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Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

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Who's the biggest rock and roll douchebag: Bono, Sting, or Billy Joel?

Douchebag, Bloody Douchebag!
35
40%
Every Little Thing He Does Is Douchey
23
26%
He's Always A Douchebag To Me
30
34%
 
Total votes : 88

Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Colonel Panic on Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:39 pm

Three douchebags enter, only one leaves.

The "winner" steps out of the dome triumphant, and then gets a gold-plated piano dropped on his head.
Last edited by Colonel Panic on Thu Dec 02, 2010 7:46 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Bill Swansea on Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:45 pm

Poor Bono.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby bono on Wed Dec 01, 2010 11:49 pm

Justin from Queens wrote:This is the easiest one ever. Ever ever ever.

This is easier than "The Communards". This is easier than "Air Supply, Reunited". This is even easier than "Air Supply playing the song 'Reunited'".

Billy Joel almost deserves his own game. The game should be - "yeah, that's bad, but Billy Joel is worse."

Worse than Burzum.
Worse than the last incarnation of Menudo.
Worse than RaHoWa.

You can't come up with anything worse than Billy Joel. It's terrible beyond terrible that I have ever heard one of his songs, much less know how to hum it. That in itself is a wide sweeping, irrefutable damnation of the music industry. "What's wrong with commercial entertainment, you curmudgeon?" "Billy Joel."

I've got to stop typing now. I've got to go do something else for a bit. I'm compelled to go on and on, but I shouldn't. This started as fun, but now I'm getting angry.

There's a windshield out there, somewhere, that will sever his gurgling jugular and bring an end to this awfulness. I hope that they're installing it right now on some overpriced Maybach, set for speedy delivery to Long Island, USA. I hope that car sails off the LIE soon, just outside of King's Park. I also hope that in his last drunken death throes, flailing about, his knee smacks the radio. In this pleasant fantasy, the radio scans to WFMU, playing the Merzbox end to end. I would like Mr. Joel to listen to this as the car catches fire and his wife's plastic tits begin to melt.

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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Awesome_Komodo on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:05 am

I used to hate on Billy Joel until Jodi S. told me the one of the greatest stories ever involving a drunken Billy Joel at a wedding and the wedding band.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Into the Void on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:06 am

Could you add Weiland?
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby SecondEdition on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:16 am

If it was a dome between Bono and Sting, it would be truly difficult; tossing Billy Joel into this is way too easy, as Billy Joel is always the correct answer when the question of musical douchery comes up.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Daffodil Column on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:16 am

Biggest ego always equals biggest douchebag. Bono
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Speedie on Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:49 am

Image
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby no fun on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:01 am

Go to Google, turn instant search off, and type "Bono is". First result.

If you do the same thing with Sting, you get "is gay" three down.

Billy Joel is Jewish.

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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby circle_ruler on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:03 am

Bono, Sting, Billy

Bono wins*

* i presume the one who gets to leave is shot to death with guns
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Get dog costumes on Thu Dec 02, 2010 11:07 am

Please. Billy Joel is way cooler than Bono or Sting. I'd have a beer with him; I don't know about the other two. The Police had some better songs than U2 and Billy Joel, so musically it might be a contest, but this is about douchebaggery.

And don't drag Weiland into this. First of all, he is a way better singer than any of these guys. Second, he doesn't seem much of a d-bag at the moment, although that of course could change suddenly and without warning. Third, if it does, his douchebaggery tends to be of this nature:
Image
whereas Bono, Sting, and Billy are more culturally offensive.

Except for the car crashes.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Antero on Thu Dec 02, 2010 12:59 pm

Billy Joel is worse than basically everything ever.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby The MayorofRockNRoll on Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:13 pm

I don't hate on Bono that much, really. I mean, he looks like Robin Williams, but compared to Robim Williams he's relatively non-douchey. I don't think his continued earnestness is a put-on, really, either.

Billy Joel...gah...a couple of songs have been semi-guilty pleasures, honestly. But, nah...I could probably take or leave him.

Sting, however, seems to have been born with that smug, superior smirk on his face. I like a few Police songs but not a note of his solo shit. He buys black musicians and forces them to work on his white music plantation. So Sting wins, and he can suck it.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby krakabash on Thu Dec 02, 2010 1:30 pm

Carrying the white man's burden. With cameras conveniently present.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby tmidgett on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:06 pm

Billy Joel worst.

Then Sting.

Then Bono. I mean, Bono does some serious shit.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby jimmy two hands on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:16 pm

Tough choice. Bono irks me and I hate U2, but he made Jesse Helms cry. If you personally caused Jesse Helms to cry, that counts for something. I can count one or two guilty pleasures among some of Billy Joel's songs from the 80s. Sting I count no pleasures, guilty or otherwise, form his solo career. Looks like Sting. But first, let's look at early bands: Sting - the Police, had a few good songs, moreso than Billy Joel has had in his solo career; Billy Joel - Attila.
Image
I've listened to this album, and it truly sucks. Billy Joel hits rock bottom.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby vockins on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:23 pm

I went to an Islanders game last Thanksgiving. The Nassau Coliseum retired Billy Joel's "number."

I realize the number of people reading this that have any experience with Nassau Coliseum is probably limited, so you'll have to take my word for it when I tell you that situation is perfect.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby Nico Adie on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:26 pm

jimmy two hands wrote:Image


That album cover is utterly magnificent.

Gordon Sting, however, is an enormous tantric cunt.

Bono's a bit of a knob too, but at least he seems to realise it.

Gordon Sting wins/loses.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby jimmy two hands on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:32 pm

Nico Adie wrote:
jimmy two hands wrote:Image


That album cover is utterly magnificent.


If the music could sound anything like the album cover suggests, Billy Joel would rank in my highest esteem. Alas, it doesn't. Also Billy Joel trademarked his name. One-word names are a good indicator of douchebaggery, but trademarking your name is a dead giveaway.
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Re: Triple Douche-Dome: Bono v. Sting v. Billy Joel

Postby dabrasha on Thu Dec 02, 2010 2:40 pm

Based on their respective extracurricular activities -- saving Africa, saving the rain forest, eating ice cream -- Sting is the biggest failure, thus the top douche.
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