home studios equipment staff/friends booking/rates for sale forum contact

Bun Cunts

Vote and debate.

Moderators: kerble, Electrical-Staff

Is Brent a Bun Cunt?

Brent is a cunt
42
70%
I have no problem with Brent
18
30%
 
Total votes : 60

Bun Cunts

Postby steve on Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:24 am

Here's the scene. Guy brings a box of donuts to work, hey everybody donuts. Somebody, let's call him Brent, takes a donut out of the box, helps himself to 1/6 of it, then puts the rest back in the box. So now there's a 5/6 donut in the box along with all the unmolested donuts.

Debate rings (rages is too intense) in some circles. Is Brent a cunt who wrecked a donut, leaving it to dry out unloved in the box and eventually be thrown away, or is Brent a prissy-but-noble calorie-shy regular person who wants a taste, but can't fathom getting through a whole donut? Is he being altruistic for leaving his donut remainder for someone else, or is he the worst sort of prick who can't deny himself a taste of donut but is happy to wreck a donut for the crew?

Let's get a verdict on bun cunts.
steve albini
Electrical Audio
sa at electricalaudio dot com
Quicumque quattuor feles possidet insanus est.
User avatar
steve
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9202
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:25 pm
Location: chicago

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:39 am

He's a bun cunt, clearly. And you know it.

He should have neatly bisected the donut with a knife and taken half. Didn't he have a mother? There's nothing altruistic about leaving a half-eaten herpes saliva donut in the box.
Anthony Flack
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9107
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:27 am
Location: New Zealand

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Boombats on Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:41 am

Irrespective of the donut, nobody should put bitten food back in a shared container. However, Brent sounds like someone who eats donuts with a knife and fork, so it might not be slobbered on.
User avatar
Boombats
Analingus Eggnog
 
Posts: 19900
Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2006 2:31 am

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby steve on Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:48 am

Half, that comes up a lot. People are willing to make an accommodation for half. What if he took half a donut instead of 1/6?

Half, whatever at least that's a normal human thing, splitting a donut with somebody. But you don't take half, you say, "I'll split this with you," and then the two of you half yourselves off into the cubicles. Also, if we broach halving then the bun cunts have a window to say, "I only took 1/6, that's waaaay less than a half, how can that be worse?" so I brook no tidy sufferance for Halfers. Splitters, fine, you two can self-congratulate on your restraint or whatever it is you get out of halving a treat, you're not bothering anybody and you've left the donut stock unmolested. Go be yous.

There are other common accommodations. What if he used a knife? What if it was the last donut?

Who cares if he used a knife, probably didn't but who cares. That makes it weirder, going to get a knife and cutting 1/6 out of a donut what the fuck you psycho. If it was the last donut, just as bad. You're wrecking the last donut and you're not even eating it.

Who gave up the idea that a single donut is a multiple-portion food item? It's insane on its face. It's not a fucking pie, it's a donut. You don't gather five friends and say, "Let's all go in on a donut." That's madness.

How does one honorably get himself 1/6 donut? You say to the donut assembled, "I'd love a taste of donut right now but I couldn't eat a whole one, or I'm not going to anyway because of gluten terror or some similar stupid shit I just now wholly subscribed to. Can anybody spare a li'l piece? I don't want to wreck a donut and put it back in the box like some awful bun cunt."

That's the honorable way to go about being a Sixther. You get your sixth, you don't wreck a donut, you don't leave a drying rusk of a treat in a box for somebody else to throw away and you engage honestly with your weakness.
steve albini
Electrical Audio
sa at electricalaudio dot com
Quicumque quattuor feles possidet insanus est.
User avatar
steve
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9202
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:25 pm
Location: chicago

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 2:58 am

there’s no justification here the guy is chooch who’s never lived on a planet with other human beings, flat out
Kayte wrote: i'm like, pour me a fucking synthohol bish.
User avatar
Janeway
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
 
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:27 pm
Location: here

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Adam Sr on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:16 am

Whatever you touch is yours, whether you change your mind or not. You have obliged yourself. No-one wants your fingered and tongued donut.

phpBB [media]
User avatar
Adam Sr
Best leader Who Realized Human Wisdom
Best leader Who Realized Human Wisdom
 
Posts: 2613
Joined: Sat Nov 12, 2011 1:55 pm

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:31 am

yeah and i heard brent tried to fuck a bug

this is some kinda jerk we’re dealin with here.

#dontfuckwithdonutsorbugs
Kayte wrote: i'm like, pour me a fucking synthohol bish.
User avatar
Janeway
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
 
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:27 pm
Location: here

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:44 am

Any cake or pastry can be divided with a knife into a multi-portion food item. I attended a morning tea at a kindergarten today, I know this well - they served muffin quarters.

As long as the remaining portion is unsullied, this is acceptable. Bisection, because it's less weird than carving out a sixth, and honestly if you're going in with the intention of only eating a sixth of a donut you probably should just round down to zero. But a cleanly-cut half donut sends a clear message to everyone that it is still viable food for anybody else who might want a half-donut or come back for an extra half-donut, and only a third of the donut goes to waste instead of five sixths.

Trying to greeble a little piece off somebody else might seem like the honorable thing, but it's likely to be given grudgingly since most people who lay hands on a full donut have already mentally committed to complete consummation.
Anthony Flack
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9107
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:27 am
Location: New Zealand

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby kerble on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:49 am

CUNT.
kerble is right.
SA | SF | FZ | SI | RD | DA | K | CP | T
User avatar
kerble
King Shit of Fuck Mountain
 
Posts: 18766
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2004 1:30 pm
Location: Heartbreaker.

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Janeway on Mon Feb 19, 2018 3:53 am

yeah if you’re gonna greeble you bisect your donut and dissect your bug

okay brent? ya got it?
Kayte wrote: i'm like, pour me a fucking synthohol bish.
User avatar
Janeway
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
World's Ideal Leader w/ VersatileTalents
 
Posts: 3892
Joined: Mon Oct 01, 2007 3:27 pm
Location: here

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Zorg on Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:51 am

Image
User avatar
Zorg
World War 11 Veteran
World War 11 Veteran
 
Posts: 1581
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:11 am

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Zorg on Mon Feb 19, 2018 4:58 am

Also, to be fair, once you hit 40, a whole "gourmet" donut, with filling or whatever is a bit much, and if you're being asked to sit in a cube and stay alert all morning I would just get Donut Holes for an office. Fat people can keep grazing, Brents have no excuse.
User avatar
Zorg
World War 11 Veteran
World War 11 Veteran
 
Posts: 1581
Joined: Wed Feb 02, 2011 11:11 am

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby goatlord on Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:20 am

Taking some of it with a napkin around your hand, yeah, ok. Bit weird of a power move putting it back. With your hands? We are on shake territory, but I'm no germaphobe, microbes make us harder, go ahead. Still, weird power move. Taking a bit bite out of it and putting it back with the rest? What the fuck is your problem I'm gonna punch you.
YES YES YES YES RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD RECORD When in doubt, treat it as a record. Call your Records - Horse_ebooks
User avatar
goatlord
Perfect Picture of Wisdom and Boldness
Perfect Picture of Wisdom and Boldness
 
Posts: 3139
Joined: Sat Sep 04, 2010 4:12 am
Location: A shitty corner of spain.

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Anthony Flack on Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:38 am

Also, if you're in company and you decide, for whatever reason, that you're not going to abide by the way the food has been quantized, standard etiquette is to announce your intentions to the room. Let people know there is going to be a part-donut situation.

The worst possible outcome would be to end up with more than one partial donut; a multi-Brent scenario.
Anthony Flack
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9107
Joined: Fri Aug 03, 2012 12:27 am
Location: New Zealand

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby steve on Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:46 am

Anthony Flack wrote:The worst possible outcome would be to end up with more than one partial donut; a multi-Brent scenario.

Once you let Brent off the hook for sixthing, it seems obvious you are inviting an avalanche of partiers and fractionneurs shitting all over the box with their two-ninthsism and five-thirteenthsing.

No, no, never. Take a donut or don't. Eat all of it or don't, but don't make us deal with your fingered, unsound, desiccated remnants. As another commentator said elsewhere, "Might as well fuck the donut in front of us."

Okay that was me.
steve albini
Electrical Audio
sa at electricalaudio dot com
Quicumque quattuor feles possidet insanus est.
User avatar
steve
Present-day God
Present-day God
 
Posts: 9202
Joined: Wed Jun 04, 2003 3:25 pm
Location: chicago

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby B_M_L on Mon Feb 19, 2018 5:53 am

I think if you can't cope with eating the whole donut then don't start.

Also I think it's off putting if some-one just eats a little bit and puts the rest back. Are the donuts bad? Do you feel ill? Did the donut make you ill or are you just fingering donuts to spread the ebola you bought with you? It immediately ruins the donut experience for everyone.

I don't want to start calling this guy names, but I hate calorie counters as much as bun cunts.
Last edited by B_M_L on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
B_M_L
Leader with Extraordinary Personality
Leader with Extraordinary Personality
 
Posts: 2846
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2005 11:56 am
Location: UK

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby Isabelle Gall on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:10 am

Sounds like the British custom of always leaving some food on your plate to trumpet class distinction, and the inherent difficulties in ever wholly enjoying a single specific thing.
User avatar
Isabelle Gall
Master Of The Computer
Master Of The Computer
 
Posts: 4961
Joined: Wed Nov 16, 2005 12:35 pm

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby numberthirty on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:15 am

I'm gonna need some details.

Was it a jelly donut? Did it look like little mini donut equivalent of Texas Chainsaw Massacre happened inside of the donut box?
154 wrote:Are you in Voivod or something?
User avatar
numberthirty
King Shit of Fuck Mountain
 
Posts: 19824
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:28 am

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby numberthirty on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:18 am

goatlord wrote:Taking some of it with a napkin around your hand, yeah, ok. Bit weird of a power move putting it back. With your hands? We are on shake territory, but I'm no germaphobe, microbes make us harder, go ahead. Still, weird power move. Taking a bit bite out of it and putting it back with the rest? What the fuck is your problem I'm gonna punch you.


Whoa. Take it easy. Your gonna wind up getting blood on the donuts.
154 wrote:Are you in Voivod or something?
User avatar
numberthirty
King Shit of Fuck Mountain
 
Posts: 19824
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:28 am

Re: Bun Cunts

Postby numberthirty on Mon Feb 19, 2018 6:20 am

Anthony Flack wrote:Any cake or pastry can be divided with a knife into a multi-portion food item. I attended a morning tea at a kindergarten today, I know this well - they served muffin quarters.

As long as the remaining portion is unsullied, this is acceptable. Bisection, because it's less weird than carving out a sixth, and honestly if you're going in with the intention of only eating a sixth of a donut you probably should just round down to zero. But a cleanly-cut half donut sends a clear message to everyone that it is still viable food for anybody else who might want a half-donut or come back for an extra half-donut, and only a third of the donut goes to waste instead of five sixths.


Trying to greeble a little piece off somebody else might seem like the honorable thing, but it's likely to be given grudgingly since most people who lay hands on a full donut have already mentally committed to complete consummation.


Again, whoa.

You are making the unsafe assumption that the sorts of people involved in this story can actually do fractions.
154 wrote:Are you in Voivod or something?
User avatar
numberthirty
King Shit of Fuck Mountain
 
Posts: 19824
Joined: Sat Dec 03, 2005 3:28 am

Next

Return to Crap / Not Crap

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 8 guests