Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

[lemur68]

Ranked:

Boner
Sumner
Joel

but

Police
U2
Attila

[The MayorofRockNRoll]

I hardly know who Billy Joel is.

Domagoj, turn off the gas and pack yr bags because today's the day you travel to Allentown; featuring Mark Rivera on metal pipe!

Like Randall, I like much of Joel's catalog...

Goddammit, Frederick, you take that back!

I'd be remiss if I didn't cop to sincerely enjoying a scant handful of late-70's BJ songs.

"Scant," my friend. As in, I s'cant admit to liking much of Joel's catalog.

No, but you like Moving Out, which means you like the worst of his catalog.

And seriously, that one old guy should never have been wearing a younger man's clothes to begin with.

[The MayorofRockNRoll]

I kind of like Billy Joel's "Punk" era. There was a time when he claimed that he was really influenced by the stylings of the new wild and angry young men, and I think that's the era which- though these songs are years apart- gave us Pressure and it's Still Rock N Roll to me. Those songs aren't necessarily good, but, you know, he's kind of angsty and rebellious. He's like the guy who's boss denied him a raise so, in the privacy of his office, with his boss not looking, he puts his tie around his head and plays air guitar to Dire Straits.

Don't Ask Me Why is still bearable. Don't ask me why, though.

[righthanded]

Process of elimination. Certain U2 and Police songs are okay in small doses or with large doses of drugs and alcohol. Billy Joel is always intolerable. I don't know if Bono has a terrible string of solo albums and I don't really mind the bleeding heart, help Africa, stuff, even if it's bullshit or self serving. I know Sting has terrible solo albums and was also in a car commercial a few years ago--pretentious, pointless, and lame, but still not Billy Joel.

[RSMurphy]

"I'd rather listen to The Whales"

WHALES! No "the." It's even more annoying when Maigin says it.

Don't Ask Me Why is still bearable.

In the chorus right before his band goes into that faux-calypso breakdown, he actually says as clear as day, "don't AXE me why." That makes this song worse than "Movin' Out." Ollie, you oughta know by now.

In this thread I have displayed a bit more Billy Joel knowledge than I cared to admit.

[The MayorofRockNRoll]

Don't Ask Me Why is still bearable.

In the chorus right before his band goes into that faux-calypso breakdown, he actually says as clear as day, "don't AXE me why." That makes this song worse than "Movin' Out." Ollie, you oughta know by now.

In this thread I have displayed a bit more Billy Joel knowledge than I cared to admit.

The faux-calypso breakdown is actually why I like it. There's this sort of mariachi chord progression throghout the whole thing.

I don't know. I guess I like it because it sounds, I dunno..."ethnic."

[RSMurphy]

I guess I like it because it sounds, I dunno..."ethnic."

Well, he does have textured hair.

[Colonel Panic]

Wow. We're getting deeper into the Joel here than I'd expected.

[scntfc]

Wow. We're getting deeper into the Joel here than I'd expected.

damn skippy.

[eephour]

Billy is the easy answer here, though he'd probably be most fun to go on a bender with. You know, with all the fast cars, boats and supermodels and such.

But, I voted for Sting. Or as my late grandmother used to call him, Stink.

[P.J. Craven]

What are people basing their hatred of Billy Joel on? The drunk driving? Is that how he somehow beats out Sting by so much?

I voted for Bono because I find him the most irritating. His band wasn't even that good during its heyday, and now he helps to save Africa while also appearing in ads for Versace and expensive watches. He never takes off his sunglasses. He never shuts up.

Sting's solo career is terrible. The Police have songs I like. His new age crap and awful solo career put him in the middle.

Bono and Sting were each an important piece of reaching taller artistic heights than Billy Joel while taking part in their respective bands, but Billy Joel has some enjoyable, if cheesy, songs.

- "Movin' Out"
- "You May Be Right"
- "Big Shot"

If "Piano Man" weren't so overplayed and lauded by the musically ignorant masses, I would even include that one in the list. It's been effectively killed though, and I find it difficult to look past all that's attached to it.

At least Billy has some songs with some forward propulsion unlike Sting [solo]. Bono, he does good things, but he is one of the most obnoxious celebrity personalities ever. He's been a part of so much crap, and is still somehow taken seriously.

Bono.

[Brett Eugene Ralph]

Although I don't like the music of any of these folks, it's hard for me to rail on Sting too harshly when I'm forced to admit that I was at one time wholly devoted to the Police's first two albums.

I briefly kinda liked U2, too, and while I don't think that they have any relationship whatsoever to punk rock--aesthetically--I believe them when they say that they were inspired by bands like Television and the Patti Smith Group. Not that that counts for a whole hell of a lot. As public personas, however, Bono and Sting are both ceaselessly insufferable.

Billy Joel, musically speaking, is clearly a journeyman hack willing to try on absolutely any hat, no matter how ill fitting (I'm talking to you, Attila!) in order to hammer out some semblance of a music "career." He just exudes "asshole," the kind of short guy with a chip on his shoulder who goes off on wait staff and slaps his woman around when drinking. He's intensely dislikeable. "Still Rock-n-Roll to Me" is maybe the worst fake new wave song ever, and "Piano Man" would be the worst song ever recorded were it not for a little ditty called "American Pie."

Billy Joel is easily the ultimate douche in this race. He might be the biggest douche in "rock" music ever, if only because it takes the Eagles four or five people to achieve the massive douche factor that Billy manages all by his lonesome. Plus, Joe Walsh presents a major waffle factor.

BJ!

[Daffodil Column]

Joe Walsh ain't a real Eagle

[Into the Void]

"Still Rock-n-Roll to Me" is maybe the worst fake new wave song ever, and "Piano Man" would be the worst song ever recorded were it not for a little ditty called "American Pie."

I think "We didn't Start the Fire" is even worse than "Piano Man."

[Colonel Panic]

I don't really get all these accusations that Billy Joel is a douchebag. He seems like an ok dude to me, am I missing out on some stories (besides all the stories about him plowing through some poor dude's house)?

What are people basing their hatred of Billy Joel on? The drunk driving? Is that how he somehow beats out Sting by so much?

I kind of like Billy Joel's "Punk" era. There was a time when he claimed that he was really influenced by the stylings of the new wild and angry young men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqY6mXULzpw

Apparently he was pissed at the stage crew for shining lights on the audience.

Special thanks to Chris Hall for posting this on Facebook.

[eephour]

I don't really get all these accusations that Billy Joel is a douchebag. He seems like an ok dude to me, am I missing out on some stories (besides all the stories about him plowing through some poor dude's house)?

What are people basing their hatred of Billy Joel on? The drunk driving? Is that how he somehow beats out Sting by so much?

I kind of like Billy Joel's "Punk" era. There was a time when he claimed that he was really influenced by the stylings of the new wild and angry young men

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqY6mXULzpw

Apparently he was pissed at the stage crew for shining lights on the audience.

Special thanks to Chris Hall for posting this on Facebook.

Wow.

[calhern]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PqY6mXULzpw

Apparently he was pissed at the stage crew for shining lights on the audience.

Special thanks to Chris Hall for posting this on Facebook.

What a little prima dona.

But that was over 20 years ago, I'm sure he doesn't pull shit like that anymore.

Here is one thing that Billy Joel has over Sting and Boner: He hasn't made a pop song in about 17 years. Sure, he's made some fruity classical bullshit and a few live albums, but those get no radio play as far as I can tell. Meanwhile Sting and Bono have subjected us to bullshit like "Fields Of Gold" and "Vertigo"

[ghosting]

U2 is definitely the "best" band of these, but Bono is still the worst, good god. It's kind of a testament to that band that even with someone so awful I can still sort of stomach them in spite of it.

[fredrock]

Billy Joel is easily the ultimate douche in this race. He might be the biggest douche in "rock" music ever, if only because it takes the Eagles four or five people to achieve the massive douche factor that Billy manages all by his lonesome. Plus, Joe Walsh presents a major waffle factor.

This is absolutely precious!
I was greatly influenced and a big fan of many 60's folk rockers (Byrds, Moby Grape, Buffalo Springfield, etc) but the Eagles made me cringe. I saw them once (pre-Walsh) and I judged it to be one of the worst concerts I had attended to date.

Walsh excepted by me as well.

When Henley wasn't busy abusing underage girls, he did produce a couple of decent (can I use that reference here ?) songs, but that's about it.


I think I partly resent they managed to steer potential listeners away from many far superior country rockers = this was a shame.

[Boombats]

I am stumped as to why Joe "my Maserati does 145" fucking Walsh is off the hook.