better. Though it may seem odd, I feel like coffee and alcohol go hand in hand with my weirdo spaz brain.

Also, I just got into a very challenging Master's program (oh shiiiiiit) and need to set myself up for success.

Okay!
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby jbar on Tue Nov 13, 2018 12:17 pm

First week was hard for me Bumble. Glad you made it. You ever need to talk, GAMYF.

I'm at something like 5 weeks now. I'm sort of an emotional wreck for a lot of reasons, but it's nice to have a clear head through all of it.

I find myself chugging La Croix like there is no tomorrow. Seriously, it completely replaces the mouth feel of beer for me. My last beer was a Montucky Cold Snack. I feel like the transition to La Croix was facilitated by this.

Big, big fuckin THANKS to those of you who have stepped in to lend a hand or ear.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby bumble on Wed Nov 21, 2018 8:43 am

Yesterday, I was feeling anxious, as though a dense fog was inhabiting my chest. All day.

Shocker, I know, that spazzy me is anxious and weird. QUIET.

I'm supposed to be drafting this Big Deal Paper for my boss and I feel inadequate and/or intimidated or something. Avoidant? All of the above? Beats me.

Then The Orange Child was being herself (reincarnated Bette Davis) and I felt really overwhelmed.

Anyway, this is the exact sort of moment a glass of wine or three would have been my usual. Alcohol affects GABA just as Xanax does, reducing anxiety.

So instead I handed off Ms. Diva Thing to her dad, listened to a really stupid spy book, and fell asleep at like 8 god damn pee emm while listening to a guided meditation on the Calm app.

I'm *really* going to need some better options, especially when March rolls around and my new Master's program starts. And I'm going to a conference for a week.

March is going to suck.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby andyman on Wed Nov 21, 2018 12:52 pm

You might hate hearing this, but exercise is the only way I know of to wipe stress without drinking...

Apart from eating a kilogram of chocolate, of course.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby matt_stevens on Wed Nov 21, 2018 5:47 pm

Hey Bumble, I'll second the exercise recommendation - after I stopped drinking my anxiety went off the deep end and it took me a few months to get things under control. I found that yoga helped a lot as it was both physically exhausting and meditative. I've not been doing that for a while but I still feel much better when I'm active, I've been doing more swimming recently.

My other coping mechanism was to keep the freezer well stocked with large quantities of ice cream.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby bumble on Thu Nov 22, 2018 11:51 am

Thanks, team.

So. I have 5 am-6 am open. (When school starts, that will sometimes be taken up with studying.)

I have some exercise stuff I do, but have been looking for a good yoga home practice.

Does anyone have any good home-yoga resources? I am bombarded by ads for home practice but would appreciate recommendations. :)
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby Riff Magnum on Thu Nov 22, 2018 6:09 pm

I know it sounds ridiculous but that DDP Yoga is supposed to be fantastic. I don't think you have to buy the program unless you get into it hardcore and want to do more and support the thing, but you can go as easy or as crazy as you want, so it's not super intimidating to beginners.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby Hexensabbat on Thu Nov 22, 2018 7:27 pm

My friend likes Yoga with Adriene on Youtube. Her tone can be a little corny sometimes, but she has videos for all levels, plus a foundations series which helps you get a better grip on a lot of the foundational poses.

Exercise has definitely helped. Also, cooking.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby biscuitdough on Fri Nov 23, 2018 1:45 pm

I have been very stuck at work since I quit drinking about a year ago. I somehow got promoted into a position that has me doing a lot more self-directed project type stuff and I get catatonically anxious whenever I even think about properly starting any of the goals I have to finish by July.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby bumble on Fri Nov 23, 2018 6:25 pm

biscuitdough wrote:I have been very stuck at work since I quit drinking about a year ago. I somehow got promoted into a position that has me doing a lot more self-directed project type stuff and I get catatonically anxious whenever I even think about properly starting any of the goals I have to finish by July.


I have problems starting up, too, and my current gig is like yours. So I make myself.

I use the Pomodoro Technique to help me focus. You do one task for 25 minutes -- no email, no social media, just the one task -- and then take a 5 minute break.

I use a website called My Tomatoes http://mytomatoes.com/ to keep track of what I worked on.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby biscuitdough on Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:22 pm

Thank you, FM bumble. I will try that.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby mrcancelled on Sat Nov 24, 2018 12:00 am

I think I've linked to it on this thread before at some point, but I don't think I provided many details beyond maybe a one sentence description.

I find a large portion of Reddit to be garbage, but their Stop Drinking sub was an incredibly helpful resource for me, especially early on. I was very hesitant to go to meetings at first due to anxiety and stuff, but this was an awesome way to connect with other folks in the same boat. The community there is incredibly supportive and has grown exponentially in years past. It definitely got me through some rough times.

On the sidebar, there's a link to where you can "request a badge" that tracks your sobriety day count. I know it sounds like nothing special, but watching that number go up was a cool little occasion I'd look forward to each night. I still use it as my primary reference to see how much time I have under my belt.
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Re: Abstaining from alcohol.

Postby n.c. on Thu Dec 13, 2018 9:03 am

a good friend just fell off the wagon after over 8 years. i'm pretty concerned. i've been honest with him that it's not going to go well, while also letting him know i was open to him.

there are some drugs involved as well. he's been going on the dark web. this is a complicated situation.
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